This horrific news story was just beyond belief

petal53

As Iam64 commented, this poor little girl will have stunted development in many areas, as a result of her treatment during her formative years. It’s beyond words to describe how we ordinary Gransnetters feel about this, because the behaviour is so abnormal to us, many of us being mothers and grandmothers. I simply can’t find words to express my horror and disgust at what was done to this child. I speak as the grandparent of an adopted grandchild, who was very neglected during his first year of life, but it was nowhere near this bad. And yet we know how the neglect he suffered impacted his development in his early years. Thankfully now he has loving parents, grandparents, and wider family, and he has a good life.
I wish the same for this poor little girl 🙏

I know two brothers who were dreadfully neglected as small children. Left in an almost empty room by themselves, never taken outside, very dirty conditions and never toilet trained so they were either in a filthy condition or wearing unchanged nappies for weeks.

Social services discovered them and they were removed and fostered. They were non verbal and did not know how to play or feed themselves. A lovely couple then adopted them. They went to special school and one is now a delivery driver, married with a son himself. The other lad has more problems but has a partner and does voluntary work.

Their adoptive parents still support them a lot and they take them on holiday and to concerts, shows etc so all in all their lives are good now.

So so sad

Aveline

Is the mother from abroad?

I did wonder. Because in some cultures, a cleft palate would have been seen as very bad Karma and shameful. Perhaps very poor too and little education.

It can happen because the mother involved has some kind of mental illness, or has had a very servere post-natal depression, and because a lot of adults are alone these days, with few or no friends, and because we all seem to be living our lives in the firm conviction that there is 1) no need to try to get to know our neighbours, 2) we have no right to interfere, but should just mind our own business.

Abuse of a child is our business - but it presupposes that the child is known to exist. Has the birth of this unfortunate child even been registered? Why has no health visitor ever poked her head round the door? Did the woman give birth alone, at home, without a midwife? Where is the father of the child?

And like it or not, mental illness is both a reason and an explanation of this kind of behaviour.

Before we rush to assume the mother is sane, which a prison sentence indicates, but bear in mind that some medical officer assessed the woman's mental fitness, but may have misjudged it, let's try to be a little less judgmental and acknowledge that however shocking such treatment of an infant is, it could not have happened in a society were adults cared for each other properly.

I think because this is all the little baby knew she wouldn’t have anything to judge her state by, and it was her norm, it’s horrific to us because we know how it should be but that was her normal so I do firmly believe that at nearly three and given love, care and understanding from now on in, she won’t have a lot of bad memories

I have no memory of anything happening to me as a young child only very brief snapshots of simple incidents.
She will have lots of care and attention from now on and that is very important and what she will remember Her siblings will maybe have more problems because the mother they knew and the life they knew will be taken away for a long time.
Poor little girl and poor siblings

What a strange case. The mother must have been psychiatrically disturbed. Her other children were ok so she did know how to mother them. She fed this little one and kept her alive..goodness knows how she thought it would pan out.

She will! Of that I have no doubt...Q is why? She must be mentally unstable and that's being kind!🤬. I heard the foster parents want to adopt wee girl🙏

Fleurpepper

Aveline

Is the mother from abroad?

I did wonder. Because in some cultures, a cleft palate would have been seen as very bad Karma and shameful. Perhaps very poor too and little education.

I doubt we will be told anything about the family to protect the child's privacy.

The other children have been taken into foster care.
I hope she never gets them back again.

Abuse of a child is our business - but it presupposes that the child is known to exist

I can understand how the birth might have been concealed during Covid and lockdowns. They need never have gone out, no visitors.

I can't understand how the siblings had no clue at all.

Thanks for posting your neglect/adoption/ok connection Primrose. I know of similar life stories. I remember two children grossly neglected, one strapped in a car seat 24/7 till 15 months when children’s services placed them in foster care. The younger child was out of the car seat and peadiatricians fitted callipers to aid attempts to walk. I didn’t see them for a year after they were placed with adoptive parents. I arrived to find no callipers and a football game in the garden. Such happy confident children

Really sorry Primrose that you were in this situation.

A happy ending for those children, at least, Iam64.

The first 3 years of a child's life are so important in their emotional and social development. The damage that woman has done should have seen a life sentence.

I despair that a mother could subject her child to this level of neglect and abuse. The little one may be adopted by her foster carers, which sounds a good option
There are other children about whom it seems no significant concerns were raised as it appears there was no sw involvement. It’s unlikely the other children were totally unaware of the baby in the drawer but whatever the truth, they have been removed from the care of their mother. It’s likely they’re in foster placements rather than with family. These children also need therapeutic placements. So much needed

I brought to mind little Tony Hudgell whose foster mother has done such a wonderful job with Tony and who has fought so hard on his behalf.
He's a lovely little boy.

His birth parents only got ten years. They should have been imprisoned for the rest of their lives.
So should this mother.

I am worried that this awful case is not the only one.
hope no more children are found in theses circumstances, been hidden away for years.

Today I was in a "well known" coffee-serving cafe and witnessed a young mum with a c 3-year old DD and a c 3-month old DS. The little girl was making the boy chuckle like mad, and the mum was later sitting them on her knee and jigging them up and down, with resulting fairly loud laughs and giggles. I was heartened at the sight, remembering my own DDs at that age. Nowadays of course it is not the "done thing" to look for too long at small children so I had to force myself to look uninterested it case it was misinterpreted.

A little later another young mum came in with her tiny baby boy who had just learnt to smile (or maybe he had wind?) and mum was clearly thrilled to bits about it.

Both situations made me feel warm and happy for them all.

That's how children should be treated - as we all know on GN.

Given that this mother who hid her child in such an horrific manner and for so long had other happy, cared-for children, she must have hidden this baby for some mistaken belief that it was the right thing to do. Perhaps a cultural reason if she was from such a society that rejects children with a deformity and maybe keeping the child hidden seemed better to her than showing her in public. I don't know of course. But it is easy for us all to express the view that a 7-year sentence is not enough when we are not that mother, who was otherwise good to her other children.

She has now lost all her children, possibly for ever, and will be suffering because of that. I would hope that with proper counselling she would at least be able to stay in touch with them once she has learnt that her actions were not necessary in the UK, so they at least know that they were loved.

But it is easy for us all to express the view that a 7-year sentence is not enough when we are not that mother, who was otherwise good to her other children.

Surely that is irrelevant when presenting and judging a case.

It's like saying someone murdered his wife but loved his dog so let's give him a shorter sentence.

She has now lost all her children, possibly for ever, and will be suffering because of that. I would hope that with proper counselling she would at least be able to stay in touch with them once she has learnt that her actions were not necessary in the UK, so they at least know that they were loved.
I hope not.

Madmeg

Today I was in a "well known" coffee-serving cafe and witnessed a young mum with a c 3-year old DD and a c 3-month old DS. The little girl was making the boy chuckle like mad, and the mum was later sitting them on her knee and jigging them up and down, with resulting fairly loud laughs and giggles. I was heartened at the sight, remembering my own DDs at that age. Nowadays of course it is not the "done thing" to look for too long at small children so I had to force myself to look uninterested it case it was misinterpreted.

A little later another young mum came in with her tiny baby boy who had just learnt to smile (or maybe he had wind?) and mum was clearly thrilled to bits about it.

Both situations made me feel warm and happy for them all.

That's how children should be treated - as we all know on GN.

Given that this mother who hid her child in such an horrific manner and for so long had other happy, cared-for children, she must have hidden this baby for some mistaken belief that it was the right thing to do. Perhaps a cultural reason if she was from such a society that rejects children with a deformity and maybe keeping the child hidden seemed better to her than showing her in public. I don't know of course. But it is easy for us all to express the view that a 7-year sentence is not enough when we are not that mother, who was otherwise good to her other children.

She has now lost all her children, possibly for ever, and will be suffering because of that. I would hope that with proper counselling she would at least be able to stay in touch with them once she has learnt that her actions were not necessary in the UK, so they at least know that they were loved.

Are you serious 🤦🏼‍♀️ She will never see those children again.

Quite frankly, MadMeg, if that is what you think, you've picked the right name! 🤷🏼‍♀️ There is no excuse for such cruelty regardless of how "good" she was to her other children who, incidentally, were deprived of a relationship with their sibling.

To my critics, I was as horrified as everyone else and as a loving parent (and well-loved child) myself tried to imagine why this otherwise good mother behaved as she did - and could only surmise that she felt she had no choice but to hide her child. In the developed world it is hard - if not impossible - to imagine doing such a thing, but maybe not in other parts of the world. I have no idea (has anyone else?) if this woman was of average intelligence, but if of low intelligence that might have been a factor.

I'm prepared to accept that I may be naive, but I don't think I deserve to be regarded as "mad". Nor do I think comments about dogs is very mature or helpful to anyone. Little in this world is purely black or white.

00knspol why would you think it was China? Have there been numerous other cases of this type of neglect there?

In some cultures having a deformed child is an enormous social stigma so I wonder about the ethnicity of this mother .
It used to be the same in the UK as well .
I recall a cousin ,who was deprived of oxygen at birth -only we weren't allowed to mention it especially to strangers .
My family spoke of her in whispers .
Happily ,
my cousin was well loved and cared for .
I think that physical imperfections were originally considered to be a judgement from God and then people worried that it might be passed on .
Of course , we know better now .

Madmeg

To my critics, I was as horrified as everyone else and as a loving parent (and well-loved child) myself tried to imagine why this otherwise good mother behaved as she did - and could only surmise that she felt she had no choice but to hide her child. In the developed world it is hard - if not impossible - to imagine doing such a thing, but maybe not in other parts of the world. I have no idea (has anyone else?) if this woman was of average intelligence, but if of low intelligence that might have been a factor.

I'm prepared to accept that I may be naive, but I don't think I deserve to be regarded as "mad". Nor do I think comments about dogs is very mature or helpful to anyone. Little in this world is purely black or white.

I suppose Meg, you have tried to show some empathy and understanding. Indeed things are not black and white.