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Booked a coach holiday alone. Have anxiety disorder.

(63 Posts)
Desdemona Tue 16-Sept-25 13:38:56

I have struggled with anxiety all my life. When I was married I holidayed with my partner and children. Then after with my children.

Now my children are wanting to do their own thing (and I am a total socialphobe) I thought if I was to go anywhere at all I would have to branch out alone. So I have booked a coach holiday today by myself.

And now I feel sick. Please give me advice on how to navigate this trip alone.

Desdemona Tue 16-Sept-25 13:42:27

The coach trip is to the Lincoln area with various days out planned so how bad can it be?

Chocolatelovinggran Tue 16-Sept-25 13:43:12

Well done Desdemona - fortune favours the bold.
My experience of trips is that most people are welcoming and friendly. Take a book in case one evening you need time off being sociable.
I hope that you have a really good time.

Babs03 Tue 16-Sept-25 13:48:53

It won’t be bad at all, try to stop agonising beforehand and start looking at the upside to this, you are going on a lovely holiday to a beautiful part of the UK. If you want to avoid conversation on the coach read a book or do crosswords etc., the same goes for when at the hotel - I imagine there is a hotel - just quietly look occupied. But if someone, also alone, appears friendly and looks like your kind of person, nothing wrong with passing the time of day.
This is your holiday, do it your way, and try to relax.
All the best xx

Lathyrus3 Tue 16-Sept-25 14:04:03

I always have a bad feeling about going away. I’ve come to accept it as one of my unfortunate quirks🙄

- worst case scenario, if you absolutely hate it, you can get on a train and come home.

Though actually I think you will really enjoy yourself.
Coach holidays are one of the very best ways to take the plunge. Good decision!

Company when you want, solitude when you want, and everything organised for you😁

Desdemona Tue 16-Sept-25 14:07:11

Thanks for your advice. I don't even know what happens on a coach trip - no particular need to wear anything too special for evening meal etc.?

Ilovedogs22 Tue 16-Sept-25 14:09:22

Oh, well done you Desdemona!
Your actually brave enough to follow-up on an exciting travel- plan.
I'm a terrible dreamer & hardy procrastinator who rarely follows through! You'll have a wonderful time I'm sure & you'll be so glad you did it. "Fortune favours the brave"
X

Lathyrus3 Tue 16-Sept-25 14:13:18

The hotel dining room will probably be quite warm, so I like to change out of the t shirt and fleece day wear. Just a bit nicer
t shirt or thinnish jumper.

lixy Tue 16-Sept-25 14:17:54

Desdemona

Thanks for your advice. I don't even know what happens on a coach trip - no particular need to wear anything too special for evening meal etc.?

Nope, unless you have booked a ‘turkey and tinsel’ trip, in which case you’ll dress up for the main meal. Clean and tidy for travelling and maybe a change of clothes for the evening so you feel fresh if you want to.

Lincoln is lovely; pack comfortable shoes for walking as one of the tourist streets is a famously steep hill.

I hope you have a good time.

BlueBelle Tue 16-Sept-25 14:20:29

I ve never been on one myself as I get phobic about needing the toilet on buses and coaches I think it stems from a coach trip to London (cheaper than the train then) and the loo was broken so I worried the whole journey because it’s a phobia of mine at the best of times however my best friend made a lifelong friend just by sitting near a lady and getting talking on a coach trip a lot of years back they are still firm friends
Well done
I too am a procrastinator now I love dogs and plan loads of things that I never do
You relax and enjoy your holiday

Oregano Tue 16-Sept-25 14:20:40

Hi Desdemona, I booked a coach trip to Bruges on my own 2 years after my husband died. I don't know what came over me but it turned out really well! There's always a few people on their own and I was lucky enough to get chatting to 3 others and we tended to eat together in the evening and also went around together on the trips out. You don't really need to dress up, just smart casual type of things for the evenings I would say.
I've been on several other coach trips in this country since then but with a friend, but there are always other people on their own and we have often got chatting to them and quite often the single people can sit together for their meals if they want to.
Hope you have a great time anyway.

Daddima Tue 16-Sept-25 14:22:04

All my trips are solo now, to places I know and love, but I have done a couple of coach trips on my own. I found I could spend as much or as little time as I chose with others, with no pressure to join in any activities. I’d say you’ve done absolutely the right thing booking a coach tour, and you can take it at your own pace, getting as involved as you’re comfortable with, and your confidence will definitely build. Well done!

Grammaretto Tue 16-Sept-25 14:22:13

Well done for booking it Desdemona.
That's that done.
How long for? Yes a change of clothes for the evening would be good and whatever you like doing, take it anyway. Book, screen, knitting etc.

There will be chatty types but some like you
I haven't plucked up courage yet so you are ahead of me.
Let us know how it goes please and if it was good I'll be asking about the company!

LadyGracie Tue 16-Sept-25 14:32:36

My MIL did this after she retired, also feeling some trepidation as you are.

She met lots of likeminded people also a few she didn’t really take too but that’s inevitable.

She actually then went on at least one coach holiday every year.

I hope you enjoy yourself.

sassenach512 Tue 16-Sept-25 14:43:39

Well done Desdemona sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and push yourself to do things you feel uncomfortable about.
I've only been on one coach holiday but I found people very friendly and inclusive, anyone travelling alone was invited to join others so they didn't feel left out but there was no pressure. They were mostly couples who were retired with one or two younger people too. There was a lot of fun and laughter, there always seems to be those who act their shoe size but it all adds to the enjoyment. We had a lovely time and we're not extroverts by any means.
You can always escape to your room if it gets too much but if you find other people on their own, you could end up having a really nice time.
You've taken a big step booking your trip so you're halfway there. Say to yourself "I'm going to enjoy this" and push your doubts away. Good luck and have a great time flowers

PS let us know how you get on x

Skydancer Tue 16-Sept-25 14:59:34

You are going on an ideal holiday. We love coach trips. Everything is done for you. The driver sorts any problems. Toilet breaks are frequent as they are mostly dealing with older people. Have a great time. I know you will.

BlueSapphire Tue 16-Sept-25 15:56:25

I am glad you have been bold Desdemona, and booked a holiday on your own. I am sure you will enjoy it.
Since my DH died 7 years ago I have been on a cruise every.year plus a river cruise, and a coach touring holiday in South Africa.
The South Africa tour was amazing; we were a mix of couples and singles and everyone got on really well. We had a tour manager who did all the organising and solved any problems.
Evenings were a mix of organised meals together or dine where and when you wanted alone or with other singles. Dining alone doesn't bother me luckily. I am quite happy to please myself.
You will go to so many interesting places all organised for you and spend the coach journeys enjoying beautiful landscapes.

Happy holidays!

JackyB Tue 16-Sept-25 16:10:15

Well done!

As with many things, even for those without anxiety, I would just say: take each step at a time.

Just worry about where you have to be next, not tomorrow or at the end of the holiday. Plan your actions exactly -eg: I have to be in the dining room at 6 pm. I must find out where that is, and how long it takes me to get there. I must decide what I shall be wearing and get dressed at 5.30, I must check my handbag and hang it on the door handle of my room so I don't forget it, I must go to the loo and wash my hands at 5.40. And so on, perhaps even considering what drink you will order (coach parties are usually served a set menu so choosing your dinner is less of an issue)

Similarly if you have to be at the coach for a departure. Just plan everything for that, but only the immediate future.

Don't be afraid to ask about anything.

Chardy Tue 16-Sept-25 17:10:00

Really proud of you, Desdemona, you've done the hardest part.

I hope you enjoy it. Take some headphones in case the time on the coach becomes a bit much

silverlining48 Tue 16-Sept-25 17:29:50

I have had a few coach trips mainly abroad but they are all very friendly, I am sure you won’t be left on your own, unless you want some quiet of course. Well done for going for it, it’s a great way to travel alone, as are cruises too.
We were in Fred Olson and they have a welcome drinks meeting for singles at the start of the cruise.

Desdemona Tue 16-Sept-25 19:26:58

Thanks for all your lovely messages and advice. I will definitely report back as to how it went.

It's for 4 nights and only a week till I go (yikes!!)

valdavi Tue 16-Sept-25 19:37:13

You'll be fine.
I'm very anxious and I do find that motion relieves the anxiety - so once you're on that coach & the wheels start turning, I'm sure your anxiety will fade away.

Patsy70 Tue 16-Sept-25 20:37:16

Well done for booking this trip Desdemona. Now relax and look forward to it. I’m sure you’ll have a great time and enjoy Lincoln. Books and headphones will help. Let us know how it went. 🤞

readsalot Tue 16-Sept-25 21:38:25

Well done. You will have a great time. I agree with taking a book and headphones. Put an audiobook or two on your phone so you can listen and relax if you want. Have fun!

Calendargirl Tue 16-Sept-25 22:09:18

I think you have done just the right thing. Not too long away, but long enough to get used to what a coach holiday is about.

You are going to a lovely, quite rural county. And this time of year should be pleasant.

I hope you enjoy it, and let us know how it went.

Who are you travelling with, i.e. which company?