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Booked a coach holiday alone. Have anxiety disorder.

(64 Posts)
Desdemona Tue 16-Sept-25 13:38:56

I have struggled with anxiety all my life. When I was married I holidayed with my partner and children. Then after with my children.

Now my children are wanting to do their own thing (and I am a total socialphobe) I thought if I was to go anywhere at all I would have to branch out alone. So I have booked a coach holiday today by myself.

And now I feel sick. Please give me advice on how to navigate this trip alone.

TanaMa Wed 17-Sept-25 15:02:45

'Big girl knickers on' and go and enjoy your trip! I felt as you do when I booked my first solo cruise, never having been on one before. However, it wasn't long before I was chatting to many other passengers, and being enveloped in friendly group conversations. I was so pleased I had taken the chance of going solo, so I hope you will also.

Alwaysworrying Wed 17-Sept-25 14:59:19

Please let us know how you get on. I'm in the same boat as you...but l haven't been away for years as l have no one to go with, so if you enjoy yourself it might inspire me for next year! Have fun!

Hammo Wed 17-Sept-25 14:39:19

I have never been on a coach trip before ( sounds lovely, though) so I wanted to ask - if you are a solo traveller, are you seated on the coach next to a random person? Is the coach full so you need to always sit next to someone you don’t know? That’s the bit that worries me!

Lydie45 Wed 17-Sept-25 14:27:39

I would add just a couple of things. Take something to eat on the journey. The coach will stop usually for a meal break but it will be in a service area so you may prefer something from home rather than a burger. If you are worried about needing the toilet, even if you never ever use them perhaps buy a packet of Tena pants as a just in case. Nothing worse when you are older than needing to go and finding a queue. It’s just added security. Hope you have a lovely time.

Emelie321 Wed 17-Sept-25 14:24:25

I went on my first coach trip alone two years ago, and was a bit worried ahead of time, too. But I would definitely do it again. The holiday was excellent, I felt very well looked after,most people were good company,the accommodation was better than expected- and I still see friends I made on this trip from time to time. Do go and give it a chance!

Romola Wed 17-Sept-25 14:15:04

Desdemona, I'm so impressed with your courage and look forward to hearing how you get on.
I've been widowed nearly three years and haven't yet managed a solo holiday. though I know I should.

Grays Wed 17-Sept-25 14:04:09

Im on a coach trip right now and there are 4 solo travellers. They have all found a fellow passenger to sit with at meal times and on the coach. Couples are quick to welcome anyone on their own to join them on walks or for the evening entertainment. Go for it, you will be just fine 😊

jocork Wed 17-Sept-25 14:03:06

I've been considering a coach tour on my own but yet to actually do it. I've been on a couple of tours when I was married, but many years ago. We found the other tour participants friendly, and in Greece, a group of us went out to a local taverna together after the evening meal more than once. In Israel we spent a lot of time with two travellers who were both alone, one Brazilian and the other German. We even kept in touch with the German guy afterwards for a while. There were people who kept themselves to themselves too so it is OK to do your own thing. The tours we did included breakfast and evening meals and guides for the visits we went on. I think we had to get our own lunches but I don't really remember as it's many years ago. There was no requirement to dress up particularly for dinner, but both were in warm countries so went for cool comfort.
A friend of mine does lots of short tours in the UK and that is what gave me the idea. She also goes on cruises alone but I'm not sure I'm that brave yet!

amazonia Wed 17-Sept-25 13:58:07

Much to my surprise, my rather anti social dad has been on several coach trips over the last year. My mother died 5 years ago and she was always the driving force for holidays and socialising.
My dad has enjoyed his his coach trips very much. There are always lots of single people and he usually finds a nice lady friend to spend some time with!!
I'm sure you will have a lovely time.

HS62 Wed 17-Sept-25 13:51:59

I'm sure there will be others there that are exactly the same. I am like you antisocial and shy. I have to force myself out there and have had anxiety since a toddler I'm 64 now. It's very hard. You have to be very brave. If you start chatting, explain you are socially awkward. At heart, people are kind in general. If they have nothing more to do with you, they did you a favour. But try to enjoy it. Love xx

Cabbie21 Wed 17-Sept-25 09:11:18

I have done three solo coach trips since my husband died.
The first step is sitting next to a stranger on the coach. I have been lucky. The first time, I had a seat to myself, but the two ladies behind me invited me to sit with them at dinner, which I really appreciated. On outings I did my own thing, which was fine.
The second time, I was next to a fairly large man, but I had the aisle seat, so was not-too squashed. He wasn’t overly talkative, and we had no other contact throughout the day, so it was fine. At the end, he shook hands and in a slightly quaint way, he thanked me for my company on the journeys.
The third time, the lady I sat next to was a widow too. We got on extremely well, and stayed together for the rest of the week as we both wanted to do the same things.
So try not to worry. It will be fine. Enjoy your trip.

GoodAfternoonTea Wed 17-Sept-25 08:10:29

Please enjoy your holiday. I really can understand how you feel as I am very similar brought on by IBS. If you plan well, and take small steps each day, you will really enjoy it. How about keeping a log of what you do and take photos so you have a record to concentrate on similar to a companion. I was told by my counsellor to keep a daily diary which has helped me anchor. Perhaps tell us about it when you get back. We'd love to hear what you enjoyed.

keepingquiet Tue 16-Sept-25 22:14:20

After my dad passed away my mum took herself off on a coach tour of Europe. She was in her mid-sixties.
She thoroughly enjoyed herself and loved meeting new people.
Some of the people she met were friends for life and they kept in touch for years sending Christmas cards etc right up until she passed away in her 90s.

Go, have a wonderful time!

Calendargirl Tue 16-Sept-25 22:09:18

I think you have done just the right thing. Not too long away, but long enough to get used to what a coach holiday is about.

You are going to a lovely, quite rural county. And this time of year should be pleasant.

I hope you enjoy it, and let us know how it went.

Who are you travelling with, i.e. which company?

readsalot Tue 16-Sept-25 21:38:25

Well done. You will have a great time. I agree with taking a book and headphones. Put an audiobook or two on your phone so you can listen and relax if you want. Have fun!

Patsy70 Tue 16-Sept-25 20:37:16

Well done for booking this trip Desdemona. Now relax and look forward to it. I’m sure you’ll have a great time and enjoy Lincoln. Books and headphones will help. Let us know how it went. 🤞

valdavi Tue 16-Sept-25 19:37:13

You'll be fine.
I'm very anxious and I do find that motion relieves the anxiety - so once you're on that coach & the wheels start turning, I'm sure your anxiety will fade away.

Desdemona Tue 16-Sept-25 19:26:58

Thanks for all your lovely messages and advice. I will definitely report back as to how it went.

It's for 4 nights and only a week till I go (yikes!!)

silverlining48 Tue 16-Sept-25 17:29:50

I have had a few coach trips mainly abroad but they are all very friendly, I am sure you won’t be left on your own, unless you want some quiet of course. Well done for going for it, it’s a great way to travel alone, as are cruises too.
We were in Fred Olson and they have a welcome drinks meeting for singles at the start of the cruise.

Chardy Tue 16-Sept-25 17:10:00

Really proud of you, Desdemona, you've done the hardest part.

I hope you enjoy it. Take some headphones in case the time on the coach becomes a bit much

JackyB Tue 16-Sept-25 16:10:15

Well done!

As with many things, even for those without anxiety, I would just say: take each step at a time.

Just worry about where you have to be next, not tomorrow or at the end of the holiday. Plan your actions exactly -eg: I have to be in the dining room at 6 pm. I must find out where that is, and how long it takes me to get there. I must decide what I shall be wearing and get dressed at 5.30, I must check my handbag and hang it on the door handle of my room so I don't forget it, I must go to the loo and wash my hands at 5.40. And so on, perhaps even considering what drink you will order (coach parties are usually served a set menu so choosing your dinner is less of an issue)

Similarly if you have to be at the coach for a departure. Just plan everything for that, but only the immediate future.

Don't be afraid to ask about anything.

BlueSapphire Tue 16-Sept-25 15:56:25

I am glad you have been bold Desdemona, and booked a holiday on your own. I am sure you will enjoy it.
Since my DH died 7 years ago I have been on a cruise every.year plus a river cruise, and a coach touring holiday in South Africa.
The South Africa tour was amazing; we were a mix of couples and singles and everyone got on really well. We had a tour manager who did all the organising and solved any problems.
Evenings were a mix of organised meals together or dine where and when you wanted alone or with other singles. Dining alone doesn't bother me luckily. I am quite happy to please myself.
You will go to so many interesting places all organised for you and spend the coach journeys enjoying beautiful landscapes.

Happy holidays!

Skydancer Tue 16-Sept-25 14:59:34

You are going on an ideal holiday. We love coach trips. Everything is done for you. The driver sorts any problems. Toilet breaks are frequent as they are mostly dealing with older people. Have a great time. I know you will.

sassenach512 Tue 16-Sept-25 14:43:39

Well done Desdemona sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and push yourself to do things you feel uncomfortable about.
I've only been on one coach holiday but I found people very friendly and inclusive, anyone travelling alone was invited to join others so they didn't feel left out but there was no pressure. They were mostly couples who were retired with one or two younger people too. There was a lot of fun and laughter, there always seems to be those who act their shoe size but it all adds to the enjoyment. We had a lovely time and we're not extroverts by any means.
You can always escape to your room if it gets too much but if you find other people on their own, you could end up having a really nice time.
You've taken a big step booking your trip so you're halfway there. Say to yourself "I'm going to enjoy this" and push your doubts away. Good luck and have a great time flowers

PS let us know how you get on x

LadyGracie Tue 16-Sept-25 14:32:36

My MIL did this after she retired, also feeling some trepidation as you are.

She met lots of likeminded people also a few she didn’t really take too but that’s inevitable.

She actually then went on at least one coach holiday every year.

I hope you enjoy yourself.