A Very British Sex Scandal

My first child, born in 1985, when I was single, had a father who both worked with me (above) me and was married. I worked for a company in London who had their HQ abroad and a number of newly married young men worked away in London Mon-Fri.

I’m not in any way proud of my behaviour. Both of us were in our mid 20’s, started just as friends, and when I realised I was pregnant I immediately left my employment, living on next to nothing until my son was a few months old, when I got a new job in London, where no one knew my past or my baby’s father.

He paid maintenance and helped with other costs until I got married when my son was 9.

As far as I know his wife and other children never found out.

I’ve been married now for over 27 years and we have other children, now grown up. Everyone involved knows the full story and have accepted that humans make mistakes.

May i ask ? did you have concerns for your lovers wife?

Watching the programme I was struck how febrile is the world of politics. It portrayed a tawdry Greek tragedy caused by hubris, a vengeful Fury and a Chorus of sniggering people gleefully outlining the principal players' misfortunes.

Neither Parkinson's nor Keays emerged with much credit, but it was Keays who had to shoulder the burden, and the former's attitude over Flora's maintenance was shameful. The Solicitor-General was right to ban Keays from talking in public about her daughter because it would damage the child, and the woman on Question Time was breaking the law, as she well knew. Equally, both parties should have avoided public appearances on television and in the Press.

Cecil Parkinson is dead. I hope his wife, and Sarah Keays, have found some peace.
Flora was the victim.

Anniebach good question - I’ll give you the answer, they never do …

Anniebach

May i ask ? did you have concerns for your lovers wife?

Yes, I was young and must’ve and both of felt guilty. The reason I left my job immediately was so his wife never found out. At the time I felt I was also an “innocent” party but of course in retrospect I was not. I did not know I was pregnant initially, I always had very irregular periods and weight always up and down. I found out at the end of July, left my job mid August and gave birth beginning of December.

Sorry that should read “I was young and naive and both of us felt guilty”

crazyH

Anniebach good question - I’ll give you the answer, they never do …

I don’t believe you can possibility speak for everyone!

Perhaps it’ll make you feel better to know that my now husband had an affair when all three of our children were under 6, with a woman he worked with. I was devastated and somehow felt I deserved it and we managed to get through it and I’ve never been unfaithful to him.

Allsorts

What a slimy toad of a man punishing his child, her differently from his others, it must have been a marriage of convenience, no one would take a man back after 12 years of cheating and neglecting to maintain his child. If he were my husband I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole.

I would feel the same. What sort of woman could remain married to a man who could treat a child like that?

Cossy it was brave of you to post your experience, you should not have to explain yourself to anyone on here.

Thank you Cossy

Ilovecheese

Cossy it was brave of you to post your experience, you should not have to explain yourself to anyone on here.

I really don’t mind, I made a huge mistake and wouldn’t change my wonderful son for the world!

Thank you, it happened, it’s not something I’m proud of, but neither myself or my son’s biological father are bad people, neither is my husband who has spent years and years making up for his “mistake”

Anniebach

Thank you Cossy

No worries

Allsorts and ILovecheese, we none of us know how Anne Parkinson felt; she was humiliated enough without people blaming her for saying in her marriage.

Ilovecheese

Allsorts

What a slimy toad of a man punishing his child, her differently from his others, it must have been a marriage of convenience, no one would take a man back after 12 years of cheating and neglecting to maintain his child. If he were my husband I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole.

I would feel the same. What sort of woman could remain married to a man who could treat a child like that?

Because HER children with Cecil weren't treated like that and she didn't want to rock the boat and mess up her and the children's future?

Most women with any kind of conscience wouldn't be able to live with the behaviour of a man like that. The cheating was bad, but treating a little girl like that was beyond the pale.

Cecil Parkinson and Sara Keays. no accounting for taste is there, wouldn't do if we all liked the same

'slimy toad' a very apt description.

Most women with any kind of conscience wouldn't be able to live with the behaviour of a man like that.
I wonder, Desdemona, Ilovecheese and Allsorts, if you have any idea of the feelings of Anne Parkinson following the actions of her husband and Sarah Keays, who tried for twelve years to wreck their marriage? So she and her children should suffer as well? Possibly she stayed with him because she put the welfare of her children before her pride?
Does anyone give a thought for the wives of Robin Cook, Chris Huhne, David Mellor, Matt Hancock et al or their families?
Spare us the moralising.

Agree eazybee Anne Parkinson was a victim yet is criticised

I am not moralising about her I am moralising about him. Its actually quite important to moralise about the welfare of children. When I have made mistakes similar to cossy I have been nothing but grateful when I was told to stop being an idiot by a friend who had the welfare of my children at heart. Her moralising was a good thing.
I appreciate you sharing cossy, my guess is like me you understand that actions have consequences, and one of the consequences of a man not having contact with his child is that lots of people will express their view of him.

Is a 12 year affair a mistake?

I think we are agreeing annie.
I think Cecils wife was in an impossible position, many women tolerate all sorts of behaviour as to leave would be worse for the children.
I will continue quite happily to judge a man or woman who does not have contact with their child.

I don't watch such rubbish. What's a sex scandal anyway?

Yes we agree Galaxy 😀

Galaxy

I am not moralising about her I am moralising about him. Its actually quite important to moralise about the welfare of children. When I have made mistakes similar to cossy I have been nothing but grateful when I was told to stop being an idiot by a friend who had the welfare of my children at heart. Her moralising was a good thing.
I appreciate you sharing cossy, my guess is like me you understand that actions have consequences, and one of the consequences of a man not having contact with his child is that lots of people will express their view of him.

We are all human, many of us make mistakes, some large, some very large, some of us own them! One cannot change the past, but it is possible to move forward and be a “better” person for owning one’s mistakes and acknowledging the hurt it could, or has, caused other innocent parties.

Thatcher’s favourite. Never stopped backing him the silly woman

It's not the affairs that matter to me - it all seems pretty routine for MPs these days, and Boris Johnson and his fans seem admiringly satisfied about his serial philanderings.
What I find hard to stomach about the Parkinson affair is the neglect and pain inflicted on that poor child, not to mention the children of his marriage.
In the documentary, Parkinson came over as a sly, smarmy and unprincipled rotter.
I suppose I feel a little sympathy for his wife, but she almost certainly knew what was going on, and tacitly carried on enjoying the advantaged lifestyle which she was afforded in the marriage.