Long Lost Family: Born Without Trace.

Shocking program again tonight. I just can’t get my head around it all and I was a very young and frightened 18 year old mum .

When my son was in SCBU in the 80's ,there was a baby in another room who was being adopted.His mother had had an affair and her husband was prepared to carry on with their marriage as long as she didn't bring the baby home.She used to sneak down to SCBU to visit him during the week she was in after her c section.I felt so sad for her .People make mistakes ,its not the childs fault I often wonder if the marriage survived and where the wee boy went .
I see some on here still blame the mother"one mistake is acceptable but to let it happen twice" Really? Unless you know all the circumstances you cant either apportion blame or judge .It DOES take two!

One of last night’s babies was born in 1962, and not sure if both tonight’s were about the same time.
Strange how these abandoned children were born at similar times.
Did no one notice these women were pregnant, and wonder what happened to the babies they had?

I've just always assumed that the mother of a foundling child would be a young, frightened girl with no one to turn to.
Last night's programme (and tonight's) show quite a different situation. I must say, I was quite surprised to find the mothers were in their 30's and, in tonight's programme, married with older children.

That was a very grand grave that the mother had. Maybe she came from quite an influential local family, who even now, still want to keep it quiet. I wonder what the mothers life was before she met him. I assume she left that small village life and moved to Dublin, where she met him.

At least six years is a long time to wait for a proposal of
marriage, unless it wasn’t a relationship but two meetings six
years apart.

I too watched the programme, to abandon one baby in this way is terrible, but to abandon two is just horrendous. It's just so sad that the mother couldn't find a way to give the children up for adoption rather than to just leave them for someone to find. The mother was in her 30s when she had the first baby, so not a teenage girl. On reflection, I do think that she must have known the father was married/unavailable, why else would she give up her babies? You would presume therefore, that she was a single parent. The whole story was so sad, and the fact that the mother never had any more children is just heartbreaking. I just hope that the decision to abandon her 2 children was hers alone and she was not coerced by her married partner who had the luxury of keeping all 14 of his children.

I used to work in a maternity hospital many many years ago as a social worker.

There were several occasions where we had to find accommodation for girls in another part of the country in order to prevent them from serious harm. This was partly cultural. Certain ethnic minority girls would tell us that their fathers would "kill them" if they knew they were pregnant - they meant it literally, so we had to find ways to ensure their safety.

I found it strange that each of the abandoned children were left in tartan duffle type bags, six years apart, and in different parts of the country certainly, but the police didn’t make any connection.

My DH pointed out however, that we are talking about the 1960’s, and communications and information would not be shared as it is nowadays.

My husband was adopted ( I hate the expression given up for adoption) until you know the whole story it is impossible to judge.

My husband and his birth mother were he first mother and child to be reunited In 2006 under a new law that allowed birth parents to search for their children.

We have lived the story, it was an emotional rollercoaster, a bittersweet voyage of discovery and not something we as a family would ever wish to repeat.

Is this the 'poor woman' who had a long standing affair with a married man ?

Oops posted before I’d finished.

Meant to add there are plenty cases of men leaving double lives for years .

She did have a choice Anniebach but what if she did not know he was already married ? What if he strung her along for years in the pretence that he would marry her eventually ?

Poor woman was left with no choice but to abandon her babies.

The mother had the choice not to have an affair with a married man

I have just watched this programme.I found it very emotional but was struck by how gracious and accepting the siblings were on learning about their parents.

It was lovely for the siblings to find each other

But so sad that both parents had died

They will never know their story now

I still think the father was very selfish . He had 14 legitimate children with his wife and and he probably ruined his mistress’s life as she would have had little choice but to give up her babies. So sad. I hope he was recognised . His family should know what sort of man their father really was.

The mother may have been the fathers mistress for years

There was no divorce in Ireland until after he'd died.

Unless I was not concentrating I do not think they actually said the father had 14 children with the same woman. I notice they were only in touch with 3 of them at the end.

That is so wrong unless you were watching a different programme. The father was married and had 14 children. If I remember rightly - and please correct me if I don't - they were all older than the two who were foundlings. Three of those children had died. The mother was never married. The two children were born, again I think, six years apart and this was Ireland.

I don't think you can compare times now to the time in Ireland then. And yes, mistakes are always forgivable unless you think you are perfect.

I was an amazing programme and I am so glad for the brother and sister.

One 'mistake' is forgivable but two?

Yes, 14 children with his wife, 3 of whom had died.

Yes the father was married with 14 children. The two foundlings were younger - very sad but it must have been very hard to have babies out of wedlock back then. Thankfully things have moved on.

Unless I was not concentrating I do not think they actually said the father had 14 children with the same woman. I notice they were only in touch with 3 of them at the end.