Mohammed Al Fayed.

Yes if attacked but agreeing to Physical internal examinations?

MissInterpreted

Wow, I really don't know what to say to that, Oreo. You do realise that many people who have been sexually harassed or abused simply freeze and can't react at all at the time? Believe me, I thought I'd be the first people to scream, shout or slap the person who assaulted me, but I completely froze, despite being surrounded by other people. I couldn't move, couldn't do a thing - and to this day, I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself for reacting that way, even though I now know it's a very common way for the body to react. You may think you know how you'd react in such a situation, but when it actually happens, it can be a very different story.

It did happen and I slapped his face and walked out thank you very much.
It did happen to women all the time and I bet it still does tho not on such a scale as it used to.
Nobody has to put up with it and are free to leave the job.

Anniebach

Yes if attacked but agreeing to Physical internal examinations?

I can’t for the life of me see why anyone would have agreed to an intimate examination to work at Harrods or for Al Fayed.

Oreo

Anniebach

Yes if attacked but agreeing to Physical internal examinations?

I can’t for the life of me see why anyone would have agreed to an intimate examination to work at Harrods or for Al Fayed.

The answer to that has just been explained by Calendargirl on the previous page.

Hopefully girls can report such abuse these days. To keep quiet empowers the abuser to continue his sordid ways. Women who keep abuse to themselves, sometimes for years, must struggle to ever try to come to terms with what happened to them and begin to heal. It's letting the abuser win.

I still don’t get it, no matter how it’s explained.Just why would you agree?

I had a health check when I started work with Glasgow Council in the 1960s. Everyone did. It included all sorts, an x-ray, samples.etc and if I had been asked to undertake an intimate examination then it would have been part and parcel of the process.
Harrods was a big deal once and maybe a job there is still worth having on your CV. Al Fayed was a ridiculously powerful man and some of these girls were very young indeed. The context of the assaults has to be taken into account also. It is a measure of the trauma that these women only felt safe to speak about it after the old creep was dead.

You are a such a black and white thinker Oreo

You say anyone can walk out of a job of course you can’t if your family are relying on your wages or you need to pay the rent to stop being homeless. It is NEVER the abused s fault

Obviously you have had such a blessed life you ve never been in the situation of needing a job so badly that you need to keep your mouth shut tight

I was young and managed to get away from my would be abuser but I never reported it I was much too scared and as a single mum to three children I needed that job badly, never said a word just kept out of his way

Obviously you have a totally closed mind to abuse being the abusers fault and them alone, you really sound like a man in your views

Oreo

MissInterpreted

Wow, I really don't know what to say to that, Oreo. You do realise that many people who have been sexually harassed or abused simply freeze and can't react at all at the time? Believe me, I thought I'd be the first people to scream, shout or slap the person who assaulted me, but I completely froze, despite being surrounded by other people. I couldn't move, couldn't do a thing - and to this day, I feel ashamed and disappointed in myself for reacting that way, even though I now know it's a very common way for the body to react. You may think you know how you'd react in such a situation, but when it actually happens, it can be a very different story.

It did happen and I slapped his face and walked out thank you very much.
It did happen to women all the time and I bet it still does tho not on such a scale as it used to.
Nobody has to put up with it and are free to leave the job.

Well, good for you - but can you even try to understand that not everyone would react in the same way? Like I say, I thought that's what I would do if it ever happened to me - but I froze. Likewise, my first boss was a very powerful man in our industry and quite capable of using his influence to make sure those who crossed him would find it extremely difficult to find another job - and he wasn't nearly as rich or influential as al Fayed. Attitudes like yours just add to the shame women like me feel.

Oh, and well said, BlueBelle!

those poor girls, so disempowered and afraid.. disgusting old man.. goodness knows how his children are feeling now it is all being exposed.

I was a very naive, shy, unworldly 16 year old when I started my first job. I was in awe and terrified of the bosses. I'm not sure what I would have done had I been in the position some of these girls were in.

BlueBelle try and keep personal remarks out of the discussion.

Were the girls 16?
Being a PA I wouldn’t have thought so.Of course it’s awful when wealthy men who head any organisation take liberties and he obvs did do but my point is that you can leave and not put up with it.That’s my personal view of it.

And my point is that not every woman would feel confident or capable enough to do so, depending on her own personal circumstances. Is that so difficult for you to understand?

There were plenty of jobs available in the 80’s, and yeah I do find that working for anyone who abuses you sexually and you staying in the job is difficult to understand.Maybe many of the women coming forward now did immediately leave the store.I can only give my own view of this matter, as we all do on here.

Firstly, may I say that it’s easy to believe that a creep like Fayed would take advantage of young girls, but let’s not kid ourselves that they were all terrified innocents. I have seen ambitious girls in the workplace behaving very suggestively to much older men in management, and in one instance a colleague of mine contributed to ( or maybe even caused) the breakup of the boss’s marriage, so keen was she for promotion. I wonder if some of Fayed’s victims were perhaps well aware of what they were getting into.
So, I won’t join in the vilification of Oreo, as I don’t see her comments as ‘victim shaming’, rather just another take on a situation.

No I'm not sure the girls were 16. Probably not. I was trying to make the point that some bosses can seem very intimidating, especially someone like MF. Who knows what these girls were told.

There is certainly a 16 year old mentioned in the reporting.
37 women now, and references to sex trafficking.
There were other people involved in monitoring these womens movements, I hope there are prosecutions, too late for him of course.

Thanks Daddima I find on forums that posters do tend to jump on bandwagons at times.

I don't see her comments as victim shaming either & I don't understand how it's only come out now he's dead.The number one justification for reporting this is so it doesn't happen to anyone else, but here, although it's ages since Jimmy Saville & "#Me Too" has been around a while, his death seems to have been the trigger for reports to be acted on. Don't get me wrong, I believe he sexually abused some of his employees.

The ages were mostly 19 - 24 but some were 15 and 16. From what I can see it's going to be horrific. The allegations include a number of counts of rape, and sexual abuse of minors.

I'm not vilifying anyone, but's the unwillingness to accept that not every woman reacts in the same way which I genuinely don't understand. I wish I'd reacted differently when I was assaulted and I still feel deep shame to this day that I didn't, which this thread has only reinforced. Unless you were one of those women at the time, then I'm sorry, but you don't know how you would have reacted. You may think you know, but as I've said, that's not always how it plays out at the time.

I hear you, BlueBelle and MissInterpreted.

As for the idea that there were plenty of jobs in the 80s, I dare say that depends on where you lived - there were three million unemployed, and that's without all the young people on pointless job creation 'schemes'.

Harrods is in London, there were plenty of jobs in London at that time, I know as I was there, particularly store jobs or office temps, I did both those jobs.This was London a busy work place not some remote backwater.