Safer Internet Day webchat

drivinginthefastlane

Hi Caroline. What worries me about my GCs is their digital footprint. They're completely oblivious they're logging their whole life on Facebook for all to see! How can I educate them without sounding pushy?

Hi, thanks for your question! It's important to remind your GC about the longevity of content that they post online. It's very difficult to eradicate a digital footprint and what a lot of young people don't realise is that they are never anonymous when it comes to their online behaviour! Remind them that when they put something on the internet, it's out of their control. If they decide 3 seconds after they post it that they want to take it down, during those 3 seconds anyone anywhere could have copied and pasted that content, kept it for themselves and could put it online wherever they want! Encourage your GC to search their name online, they might be interested to see what comes up... It's common practice for future employers to search prospective employees to see what additional information they can find.

Point them in the direction of our guide, about how to protect their online reputation:

www.childnet.com/young-people/secondary/hot-topics/online-reputation

When we visit school's all over the UK, we tell the young people that, 'if they wouldn't want their granny to see that photograph they posted on Facebook at the weekend, then maybe it shouldn't be on the internet in the first place...'

I hope that helps and good luck!

Peaches

Hi there. I find it difficult to keep an eye on what my teenage GS visits online while at my house. Mainly because he's a lot quicker and knows what he's doing. I have no idea what he's doing half the time!

Do you have any tips on restricting certain websites like chat rooms etc when my GS knows more about how to use the computer than I do!

Hi Peaches, thanks for your question. There are filters available to you which can block your GS from accessing certain websites if you are worried. Depending on which device you are using (a tablet or PC or laptop etc) will depend on what type of parental control you will need to install onto the device. It's also a good idea to talk to your GS about what he's doing online. If you know there is a service he loves, and you have no idea about it, why don't you ask him? Young people love to play teacher too, and I'm sure you can have some fun if he were to teach you about a new service!

We know these conversations can be difficult to have, so take a look at our conversation starters for Grandparents where you will find some ideas about how to get those conversations going. Good Luck!

LottieSparkle

I use Skype a lot and think it's marvellous but every now and again I worry that someone else could contact them through Skype.

Am I wrong to encourage them to use an online chat service?
Should I be more cautious and return to phonecalls???

Thank you

Hi LottieSparkle, I agree! Skype is wonderful, isn't it? You are absolutely not in the wrong to encourage children to use an online chat service. What is important is that they are sufficiently educated about the risks that come with using these services. Firstly, on Skype make sure your children are only adding contacts to their Skype contacts of people that they know. If a stranger contacts them on Skype, make sure they ignore them as a contact and can block and/or delete them. Once they have finished using a service like Skype, remind them to always log out. It's important also to talk about the dangers of any online chatting service, and make sure your children have someone they can turn to (a trusted adult) if anything happens to them online that worries or upsets them.

For Safer Internet Day (which is tomorrow!), the UK Safer Internet Centre is running a SIDTV where the programme will be streamed live tomorrow. There's a special slot for grandparents, where there will be industry members answering questions and delivering general advice about online safety and particularly around this year's theme which is 'Let's create a better internet together!' Why don't you tune in tomorrow where you can catch this slot twice, once 3 - 4pm and the second time 7 - 8pm.

CuriousCat

Tips and advice for cyberbullying? For victims and bullies...

Hi CuriousCat, cyberbullying can be really upsetting - especially since a lot of the time the person who is being bullied doesn't know who is bullying them! I always advise young people, teachers and parents/carers to save the evidence, tell someone they trust what has happened and to make sure they know how to report the bully on the services they're using. They can block someone online, delete them from their contact list and also report them. Telling an adult is a universal piece of advice for both victim and bully. A lot of the time the bully is also crying out for help, so make sure they have enough support available and that they too are educated on the effects cyberbullying can have on anyone involved. Thanks for your question!

Brie

Hello Caroline. Can you give advice on how to maintain the balance between allowing children to be tech savvy and keeping them safe on the internet? Is it wrong to deny a child a games console?

Hello Brie, another good question! At Childnet, our main message is to make the internet a great and safe place for young people. I go into schools daily, and am constantly speaking to young people about how to be safe online. At Childnet, we take a very balanced approach to the work we do. We know how much young people love to use the internet, so during our education work we harness a young person's enthusiasm to the internet, and at the same time we safeguard them against some of the dangers online. The internet is a wonderful place, with so many different opportunities. I would worry that if you were to deny access to something that a young person enjoys, it would just make them do anything they could to gain access to it! Instead, talk to your child about the positive aspects of the internet and at the same time educate them on the dangers and make sure they feel comfortable to come to you or an adult they trust if anything worries them online. Also make sure they are aware of the ratings on games so that they are only playing games that are appropriate for their age group. Good Luck!

JodieSmith

Hello. Do you think children have a right to anonymity on the internet or do you think it's too difficult to control for this generation?
I've asked family members to take down pictures of my children so they can have a fair chance growing up without having their life documented on Facebook and the like. Is it unrealistic to think this can be maintained? How else can I manage my children's rights to privacy and anonymity?

Hi JodieSmith, what an interesting question! My colleagues at Childnet are constantly having this debate. You're right to ask family members to take down photos of your children and asking them is definitely the right thing to do. Sometimes this issue merely comes down to old fashioned manners! If you're taking a photograph of anyone, young or old, it's always a good idea to ask their permission before you post it on the internet. We can be in control of the content we post about ourselves, but it gets a little trickier when it comes to others posting content about us. In terms of children and young people, if you instil the idea of 'asking permission before you post' hopefully the children themselves can be more in control of their generation and their own digital footprint. Make sure your children are also aware of the privacy settings available to them when using social networks.

If you are really concerned about a photograph that has been posted of your child, always tell the person who has posted it to take it down, but you can also report the photo if you need to, to the service it's been posted on.

For Safer Internet Day, we have created our very own Safer Internet Day Quiz, www.saferinternet.org.uk/safer-internet-day/2014/quiz which gives you some useful advice about your query. Why don't you challenge some of your family members?!

Agus

I have the same concerns as Jingle re my 8yr old grandaughter now having access to You Tube. Parental controls are in place but I would appreciate any information you may give that we have possibly missed. Thank you

Hi Agus, I hope my response to Jingle helped you. Some additional advice for you, is that you can set up parental controls through YouTube by turning the parental controls 'on'. You can also create different accounts for children to use that can be switched to a safe mode. As I said to Jingle, please do also talk to your grandchildren about what content they could come across on the internet and make sure they know they can come to you if anything worries them online. Have a look at our conversation starters for Grandparents too.

iMac

Hi Caroline. I'm concerned about websites like Pipl that track accounts that link to your email address - i.e. Facebook accounts, Twitter, Amazon wish lists! Is there any way to withdraw your own information from sites like these?

Hi iMac, thanks for your question! In terms of websites like Pipl, I would recommend that you regularly search your name online. I tend to do this every few months or so, just to see what comes up about me. Most of the time it's nothing, but it will give you peace of mind. It's also a good idea to be weary of when you're using websites like Twitter and Amazon, that you familiarise yourself with the tools available to protect your personal information online. For example, you can opt to have a private account on Twitter and I would recommend you use the privacy settings on Facebook and other social networking sites. In terms of wish lists on Amazon, there is an option to privatise them. Amazon can publicise your wish lists (sometimes as a default), so it might be an idea to go back to your Amazon account and privatise these if you don't want them public. Hope this helps!

TheGingerbreadMan

Is it possible to delete a Facebook page and its contents entirely? My friend's daughter tried to do this but the option they give is to deactivate it, but as soon as you sign in again with your password, everything is you she left it.

Hi, it is possible to delete a Facebook page and its contents entirely. There is also a deactivate tool which means that when you log back onto Facebook after you've deactivated it, you can still see your content and you do have the chance to re-activate it. This tool is available in case you change your mind and want to come back to Facebook and this is probably what your friend's daughter tried to do. However, you can also permanently delete your account by following these simple steps. If you go to the 'cog' on the right hand side, go to the Help section, type in the words 'How do I permanently delete my account' and follow the link 'Submit your request here'. Your Facebook account will be deactivated then for 14 days and after that time it will be deleted if you don't use it.
There's lots more information here if you need it, at Facebook's Safety Centre:
https://www.facebook.com/safety
Thanks for your question!

jinglbellsfrocks

Hello Caroline. I gave my grandson a Nexus 7 for his eighth birthday. He was, of course, delighted as he is very into technology. But, he has discovered You Tube and whilst, so far, it has been mostly Star Wars stuff he is looking at, I worry that he may latch onto something really not suitable. His dad did put parental controls on the Nexus. Will that cover unsuitable You Tube videos? Thank you.

Hi, thanks for your question. Your grandson's Dad did the right thing by putting parental controls onto his Nexus 7. There is also additional filtering his Dad can activate in the house through his Internet Service Provider (ISP). This means that all devices connected to the home's wifi will be protected by filters, which is a good idea! However, no filter is 100% foolproof unfortunately. It's always useful for you and your grandson's Dad to talk to him about what's right and wrong online. Explain that there may be content online that could upset a young person or that could be inappropriate for him to look at. Always let him know that he can come to you or an adult he trusts if anything worries him online. Have a look at our conversation starters for Grandparents, these can be found on the Gransnet website. Some good ideas about how to get those conversations started about some potentially tricky things online. Hope that helps!