The Father

I've just watched this again, now available on Amazon.

My own mother had dementia and had to put her in a care home when she started getting violent towards the children (it’s a horrible disease)

yes it's brilliant. It was on bbc iirc and it's Glenda Jackson who plays the lead

here currently unavailable but might be on youtube?

justwokeup

You can deal with this subject in a lighthearted way, eg the excellent books 'Elizabeth is Missing' by Emma Healey or 'The Selfish Pig's Guide To Caring' by Hugh Marriott but all are unfortunately, and realistically at present, lacking in hope. Thank you, I hadn't heard of this film, mokryna, I'll watch it. The more people who are aware of the effects of dementia, the better. The one thing that always astounded me was that my relative always said they were fine, managing well, always ate meals etc, and the 'professionals' invariably accepted what was told them, when the reality was exactly the opposite.

I think I saw a tv version of ‘Elizabeth is Missing’ with Judy Dench recently.

He is a wonderful actor but I don't think he need sympathy wrt his daughter, he sounds like he has been an awful Father

www.mercurynews.com/2018/05/24/anthony-hopkins-and-his-estranged-daughter-abandonment-addictions-and-his-aspergers-syndrome/

I like powerful films, and I hate romcoms. I think Anthony Hopkins is one of the greatest actors of all times. I will go and see it just for him, also it is an in illness that will affect so many in the future.

Totally understand that was what the film was trying to achieve.
Unfortunately i just found it at times difficult to follow.

Kamj

My husband and I went to see it, I found it a little confusing to follow, Half the time I couldnt tell what was happening in reality and what wasnt.
Did find it a powerful watch though.

I think that was deliberate on the director's part to try to convey how someone suffering from dementia sees the world. A sobering film but some humour mixed in with the pathos. Sensitive performances from both Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Colman. A really good film.

My husband and I went to see it, I found it a little confusing to follow, Half the time I couldnt tell what was happening in reality and what wasnt.
Did find it a powerful watch though.

You can deal with this subject in a lighthearted way, eg the excellent books 'Elizabeth is Missing' by Emma Healey or 'The Selfish Pig's Guide To Caring' by Hugh Marriott but all are unfortunately, and realistically at present, lacking in hope. Thank you, I hadn't heard of this film, mokryna, I'll watch it. The more people who are aware of the effects of dementia, the better. The one thing that always astounded me was that my relative always said they were fine, managing well, always ate meals etc, and the 'professionals' invariably accepted what was told them, when the reality was exactly the opposite.

Despite being a huge Anthony Hopkins fan, I really can't abide Olivia Coleman. It might just be me, but it puts me off seeing what sounds like a really good film. I was pleased he received the Oscar.

greenlady102

I really do not get why people want to see sad films or Tv programs or read sad books.....I mean why?????

Because they often raise important issues & help people reflect on those issues and their own lives. I don’t like fluffy, inane films. Surely it’s not hard to accept that people like different things.

Cannot bring myself to watch this film at the moment, with a DH with Alzheimer’s and mother with Vascular Dementia it would be too tough a watch I think.

icanhandthemback

I love seeing Anthony Hopkins but don't know if I can bear this film right now. My mother has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers and Vascular Dementia which, although it was what I anticipated, has been more upsetting than I realised it would be. Watching a feisty, bloody minded, awkward, cussed woman fading into a frightened, confused, vulnerable shadow of herself is gut wrenching. I'm not sure that a film in similar vein is entertainment right now.

I hope you have accessed your local Alzheimer's Society. Despite their name, they offer help to all people living with dementia and to the people caring for them. Please do contact them.

My BiL has just been diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia and having an actually diagnosis rather than a vague notion is devastating.

Annaram1 and others, I am so sorry you looked after a loved one with this disabling illness. And if the advert running on tv is to go by, in many cases without any help from the government.
Watching this film made me realize what it could be like to suffer through the eyes of person who has this illness.
marq66 it makes me think of doing a ‘living will’ I don’t know if they exist in France. I certainly don’t want my children to suffer moreover if I don’t recognize them, I will just be a shell.

I heard on the radio that the French author intends to write another two books, the next one through the eyes of a son.
Also when he wrote the first book he thought of AH as the principal actor for the film and even gave the name Anthony in the book.

* joy47*. Think it would be better for you to open a new page so that you will get more help dealing with your painful arthritis.

Very confused about the arthritis and low cupboards comments ? Do they feature in the film ?!

My dear husband suffered from Alzheimers for 6 years, growing steadily worse. Then he had a vascular stroke. I cared for him as long as I could but it became more and more difficult. Finally I had to put him in a care home, and I used to visit him for 5 hours every day. As the home was 26 miles away this was quite a journey. He was such a kind nice man and I feel angry that he had to suffer in this way. RIP Darling.

Tissues ready and tickets booked. Thankful for social distancing in this case as i have the back row to myself. (very small cinema. I love a sad film , it makes me realise how lucky I am (at the moment) and hopefully will give a better understanding of Alzheimer's. Anthony Hopkins is the spitting image of my Dad who fortunately was 95yrs old and very alert when he died. His favourite saying was "Aren't I lucky". He had a large family who took care of him, not everyone is lucky as he was.

Exactly the same here, not sure I am brave enough to see it on big screen, having lived through it with my father, who died of Covid caught in his care home just before Christmas, 2 days before he was due to have first vaccine.

Joy47

Arthritis is causing me to have difficulty accessing the low cupboards in my sideboard and living room/ dining room tall units. There must be others with this problem and if so how did you solve it? Joy Davies

I don’t have arthritis but I do have sacroiliac joint dysfunction which makes bending down and forward painful when it flares. I have a small office chair with no armrests on wheels and use that, it makes getting things out of lower cupboards much easier.

My friend has just messaged me to say the film is on in our local town mokryna and others who mentioned it. We are going next week.

Don't keep anything you need in low cupboards. If you MUST keep spare china etc there then ask whoever comes to visit to get themselves a cup and plate out ! No need to explain - just ask.

We watched it. Anthony Hopkins was marvellous as usual. Not an easy watch especially for those going through it. However, it certainly gives an insight into this terrible illness.
Personally, the reason I watch difficult or sad films is that it helps me realise that most people have problems. It makes me realise that my own problems which at times seem insurmountable, are really not so bad.

Looking forward to watching this film very soon.

Having seen far too much of dementia in both my mother and my FiL, I would welcome any film - especially starring Anthony Hopkins - that shows the realities of dementia - so many people (understandably if they haven’t lived with it) don’t have a clue and seem to think it’s just a case of a nice old thing gently getting more forgetful. So how dare you put them in a home, you nasty, selfish, uncaring person?

I’d like to see the film, but I do wonder whether it will show the realities so many relatives have to live with - rages, accusations of stealing from them, general nastiness towards loved ones, when they’d never have dreamt of saying such things before, up and down half the night, banging and shouting… etc. etc.