Long Lost Family: Born Without Trace.

I understand your way of thinking Grammaretto however I'm a bit dubious about how much control he could exert given the situation.
Of course things were very different then.

Both episodes made me cry, who are we to judge not knowing all the circumstances, so very sad.

* sodapop* did she though?

He sounds a very determined man and probably wielded considerable power over her. The kind of person who'd have told her to get an abortion rather than make him own up to supporting the child. He may have fathered more than 16 children.

It would be interesting to know what the siblings subsequently discovered. Sorry I am speculating and judging but that's what the programme is designed to make us viewers do. It has certainly broadened my knowledge and reminded me of those awful times.

My own mother who was taught by Irish nuns in a convent and was full of dire warnings to us girls about adultery and premarital sex. "No nice man will ever want to marry you"

The adultery thing has stuck.

MissFoodLove of course it not for me to forgive or judge. I apologise for that. I should have said I am just extremely sad and upset. And I certainly do understand the social sanctions of the times, especially in Ireland. I have read the books about the cruel nuns and laundries, and also the book/film of Philomena.

She had the choice not to continue the affair Missfoodlove as did the man concerned of course. I can summon up very little sympathy.

Schnackid, it is not up to us to forgive, the poor woman had little choice.

In Southern Ireland the shame of having an affair with a Protestant, being pregnant and unmarried would have been just dreadful.

There was no contraception available and the country was run by the Catholic Church.

You only have to read about the laundries and the way the poor girls were treated, their families put them there knowing how cruel the nuns could be.

Poor woman.

Perhaps we should remember that people were more judgemental in the past; girls/women who 'got into trouble' were looked down upon. When I was young I lived near a 'home for unmarried mothers'. everyone knew why they were there and the comments made were just awful. The boys/men ,of course, got away with it more often than not. No disapproving comments about them. How many babies were born 6-7 months after a shotgun wedding?
Thank goodness that we live in an age where birth control is free and readily available, at least in the UK, thank goodness no-one is forced into having a shotgun wedding with the likelihood that the marriage will fail, thank goodness that the stigma associated with being an 'unmarried mother' has mostly dissipated.
Perhaps we should think about what it was really like then and be glad times have changed. If life had been different then , most of these children would have had very different lives.

These 2 shows have just broken my heart. And there must be so many more. I cannot forgive the mother in the first episode who left 2 children (6 years apart), and weirdly on different sides of the Irish border! If left closer, the tartan bags might have alerted the authorities and they might have found each other earlier. The second episode, I do believe the mother must have had severe postnatal depression, but I wonder if the father could have done something to find the boy later on. Truly tragic.

More tears for me when watching the 2nd episode.
Yet I love watching these programmes!

Thanks polyester57 I found it and have just watched last night's again with DH. He was tearful watching it too.

The day before #3 was born I was waddling down the street trying to run as I was late picking #2 up from nursery.
I apologised for being slow and was asked "why, what's the matter with you?"
I had quite a loose coat on but still... he was an 8lb baby

Yes lemsip, thinking about it, they would hardly have been wearing tight leggings and little crop tops with a huge tummy exposed back in the 60’s, as is commonplace nowadays.

back in the day we wore loose clothing when pregnant so in many cases it was hardly noticable that you were about to give birth!!

Grammaretto, I don´t live in the UK but I watched both parts on Youtube, the quality is not great, but watchable.

foundlingvoices.foundlingmuseum.org.uk/index.html

from the foundling museum london! Voices of people who were foundlings.

Is it possible to watch this again or do we need to pay?

I actually wonder how many candidates they have set up for the programme, cynic that I am. After all it's popular television so if they came across incest or worse it would have to be sorry but your story is just too awful. Then there would be yet another rejection.

I had my DNA tested last year partly to solve my own family legend once and for all. My Gf was allegedly the son of a wealthy landowner, who could take his pick of his serfs, but was brought up by the girl's parents as her little brother.
Anyway I found it is perfectly true and my closest relations are cousins through the landowner.
However, these new cousins are not interested in meeting me!
I realised that I did meet my gt aunt without knowing she was really my gt grandmother. She must have known. Strange isn't it.

Paddyanne I was not exonerating the biological father, this was an extra marital affair that went on for some time not some young naive girl and immature youth.

Grammaretto no I’m not familiar with Nicky Campbell’s story. I will have a read.

When my cousin met up with her birth mother it was such a crushing disappointment. She left her husband and baby at another nearby cafe to have the initial reunion just the 2 of them.

Her intention was to then take her birth mother round the corner to meet her husband and baby. But she declined to meet them.

I watched last night's showing and came here to see your reactions
I found it quite emotional and sad. Touching that cornedbeef baby continued to live in the same house incase his morher came looking for him!
I'll bet she came to see how he was getting on.

It was, and still is in some cultures, thought best for the child to be brought up by others who can give him more than you can.
One of Jane Austen's brothers was informally adopted by a rich family, distant rellies? and he became very successful and a benefactor.

That's a poignant story about your cousin Grannynannywanny.
Have any of you read Nicky Campbell's own story? It's a gripping tale.

I have a younger cousin who was adopted as a newborn by my aunt and uncle. Sadly her adoptive mother then died when she was 4 years old.

She decided to trace her birth mother in her 20’s. A longing that became stronger when she became a mother herself.

Her birth mother agreed to meet up with her. She had been single and unsupported by the father and gave her up for adoption.

25 years on she was married to another man and had 2 more daughters and none of them were aware of her past and she had no intention of telling them.

The meeting ended on a “don’t contact me I’ll contact you” basis. Sadly my cousin agreed to that to avoid the risk of her husband and daughters finding out and she never heard from her birth mother again.

It was a double rejection for her.

Posters seem to be judging this by the more modern standards of a different culture.
This was the Republic of Ireland in the 1960s, a very different place than today. There was no divorce.
We don't know what had happened in this man's marriage.

Perhaps the mother of the two children truly loved him - it was said in the programme that she had been seen with him just before he died and that some of his children knew about her but not the babies, so it was a longstanding affair.
She must have been desperate but I do think it was sad that he perhaps did not support her more.

It is wonderful that brother and sister have now met.

Thanks, gillybob. I think I'll likely feel the same as you, though.

The mother paid a very heavy price for her affair. Not so the father who had all his children in his life. As they are not still here to explain or defend their actions we shouldn't judge them too harshly. I'm sure 1960s Ireland was a very different time and place.

It was ITV marelli . Shown over 2 nights (Monday and Tuesday ) I found it quite upsetting .

I've missed this. What channel is it on, please?