Horns of a Dilemma

I enjoyed reading all these comments; I was in your position 12 years ago, in my 50,s, also with my mum, who had fallen and broken both wrists....talk about a family crisis! Gave up my job, fortunately have husband to support me. Developed very loving relationship with my 2 grandaughters (and my Mum) along the way.Exhausting, but there have been rich rewards.Good luck Dara!

Glad it has a workable solution dara.

Re family planning 1st baby arrived eventually and pregnancy confirmed on the morning of the day I was to attend the sub-fertility clinic and 2nd baby conceived with IUD in place!! The best laid family plans....

Dara..brilliant, so happy all worked out for you.

Hurray! Good outcome. Went above my manager, who is away until Sept 5th. He agreed I can leave work half an hour earlier two days a week to collect my grand-daughter and then work half an hour longer on two of the other days, plus the fifth one doing my usual morning hours. So I get to keep my job and see my grand daughter twice a week when she will sleep in the afternoon after nursery! Thanks again everyone your support is appreciated. Dara XXX

FlicketyB has a very sound point. I used to have a 'friend' who used to make all sorts of noises about organising herself before she went on holiday....someone to feed cats, someone to water plants etc etc. She usually managed to 'forget' to make the final arrangements and I would be mug enough to do it when she appeared in floods of tears the night before she was due to go away with some long story about everyone else letting her down.
As with all contentious discussions just find your own stand point, repeat it whenever occasion demands and stand firm. All the best.

I just hope this isn't a way of backing you into a corner, talking about visiting nurseries, then backing out, then the day of returning to work draws near, there is a panic and you are asked to take over until something is sorted and then somehow something never is quite sorted. It is called emotional blackmail.

Stand firm, it is not easy but do it. I haven't had to do it with children but I have had to do it over care for the elderly.

If she doesn't want to go back to work, that's not a bad thing. Nowadays it should be lauded, there are so few children being looked after by their own parents.

I would call that major procrastination. Either she doesn't want to go back to work or she doesn't want the baby in a nursery. Cats never need to be looked after. They. Are the most self sufficient animals going. Be very suspicious Dara. It's a nightmare getting a good nursery place.

Thanks everyone. My son asked his wife to check out local nurseries as a priority today. It was agreed I should go with her this afternoon, but when I called her she said I need not bother as she was going to look after a neighbours cats! I would not want to be witness to the conversation my son had with his wife this evening, when he got home from work. Hope she gets on with checking out nurseries soon as the clock is ticking!

Dara that sounds such a good result. Hope all goes well.

oops should have said END !

My planned family went a bit haywire with my second pregnancy , which turned out to be twins , so that ended any more ideas of another child ,
So glad everything turned out well in the Dara !

Birth control, what's that? Our problem was getting, and staying, pregnant!

Ah, yes, planned families! My courageous attempts to plan were foiled when my little brood of two doubled in size to four, with the arrival of twins.

Good news Dara

We'd heard of birth control too Ariadne, that's how we acquired 5 children

gm I was about to ask that question too.

I am so glad for you that this has been resolved and everyone is happy, but slightly wondering why this solution (or something similar) had not been considered in the first place. At the risk of sounding a bit of an Eeyore, I hope they have a Plan B for emergencies, nursery training days etc as your employers seem to have a disappointing attitude.

Glad it's sorted out, Dara, well done you!

Sounds like an ideal arrangement. Congratulations on your calm handling of the situation.

Sounds like an excellent solution to the problem. I think it's great that you and your family were able to sit down and sort things out so satisfactorily.

Thanks Phoenix, so do I but there will other grans-netters with the same circs somewhere, I am sure! Value all opinions here, thanks everyone.

Well, we'd all heard of birth control....

Dara fingers crossed that it all works out.

I had twins so an instant family of four was formed! Very grateful for every comment and support from wise Grans-netters, thank you all. Now its been agreed to put baby into a nursery from where I can pick her up after work around 1.30pm and look after her till Mum gets home. Keep my job, Mum gets to mix with colleagues and work, baby learns about others and everyone is happy! Dara XX

Have they not heard of birth control ? You have to cut your cloth according to the material !!

hmmm

They 'want' another baby!!?? Gosh can distinctly remember the long hours OH and I spent discussing our family. I had a toddler from previous he had a young teenager ditto...we had one between us and then we stopped. It was all about the size of house we could potentially afford....if I wanted to work more....his pension etc etc etc. Whats wrong with planning according to what you can afford AND cope with??

Yes babies have a habit of popping up sometimes when you least expect but I do get cross with people not thinking things through and fully appreciating what they can manage (without presuming Grandmas etc will pick up the slack)

Sorry rant over.