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(71 Posts)
jeanrobinson Mon 07-Sep-20 09:55:12

I am Very Old, and in my day you didn't have sex until at least you had an engagement ring on your finger (many brides were pregnant on the wedding day). Now that men can get sex easily, I wonder if life has really improved for women.

Sara1954 Thu 14-Jan-21 10:52:16

That’s not to say that was the end of it all, but I think I’d have liked to try out a few more, before choosing!

MBHP1 Thu 14-Jan-21 11:06:31

Female contraception and second wave feminism made it possible for women to explore their sexual personality which I think is a good thing for everyone.
My concerns are about pornography, prostitution and trafficking. By far it is women and children who are used/sold as sexual abuse commodities. I agree with the ‘Nordic model’ (find in your search engine) and would like to see all governments make laws that reflect it.

MBHP1 Thu 14-Jan-21 11:09:23

I would like to have added to the Forum list a ‘Feminism’ Forum...anyone else?

Galaxy Thu 14-Jan-21 11:10:38

Yes I think pornography is of real concern, in the way ot seems to be affecting both men and women.

BlueBelle Thu 14-Jan-21 11:13:52

I must have been before my time but I lived with my first husband for a year before getting married that was early 60 s didn’t stop me making the wrong choice although I don’t regret it because it gave me three children who I love to bits ??

Sara1954 Thu 14-Jan-21 11:18:41

MBHP1
I think that no matter how much equality there is now when it comes to sex between consenting adults. Girls and women are almost always the victims when it comes to trafficking, prostitution, and sexual abuse.
So depressing to think we’ve actually seemed to go backwards, despite feminism and so called Girl Power.

Tangerine Thu 14-Jan-21 11:24:18

I think it varies from person to person. These days I think there is a lot of pressure on young girls to have sex before they are ready.

Sara1954 Thu 14-Jan-21 11:29:37

I wish I had my time again, I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to, and I’d make sure I had a lot more fun

Grammaretto Thu 14-Jan-21 11:53:07

No regrets Sara1954. You can still have fun!

Oh mamaa you made me laugh. I was told that joke (possibly by my mother) about 2 minutes pleasure for a lifetime of regret. "How do you make it last that long? " was the catchline.

My DM talked to us girls about sex it made us squirm because her own DM had kept her in total ignorance. DF had taught her all he knew and that wasn't all that much.
After he died, she had a few "dancing partners"

I didn't talk to our sons about relationships or about sex.
I remember one DS was devastated after being dumped. I tried to empathise but was told No mum you have no idea how it feels!

Gwyneth Thu 14-Jan-21 11:54:22

I agree Tangerine I do think that girls are under more pressure to have sex these days. A couple of years ago the local authority sexual health people came in to talk to our year 10 girls (aged 15) about sexual health, contraception what action to take if you think you are pregnant. Not once did they mention that at 15 the girls are actually under age or talk about the traumatic effects of under age pregnancy. In fact I was left feeling that the message from these sexual health providers was to actively encourage under age sex even when the young person was not emotionally equipped to deal with the consequences. I did suggest to the providers afterwards that as well as providing information on contraception and sexually transmitted diseases they might point out that young girls should not feel pressurised to have sex when they were not ready. The reaction from them was we’re only here to talk about contraception.

kircubbin2000 Thu 14-Jan-21 12:47:49

I remember how innocent some of those young boys were. In the 60s when we hitched hiked round Europe aged about 19 we had many encounters with foreign boys in each country.It usually involved a few kisses, that was about it, even with 2 that I was forced to sleep beside when I got locked out of the hostel.

Shinamae Thu 14-Jan-21 12:51:42

Don’t like it, never have, all that huffing and puffing and mess yuck...?

Sara1954 Thu 14-Jan-21 12:55:15

Grammaretto
Well I guess I could, but I don’t think the opportunities will be therefor a granny of a certain age, and I don’t think I’m as flexible as I was at nineteen

Msida Mon 14-Jun-21 18:46:50

If you would rather have a G&T you are with the wrong man ?

Oliviaolalal322 Wed 20-Apr-22 10:56:27

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Grandmabatty Wed 20-Apr-22 10:57:56

Reported

Pepper59 Wed 20-Apr-22 12:57:52

Do you think though, the more sex has become freely available, the less incentive there is to settle down and commit to one person? One thing that disturbs me, is the amount of men who have multiple children in various relationships/ marriages, but who then seem happy enough to move on to the next woman. Before anyone criticises. I knew a few like this, mainly at work. One had 3 children to 3 different women and I doubt he would know what his children looked like. I also knew another who married 4 times, I used to think he must like the taste of wedding cake.

Single45guy Tue 26-Apr-22 11:39:48

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GagaJo Tue 26-Apr-22 13:35:57

Pepper59

Do you think though, the more sex has become freely available, the less incentive there is to settle down and commit to one person? One thing that disturbs me, is the amount of men who have multiple children in various relationships/ marriages, but who then seem happy enough to move on to the next woman. Before anyone criticises. I knew a few like this, mainly at work. One had 3 children to 3 different women and I doubt he would know what his children looked like. I also knew another who married 4 times, I used to think he must like the taste of wedding cake.

I think these men always existed. I know a lovely elderly lady whose husband made 2 other women pregnant while he was married to her. Eventually she divorced him, at which point he got together with another woman and impregnated her.

My friend never remarried. I think he put her off for life.

Pepper59 Wed 27-Apr-22 19:35:04

Yes, Gagajo your probably right. Thats awful how he treated your friend.