Esther Rantzen webchat 17 December

Falconbird

Hi Esther,

I nursed my husband through cancer from which he passed away. I worry about being ill and alone without that one special person to care for me.

I absolutely understand. We all need someone special in our lives. But if you can have fun, maybe that will do something to tackle your worry. I think everyone should have fun, but I am horrified how many older people tell me they think fun is only for young people!

Gracesgran

Hi Esther

From what I have read the need for the "Silver Line" surprised many people. How are things going with it now?

Terrific. We only need three things. More awareness among older people, especially isolated older people, more volunteers (you can do it from your own home, an hour a week, see our website for more details) and the funds to pay for the phone calls. But we are loving the huge number of conversations we have, around a thousand a day, and 1100 people are having regular calls from our volunteer Silver Line Friends.

Liz46

Hi Esther

I don't have a question but would like to congratulate you on your achievements. You have shown great courage in starting your projects and I am sure you have done more good work than any politician.

Aaaaaah! You've made my day!

suliza

I work for silverline and can see the benefits that the telephone befriending service does. it works both ways, for the person who phones and the person who answers the phone. long may it continue

Thank you so much!

Marmight

Esther. You downsized fairly recently, a huge decision to make. Are there benefits? I am in a quandary; whether to sell up the family home of 34 years which can accommodate all my far flung family when required, but which I rattle around in most of the time but which holds so many memories, or to buy something smaller and if so - here where I have friends or nearer (500 miles,12,000 miles!) my daughters where I would have to make a new life. Did you and your husband discuss this before he died. I so wish we had, but it's something you don't do, thinking you have years of life together ahead of you.......
Congratulations on all your good work - you are amazing

I really recommend down-sizing! My house grew far too big for me, I'm now in a snug flat in "little-old-land" where somebody else mends the roof and looks after the drains. But it's like childbirth - the process is painful, the end product is worth it. And yes, I did talk about it to my husband, but his idea of downsizing was to buy something twice the size. He always did think big. Beware of moving somewhere where you have no links - I talked to a Silver Line caller whose family then moved again, so he was utterly alone. But I have no regrets about down-sizing, de-cluttering means that the things i really love are still with me, but where I can see them every day.

alice1951

My question is...how do you do it! You have had such a varied and busy professional life and great successes, how have you fit it all in and have you had to make sacrifices along the way?

If you ask my family they will say yes, I have had to make sacrifices, mainly the things they want me to do, but my new grandson is now my priority so he's in charge. If you ask me, I'm mad.

soontobe

Hi Esther.
I dont know if it is just me, but I had never heard of Silverline until I came onto this forum.
Do you have plans, or do you think you need plans, to make it more widely heard about?

Ask Gransnet to publicize it, all the time, and the fact that it's free, confidential, open 24/7. Why not ask them to put the number 0800 4 70 80 90 on every page?

Maniac

Esther -I so admire the work you have done with Childline and now Silverline

Now in my 80s I live alone - am denied contact with my only grandson.
Tea parties for pensioners don't appeal to me .I would like to talk to teenagers. Are there ways that I/we can make links with youngsters .Maybe some of them do not have grandparents nearby.

I heard of a senior school where computer classes for older people are mentored by older pupils.
When my daughter was a Girl Guide one of her badges involved visiting an elderly lady for several months.
Do you have any thoughts on fostering the links between the generations?

Why not mention that to The Silver Line - we do have young Silver Line Friends. Jane Jackson runs an excellent Grandparents' Support Group, I've often talked about this with her, and the idea of making Virtual Grandparents, or Cloud Grandparents. I certainly think the generations can have loads of fun together, I did with my grandmother, and I do approve of fun (see above)

papaoscar

Esther. Happy Christmas! Here's my question - from your extensive experience, what are the principal reasons why adults abuse children. It seems such a dreadful thing to do, even for somebody who may have been abused themself.

Who knows? There are so many theories. I know literally dozens of survivors of abuse who would never dream of hurting a child, and I find that theory horribly insulting to people who have enough to deal with, without that. But I do wonder about someone like Savile, or indeed about members of a family who abuse children. I try to hate the sin, not the sinner, but I don't always succeed.

brightonrock

Hello Esther, apart from Childline and the silver line, which I assume rank very highly - what has been the most fulfilling part of your career. we used to love 'heap of the week' when you did that's life

Blimey, that's a difficult question. I liked all the That's Life! campaign, like for safer playgrounds, and seat-belts and so on, and all our talented pets, and a contest we ran for The Worst Singing Granny (I would win that easily now), but the two programmes that stick in my mind were one about Sir Nicholas Winton who saved a generation of Czech Jewish children from the holocaust, and Children of Courage which was part of Children in Need.

NanRex

Esther,

You spoke a few years ago about how sad it was to become a single grandparent. I am about to become one too, so any advice you have on how to cope with it would be much appreciated. THank you.

Keep your partner's memory alive, my children always talk about my late husband Desmond, and enjoy your grandchild. You will see your partner in him or her, I'm sure. My Benji reminds me of Desi all the time.

joannapiano

Hello Esther,
Many congratulations on the sterling work done by Childline.
On a personal note, I believe one of your daughters was very poorly during her teenage years, and I wondered how she was doing now?

She had M.E. but she found The Lightning Process (you'll find it on the internet) very effective. Now she's training as a Social Worker, and although she gets quite tired, most Social Workers do, I think! She got a very good first degree in Psychology (excuse my boasting) so I think she's done really well.

squirrel

Hello Esther,

Just wanted to add that I too feel that Childline is doing some wonderful work with children, and I wonder if you talk more about what your goals are with Silverline? Both groups can be very vulnerable, and I have been quite excited about Silverline as it introduced what I feel is a necessary service.

Our goal is to provide whatever our callers need from us. So if they want to say goodnight to someone we will be happy to say goodnight, but we don't just stop there, we talk a bit about the day just gone or anything else people feel like talking about. Or if callers want information or advice we either give it, (if it's straightforward) or we find an expert who knows. And we also try to link people with projects in their community, if they like that idea, and we ask if they would like regular weekly chats with our Silver Line Friends, and we try to match them up with someone they get on with. But we do need more volunteers, we have a waiting list of around 1,000 callers waiting to be matched. And if we are told about abuse or neglect, we have a partnership with Action on Elder Abuse, and can ask of their help, if our callers want us to. So our general goal is to break down the isolation that can make older people's lives very unhappy. And to make sure that everyone has access to Fun (Whoops! I'm beginning to repeat myself. Could that be another sign of age?)

carbolic

I would like to ask what specifically prompted you to set up childline and whether you are still involved?

And also what gave you the idea for the silverline?

ChildLine was prompted by the combination of one of those tragic cases of a baby dying, and a helpline we then set up after one edition of That's Life! In 48 hours before it closed the helpline was jammed with around 100 children talking about the abuse they were suffering, which they hadn't told anyone else. And The Silver Line because I had so many letters after I wrote in The Daily Mail about my own feelings of loneliness, and some readers told me I was "brave to be so honest". There is a stigma attached to admitting your are lonely, a friend of mine said "how could you write like that, Esther, haven't you got too much pride?" I knew that an anonymous helpline can break through that kind of stigma, because ChildLine has done that for abused or neglected children who couldn't ask for help any other way. Yes, I am very involved with both.

meemaa

I used to love That's Life and think it's a great shame there is nothing like it on television any more. Do you think it could ever make a comeback?

Who knows? Tv executives have an Iron Whim. Who know Come Dancing would Come Back with a new twist, and take over the world?

Lily56

Hi Esther, Not all grans have forgotten how to have fun i've just almost given myself a heart attack dancing around to xmas songs with the grandchildren, 5 and 7. What silly things do you like to do with yours and do you find that you're somewhat limited by what the body will allow (like I seem to be!)?

Hammering with a toy plastic hammer. Dancing to Dumb Ways to Die (his favourite song - I recommend it odd though it sounds!) Squash into his rather small tent. It's all risky but fun.

MissMaybel

Do you have any advice about approaching someone that you think might benefit from calling Silverline?

Can you say (truthfully) that you've been having a chat with that Esther Rantzen and she said she is really keen to know what people think of The Silver Line as it's only just a year old, so if she rings 0800 4 70 80 90 and lets you know if she likes it or not, and then you can pass her thoughts on to me. That would be very kind. we do always want to know ways we can improve The Silver Line. xxxx

Bother. Time has beaten me. Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year filled with Fun!
Much love,
Esther (Granny Etta)