Post work brain fog

howcome I agree with your doctor. I think you are being too hard on yourself. I'm in a similar position to you (although I do work 1 day a week from home) - but I don't care if ironing/cleaning/shopping isn't up to scratch. If anyone says anything, my reply is "Do/buy it yourself next time/in future" or, like when my husband found the cheese in the larder instead of the fridge "Oops".

And I don't worry about losing my marbles (because I know I'm not, I had a full day of visitors on the day the cheese went MIA and I was tired), I'm just getting older.

ITs the lack of a deadline. A time when somethngg has got to be finished. I got more housework done while cooking tea for the children in the hour before they came home from school than now when I have all day.
When you're older you need to pace yourself more. I used to have a cleaner twice a month ( when I had bad back) and now I fix the dates on my kitchen calendar as if she were coming and on that day I do all the tiles, or all the carpets or windows etc Once the deed is done I forget it for 4 weeks.
We are just the two of us and are both clean tidy people.

That is definitely it MargaretX I work to deadlines and now set my own at home.
It does take a while howcome to adjust to a different pace of life, don't forget to do things you enjoy and didn't have time for when you were working. It doesn't have to be anything major, a country walk, a film you want to see, lunch with friends, housework can be fitted in any time now.

I have brain fog
It started at the same time as the dreaded hot flushes

Your family are being a bit hard on you I think. It has maybe made you less confident in yourself. Are there any courses in your area for building self esteem or assertiveness?

My DS took over ironing his own shirts years ago because mine wasn't good enough (I didn't care and my DIL is very grateful to me now as he still does his own).
You sound like someone who needs stimulation in order to function best. You could try something that will make you more relaxed like Tai Chi or mindfulness training. You could volunteer for a charity, running events or fundraisers. You could pretend the house isn't yours, you are a paid cleaner and set yourself certain jobs to do in a restricted time. But you need to stop beating yourself up about things.
Oh and my children would be in deep if they ever told me my cooking was
'going downhill'.

I was made redundant into early retirement at a similar age. I tried to get back to work, but without much success. I found the answer in voluntary work. Thee is more to voluntary work than working in charity shops or helping children to read, and believe me I am not dismissive of this kind of voluntary work, but it was not for me. I have worked for both a charity for the elderly and now a forces charity as a home visitor coping with problems of all kinds including helping with benefit claims, housing problems, fierce dogs and everything else. Deadlines have to be met, clients followed up, that I work along others paid to do this work helps to keep me professional

The other thing I did was return to education. I was fortunate that I have an leisure interest well suited to academic study and I do university continuing education classes which usually require you to complete at least one piece of academic work each term to a deadline.

I so understand how you feel Howcome, as I have written on another thread. It was how I felt and acted when I gave up work after my children were born, with the same comments, although from my sister not my children!!

BY the way, completely ignore what your GP said, he was, to put it politely, talking through his fundament. There is absolutely no need to allow myself to become old aged and stop trying to achieve You can keep doing that forever. I have every intention to live to a good age and die part way through yet another 5 year plan.

What you need to do is completely rethink your life. Employed work may be behind you but there are lots of other worthwhile ways to bring structure and achievement back into your life. What you need to do is break the through the mental rigidity that thinks paid employment is the only answer to your problems and look out for all the other opportunities available.

I think it's more like the lack of structure to your day (MOnica mentioned that.) Now you can get up when you feel like it, do your various home jobs at any time, watch tv when you want etc. Lack of structure is confusing.
Although I don't think your husband and children should have said those things, they could be correct to some extent.
So try some of the suggestions above to create a new routine, and structure to your day. And help you feel a sense of achievement.
You're in a stage of transition from one period of your life to another.

allow myself to become old aged and stop trying to achieve
How patronisingly ageist and possibly sexist!

Possibly you could do with a vitamin supplement or suchlike? Worth a try anyway.
And I agree with those saying to take up some kind of voluntary work, or other activity that interests you.

Housework and cooking clearly doesn't give you enough mental stimulation, so you need to look elsewhere for that and fit the housework around it.

Although I don't jump to 'counselling' as a cure-all, I do think it might help you to think about the solutions suggested above.
Research what kind of counselling might help you - I don't want to make suggestions, but do look around. Remember that the first session is about the counsellor getting to know you, and you finding out how they work and if you think it suits you.

It does sound to me as if you need some focus, and possibly approaching your housework in some of the ways described above.
Most areas have some sort of 'Voluntary Action / Bureau' or similar that will match you to work that is needed.
I also wonder if your 'industry' has any set-ups for doing 'pro-bono' work, teaching or mentoring, but I guess you would alredy know about that.

But the reason I suggest counselling is that it seems to me that you haven't quite worked out how to approach all of this, and fit your current situation with how you see yourself.

I hope you find some of this gets you thinking!

Thanks for your suggestions ladies... I'm still fogged, but I think you may be right in that I need deadlines and a routine to achieve. I've started doing some mindfulness training which seems to be helping a bit with focus.

Sounds like you still have lots to offer, so do try volunteering. There is a huge variety out there. You'd be amazed.