Ettiquete on public transport

I sat on a priority seat on the bus today. Next to me was a young, fit woman. An elderly lady with shopping came on and was standing. I tapped the girl on the shoulder, pointed to the priority sign and the woman and in fairness instantly leapt out of her seat.

kjmpde

When I was a child it was considered good manners for a child to stand up if an adult wanted a seat on the bus. People also moved their hats, bags etc if they saw a passenger who needed a seat. Now I see young children occupying a seat. People who will not move their things or move up to allow people to sit down-. I find it is the mature people who have the least manners. I had to ask a woman in her 50s to move her bag so I could sit down. She then spoke on her phone about sitting "next to an idiot". She stood up to get off the bus but did not say excuse me . I said I was getting off at the next stop and as suggested by the signs on the bus - it was best to sit down till the bus stopped. When we got off, she walked a few yards and turned round and told me that I needed to have manners. I personally thought it was the other way around

so my question to the grans generation - do you encourage your grandkids to stand up or sit on your lap? do you move your bag or hat to allow people to sit down?

or am i living in the wrong era?

What a rude woman! What gets me is people who put their bags/coats etc on the seat next to them on a crowded train depriving others of seats.

My eldest son offered to lift a young woman’s case up onto a rack for her. She turned round and told him that she was perfectly capable of doing it herself. He doesn’t offer now.

If the offer of a seat is declined several times ( on different journeys and to different people obvs) then it does make a generous person feel it isn’t worth doing.

ClicketyClick good for you girl! Isn’t it awful tho that bystanders who clearly saw the ticket officer telling them to move carried on muttering their abusive comments.
What has this country come to?🤬
I expect your DH didn’t want to argue as they were young women, but he could have and should have, backed you up.

Oreo

M0nica

Oreo

Of course it doesn’t help when people, after being offered a seat choose to decline it.

Why doessn't help. I hav eoffered people my seat and had it declined. I had no problem with it.

I think it doesn’t help because if kind offers of a seat are often declined then the kind offers will soon dry up.

But tthat is unlikely to happen because most people do accept a seat with gratitude. If one person consistently says no it will be to a different person each time, or if it is the same person they will stop offering a seat to that specific individual.

Nomadica reminded me of this. I'd paid extra to reserve 2 train seats which as I half expected were occupied. Two females, probably about 19/20, were busy slapping on their faces and chose to ignore me when I politely asked them to move. They refused and disputing we'd not reserved those seats. To be fair there were no reserved tickets on our seats or anywhere else for that matter. They were so arrogant and mouthing off to me and even said we should go to another carriage further down where there'd be free seats so told them they'd have no problems then either. Still refused and by this stage I was about to lose my rag because they'd caused such a scene themselves shouting that they'd also got the majority of the carriage on their side. So not only them but others around having a go at me saying I was in the wrong and that just because we were old didn't entitle us to those seats!! I just couldn't believe (well I could) that the 2 females took the attitude of me me me when we were 2 oap's, one of which was clearly disabled and expected us to stand for the 2 hour journey and having paid the extra to avoid standing for so long. I said if they didn't move I'd sit on the nearest one's lap and started to move her make up bags to set my suitcase on the table. Luckily the ticket officer happened to come into the carriage right then. After some explaining from me and showing my reserved tickets, the females arguing to the staff that they were there first, the staff told them they needed to move with much huffing and puffing from them. We sat down and spent the rest of our journey hearing others in the carriage making deliberately loud obnoxious comments about us. I'd had enough by then and decided I wasn't going to be intimidated any further so stood up and asked them to feel free to check our tickets and that I hoped they'd never find themselves in this situation when they are older. It put a bit of a downer on the start of a long looked forward to weekend break. Coward of a DH said nothing throughout.

M0nica

Oreo

Of course it doesn’t help when people, after being offered a seat choose to decline it.

Why doessn't help. I hav eoffered people my seat and had it declined. I had no problem with it.

I think it doesn’t help because if kind offers of a seat are often declined then the kind offers will soon dry up.

NannaFirework

When I was working as a Reg Childminder I always led by example and we moved out of the path of prams, elderly etc and let those people go ‘inside (away from kerbside ). When it was just myself and the child/children or pushchair I expected the same courtesy and would verbally thank those who moved to let us pass ‘inside’ furthest from the kerb.
It was usually rude elderly people that let my little ones hold the door for them and not take the open door and say thank you!
Parents and Elders should show manners and lead by example.
I would ask anyone jogging a seat on a bus, train to move their feet, bag etc…
On the underground, people often offer me their seat ( I must look so old and frail)🥴

I couldn't agree with you more about leading by example and, yes, always thank people who have been polite. I am always cross when I have opened a door, or waited for someone, and don't even receive eye contact let alone a thank-you.
I would have thought that, if someone needs a seat, and if they ask a person sitting if they may have their seat, particularly if that person is sitting in a priority seat, then that person will give up their seat? Sometimes people just need to be asked?
It's a bit of a family joke, but I was sent to the local shops on my own from a very young age to buy whatever groceries were needed. I was taught to hold the shop door open for older people. I was quite indignant, because the older people would just walk through the door, sometimes they thanked me, sometimes not, which meant that I would often find myself at the end of a long queue 😡 I was still encouraged to continue holding the door open for adults though.

I don't like it when I'm allocated a seat when I book trains online. More often than not someone is sitting in the seat and don't move when I say that's my seat or are 'asleep' or staring blankly with headphones in. I'd rather not have the conflict.

Jogging (!) obvs should be hogging!

When I was working as a Reg Childminder I always led by example and we moved out of the path of prams, elderly etc and let those people go ‘inside (away from kerbside ). When it was just myself and the child/children or pushchair I expected the same courtesy and would verbally thank those who moved to let us pass ‘inside’ furthest from the kerb.
It was usually rude elderly people that let my little ones hold the door for them and not take the open door and say thank you!
Parents and Elders should show manners and lead by example.
I would ask anyone jogging a seat on a bus, train to move their feet, bag etc…
On the underground, people often offer me their seat ( I must look so old and frail)🥴

I took my grandson on a bus ride to the cinema when he was only 3. As the bus filled up I suggested he sat on my lap to let a man sit down who was standing, but he made a fuss and didn't want too. The standing man said not to worry and that he was fine standing. I was embarassed as I was brought up to give up my seat for an adult, but my grandson isn't used to travelling by bus regularly so he sees it as a treat and wants his own seat. Thankfully there was plenty room on the way home!

I recently had to stand all of the journey on a packed train. So did my husband with his poorly knee.
There was other older folks and a young mum having to carry her toddler the whole time.
The seats were taken by football fans , lots of men , young women and lots of kids .
Not a single one offered anyone, even the mum with the baby ,a seat .
I was disgusted.
Not on my own behalf as I am fit and well at 70 but for the less able and that girl.
It left me wondering how old I will have to be before I am considered an old lady who needs a seat .... And yes , I do have white hair and wrinkles!

Its very easy to teach children good manners and courtesy, starts in the home.

So many posters remember the time when children were expected to sit on mum's lap or stand, to give the seat to an adult.

Sadly, times have changed and there is a lot of entitlement now.

It wasn't really dangerous for a child to stand, as the mums used to sit in the aisle seat and give the window seat to the adult who needed it. They would have their arm around the child.

If I use my stick on buses, I have always been offered a seat, so perhaps things aren't as bad as they are portrayed.

Anyone who has an item on a seat and complains about moving it I ask how much they were charged for the item to be seated on the bus/train.
Etiquette has diminshed over the years, it's everyman for themself. When GC were small I would have sat them on my knee or moved to the outside seat so I could be beside them if they were standing. No chance now at 5'11 and 5'8".

It used to be printed on every bus on the front partition about children giving up their seat to older people at busy times - I still have that imprinted on my brain in my 60s

My pet hate is older people and families setting up camp on the disabled seats near the front of the bus.

I am an older person age 71 with joint and mobility problems who uses crutches and has a disabled buss pass.

Lots of older retired woman pile on the bus with packed shopping trolleys. After waking around all afternoon shopping. So presumably they don't have problems walking

They take up two sats seats. One for them to sit on and one for their other parcels and bags.

These people are very entitled and selfish. And think the world is all about them

I'm 68 and still stand for somebody if they look like they need the seat more than I do

ArthurAskey

Sadly, the country has gone to the dogs.

I can only speak from experience. I use public transport most days. I obviously look more immobile than I actually am, as if all seats are taken on a bus or tube that I am travelling on, it would be very unusual for me not to be offered a seat. There are inconsiderate people on public transport, but I find most fellow travellers will offer their seat if they see someone who needs the seat more than they do.

I once tried get my youngest child on bus,in his buggy,complete with his heavy oxygen tank & breathing monitor(he was an early baby) but driver refused,saying there were 2prams already,i asked if i could at least ask if one of the mums could fold their buggy up maybe,but he refused.I obviously could not put mine down,and in effect we should have had same priority as a wheelchair user- but still driver refused.I reported him to inspector,something i had never bothered to do before.

One of my adult children is now a bus driver,and he is very popular because he always helps older folk get on/off safely if they need help,or makes sure they can sit down ok before setting off.Like i said, he was brought up with good manners& to be kind.

Sadly, the country has gone to the dogs.

Always told my own children to stand for someone else older,and to move their bags etc,(or i put a young child on my knee) so yes did and do encourage them and now they have also brought up their children with the same good manners.Manners costs nothing.It depends how they are brought up doesnt it..Some,sadly,are dragged up,as the saying used to go.