Stolen Babies (BBC Iplayer)

Let's not forget the women who were institutionalised as moral defectives after having illegitimate children. Sadly the majority of them were there for years and couldn't really cope with the outside world when things changed. I met several women like this in the early days of my nursing career.

I was particularly sorry for the schoolgirl whose teacher got her pregnant but was never prosecuted, sacked or anything. All the blame was on her but as she said it was sex without her consent. I call that rape.

He was very lucky and I imagine, carried on his life with no concerns. Makes you wonder what person in authority could blame a schoolgirl over an adult male.

Yes - I watched it. Up to now the concentration has been on the Catholic Church's role in these forced adoptions in Ireland, while so much was going on in this side of the water. So much heartache, so much judgement and so much blaming women when men got off 'blameless'.
Still going on in the world - in places where women who are raped are ostracised by their own families and community. Men, the rapists, are not blamed at all.

There were 2 teenage pregnancies at my school. One girl was 14, another was 16. The 14 year old left suddenly. I saw the 16 year old 10 years later, still with the boy, now her husband. The son was 10, I was only 26 then, just married. My sister in law was 19, fell pregnant, then got married to my husband's brother, but sadly lost that baby. I never told my mother for fear that she would snub them. As a result, my mother didn't cut her off, and she became life long friends with them through me, and a godmother to her third child, my nephew. My mother never knew. She had such a negatove view, it wad better that way. When we hosted Getman students in their teens in the 1990/2000s, they found the high number of teenage mothers in our nearest town shocking. The girl has always carried the blame, since Eve, and that attitude still lives on unfortunately. So wrong.

I was in absolute terror of pregnancy in my girlhood. Suffice to say I was a virgin when I married at 24. Thé Swinging Sixties bypassed our community! I do now regret not sleeping with all the lovely young men I went out with in those days! I was never pressured though of course skated on thin ice a few times! Those poor girls - it’s totally natural and made to seem a sin. Now look at the birthrate!

I remember a couple of girls at my school just disappeared in the late 60s and the rumour was they were pregnant. They didn’t return to school.

I have two friends who were adopted. One has never been
Interested in tracing her birth mother. The other one tried but her birth mother was not interested.

Another friend’s older sister became pregnant at 16 and had her baby at 17. This was late 60s. She was encouraged to marry the young father. Her MIL agreed to help out with childcare so she could study law. She eventually qualified as a solicitor but her marriage fizzled out. She worked hard and became a senior partner in her law firm but never had any more children. Her daughter also had a baby at 16 and then HER daughter was another very young Mum. She became a great grandma before she was 50 I believe.

Stolen babies and he way they were treated was because of the belief by many christians that
all men are conceived and born in sin, a central tenet of Christian theology, emphasizing the universal need for salvation. It serves as a reminder of humanity's fallen state and the profound grace offered through Jesus Christ.

Susie42

Did anyone watch this last night? It was heartbreaking to hear stories of young unmarried mothers who had had their babies taken away for adoption. One lass had been raped by her teacher and had not been believed and he was found not guilty.

Yes , I watched it. I have seen a lot of that sort of thing before particularly in the Magdalene laundries.It's so sad, I'm glad that some of the women were reunited with their children.

I like Long Lost Family and a lot of the participants were forced to give up children.

Doodledog

I don’t know how it helps to get apologies from those who weren’t involved in whatever is being apologised for either, but there were a lot of women who wanted one, and they were in the public gallery when Starmer apologised.

If it helped them, the fact that I don’t understand why is matterless. It took a couple of minutes and cost nothing. How that can be used as yet another way to snipe at Starmer escapes me. Talk about scraping the barrel.

To Doodledog,
Yes I can see that the non-involvement of the Apologiser is an issue and if it neither interests nor consoles those involved then that is their right to feel that way.
For those who wanted the apology then at the very least they got one.
My interest in the apology wasn't really the apologiser (although I remain a Starmer fan) more the apology itself.

I haven’t watched yet but will eventually.
My mother was one of these unmarried mothers; pregnant at 17 and sent to a mother and baby home. I was adopted at six weeks and my birth mother had to physically hand me to my adoptive mother. So cruel.
I had a good childhood but needed to get in touch with my birth mother after having my own children over 30 years ago.
Being adopted in this way has affected my life to this day.

4allweknow

Have only heard snippets of the programme. In early 60s two 16 year old in my neighbourhood had babies. Neither of the babies were taken for adoption. Both raised by young Mum and family. The baby boy was given a name I had never heard given to a boy- Karl. I thought it was Carol! There were obviously some families who didn't feel shame.

Well done those families that had enough love in their hearts to welcome a new life and understanding and forgiveness for their daughters.

Have only heard snippets of the programme. In early 60s two 16 year old in my neighbourhood had babies. Neither of the babies were taken for adoption. Both raised by young Mum and family. The baby boy was given a name I had never heard given to a boy- Karl. I thought it was Carol! There were obviously some families who didn't feel shame.

Watched it when it was broadcast with DH it was so sad and horrific what those girls went through. Even DH was moved and we both said frightening to think this all took place in UK in our lifetime.

NanKate

Yes very moving programme. These young women were treated abysmally.
Why were the unmarried girls always blamed and not the men?

Because it was every decent girl's own responsibility to remain a chaste virgin until she married.

I am not saying I approve of landing women with all the responsiblity, but that was the thinking behind blaming the girl.

To be fair, there were many families who did not approve of their sons "sowing wild oats" and many parents, especially fathers, who disapproved of any grown man who slept with a young girl he either could not or would not marry.

It made me so angry 😠. How cruelly they were treated 😒

I watched.
Starmer’s apology wouldn’t have righted the life stolen from me!
Tragic what people in power do!!!

I would say the same thing to whoever made the apology Doodledog just happened to be Starmer. If some people thought it was helpful then I'm happy for them. For me it was just meaningless publicity courting.

I don’t know how it helps to get apologies from those who weren’t involved in whatever is being apologised for either, but there were a lot of women who wanted one, and they were in the public gallery when Starmer apologised.

If it helped them, the fact that I don’t understand why is matterless. It took a couple of minutes and cost nothing. How that can be used as yet another way to snipe at Starmer escapes me. Talk about scraping the barrel.

Can't agree with you there Labradora Keir Starmer was merely playing to the gallery. How on earth is an apology from people who were in no way concerned going to help bio families. I have a vested interest of course.

I can clearly remember when aged about 14 in c1962 that my friend's sister was pregnant. She subsequently brought her child up at home with her parents and later married another man and had more children.

My mother on hearing about the pregnancy, warned my sister and me about casual sex but added no nice man will want to marry you if you already have an illegitimate child.

I questioned that back then and wondered if I would want to marry such a judgemental man!

I'm not sure whether it was in this documentary or not , because there was a lot of publicity around these " mother and baby" homes a few months ago , but I noticed the case of one particular lady and the timing of her baby being stolen from her and adopted. It was 1966. In 1966 I was 13 and at an all girls Catholic Convent school and having no brothers, in that era, sex and men were right at the outside edges of my conciousness.I realised how deeply was ingrained in me the rejection of any idea of early pregnancy because of the shame attached to it. So that's where it came from.
Naturally I am on the side of these young mothers and the cruelty in separating a young girl, frightened and alone, just having given birth, from her baby literally beggars belief. I don't know how they got over it. Many I presume, didn't.The State apology was one of the last laudable acts of Keir Starmer.

it was awful the way girls were punished. i know i heard of girls being put in asylums for being wayward and promiscuous when in fact it was a case of rape instead. some of these girls were labelled as feeble minded so predators would take advantage of them.
the men were never named or punished for what they did which is wrong. a lot of the men must have a lot of children they did not own up to.
in those days men could also rape their wives as they wished and if it resulted in pregnancy so be it even if that would endanger the life of the woman.
there was a unmarried mums place in the 60s run by nuns at the convent. i am sure that those poor girls suffered

It’s lovely that your friends family were so caring but ssad that her mum felt the stigma all her life.

When I was ar primary school in the ‘50s, I had a friend who lived with her mother and grandparents. She said,when asked where her father was,that he had been killed in the war. No one questioned this I think.

I lost touch with the family but learnt about 15 years ago that my friend from primary school had died. I wrote to her mother who I knew still lived in the same house and she invited me to visit her when I was next in the city visiting my parents.

My husband and I did so and she obviously wanted to talk about J my friend. She said that she had never shared the information about J’s father with anyone but wanted us to know that he was the farmer on whose farm she was working in the war as part of the Land Army.

She said that when she told her parents in 1945 and asked where she should go,her father immediately said where else should she go but home to them.

She did so and J was a much loved granddaughter. Her mother died in her late 80s several years ago and told us that she felt she carried society’s stigma of being an unmarried mother all her life. Although she was a regular church goer,she always felt that she was not entitled to go to church on othering Sunday or join the Mothers’s Union.

Cossy Well done for caring