Knowing your skills and interests

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I had to take early retirement after a hip replacement left me with drop-foot. Although I have grandchildren I still wanted to do more. I volunteer for Marie Curie (I'm now the Chair of our local fundraising group) & I also invigilate at exams at a Secondary school which means that not only have I made new friends, I also earn a bit of money.

Yes, I am a bit like this. I would have liked some time on my own before my OH retired but it happened at the same time, four years now. I then had to look after elderly parents and so I feel retirement hasn't really started yet! I think it is just round the corner so need to plan what I want to do. I like my own company, but the problem is that my OH likes it too and so wants to come everywhere with me! It is driving me insane! Yes, we should do some things together but not everything. We spent years running a business until OH ill health forced us to sell it, now I want my time, I lost my own identity at work and I need it back. Good luck.

52bright, there's walking, buses and trains to get you about. Minicabs are handy too. I've never driven so carry on as I always did.

I am very sorry to hear about your husband polnan
A terrible shock for you. I hope you have some real life support. There is usually someone about in the lovely Gransnet community to listen to you and have a chat at most hours of the day if you feel like some support. Best wishes.

My problem since I retired is definitely lack of motivation and also a bit of laziness [fear] about getting from A to B. I am a hopeless driver and never want to drive anywhere new. Dh has loads of interests of his own so isn't available to drive me about and has no inclination to add to the things he already does anyway. That's not the problem ...I don't want to hang onto his coat tails, I want a bit of motivation to do something myself.

I know my skills but wanted to try to learn new ones (upholstery at the moment). I get out with the dog, early in the morning, whenever I can. It sets me up for the day.

Sometimes I do gardening, DIY or housework. On other days I meet up with friends or invite them round. If I'm low on energy, I'm quite happy to read or watch films - why not?

I've found that I can't possibly enjoy doing the same thing two days running, therefore I have lots of projects on the go.

Polnan ?

ooh Harry, bell ringing, dh and I did that some years back, so very enjoyable.. wish more churches still had bells to ring

but then there are handbells?

and choirs... choirs,, join a choir,, don`t say you can`t sing, everyone can.. and the right choir will teach also.. and social life..

Volunteer at your nearest National Trust house. Meet new friends, become an expert on the house, have extra social events. learn something new, have fun. Have a great time.

Anniezzzz09 gives a good way to start off with. Perhaps the change in daylight has affected you too. Do you have a Men's shed near you? Lots of activities go on in such organisations and you can often learn a new skill too.

Polnan you are clearly still in shock, which is inevitable when someone eexpected to recover suddenly dies, regardless of age. You are at the start of a long journey to a very different life. but you will come through bloodied but unbowed

Harry, sit down and think about the skills you had at work. You may be a dab hand with computers, a very good organiser, good at managing people. What did you hate about work? When you came home from work, what did you do? Sit in front of the tv and do absolutely nothing else? Somehow I doubt it. Use the things you did , pottering around the garden, doing house repairs, whatever as a lead into things to do.

Have you heard of the _Men's Shed movement? menssheds.org.uk/ , It is an opportunity to socialise with other men in a purposeful way. The name tells you what they are meant to be like.

I mean this is nice way but Harry I’m glad it’s not just me
What makes it worse is I live on my own. My children have their own families now and to quote you , I feel lost. Can I please ask, what kind of volunteering you guys have been doing?
Reason I ask is, I’ve been looking but I’m not sure what kind of work to do ?
Thanks in advance Eve

If you are fit and well there is lots to do for retirees. Have you got a local church, leisure centre, college (adult education classes), swimming pool, community centre? Once you decide to join a group the first class is the hardest, but I have found everyone very friendly and there are plenty of over 50's some divorced, widowed or single. The main thing is to get out of the house, talk to people and keep busy, and enjoy life. You have to make the effort. No one is going to come knocking on the door.

Harry1960, I reckon Patticake123 has it sussed perfectly. It's a bit of a weird time of year too with damp, dark mornings and afternoons and sometimes it feels like all your get up and go - has gone! When you least expect it something will come along that makes you feel useful and happy. Had you considered an allotment, men's choir, bell ringing, dog walking for a rescue, researching family tree, writing, painting, pottery, glasswork?. After I retired I felt useless, on the scrapheap. I'd done 25yrs of volunteering but once I reached a certain age had to shift into the 'retired' section and fundraise for the younger active members, I loathed it. Hang in there.

Big hugs Polnan

Very sorry to hear about your husband polnan. Im the same age as you and dread that day, for either of us.
As for Harry's problem, I agree with the poster who said try to find voluntary work, even if just a few hours, so that you have a structure to your day, a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
I retired at 55 and was fortunate to find several voluntary jobs related to my previous job. Which I had loved.

Harry1960 I had a complete change on retirement, I have loved reading and books all my life so I volunteer in a small library. Take time out to enjoy yourself too, even simple things you didn't have time for when you were working. Go for a walk, visit local places of interest, meet up with friends for a drink or meal. Enjoy just having time for you.

So sorry polnan that must have been such a shock for you. I hope you have people around to help. Take things steadily, one day at a time. Wishing you peace and comfort

Since retiring I’ve been away a lot, working thro my bucket list of places to visit. I make patchwork throws, sell some at Craft Fairs but also give lots to Charity shops. I also do exam Invigilation now and again, that gives me a little spending money, plus you can pick and choose what days you work as you are employed on a casual basis.

All the activities and organisations already suggested are good. U3A, volunteer, help in a school, swim, exercise classes. Many are free for OAPs. Also what about getting a dog? Dog rescue charities have lovely dogs needing a forever home and a dog is someone to love and an exercise buddy. You simply have to go out, rain or shine, sleet or sun if the dog needs to go and they love you and you love them. And best of all you meet people. Other dog owners in the park are there the same times and often you have things in common if they are retired too. Or they might be young and that's fun to chat to too.This is if you are well enough to walk a dog daily, The amount varies with the dog and a charity will try to match you to a suitable pet. It does tie you down though. No long cruises unless they take dogs.

Hi Harry, it’s not as easy as you imagine it’s going to be is it! I’m 9 years in and after a shaky start I absolutely love it. I began by volunteering but loathed that, then I joined numerous activities. Walking groups, writing group, the gym, cookery class, choir U3a ....I could go on. I gave each new venture a few months to see if it was for me and maintained those I enjoyed and dropped the others. I’ve now got a routine of different things and I’ve made lots of new friends. Don’t despair, it will become easier as you begin to relax into it and get used to managing your own time and stop feeling guilty for doing absolutely nothing!

Hi Harry, I retired fully 3 years ago at the age of 76, but my main problem is not finding things to keep me occupied - I am full time carer to my husband, I also have an allotment and general housekeeping duties, etc.- but the lack of money coming in and having to watch every penny and how we spend it. However, I am enjoying not having the early morning starts in the cold/frosty/snowy weather and the commute home. I love my allotment which provides not only my exercise, but an escape if you like. Take care and make the most of your free time, it will soon fill up!!

So sorry, Polnan. You must be devastated. You will pull through but it takes time. When you feel ready, join U3A as someone has suggested. There are many people here in the same position, and many different interest groups. Harry 1960 you could do the same. Skills and interests are interchangeable, and we all help each other.

Polnan, so sorry for your loss. Hope your friends and family can help you though this very hard time. HettyMaud you are doing something useful by looking after your elderly parent.

i threw myself into my crafting, painting ect, im a proff photographer so get out when i cam with camera, i also volunteered at the local rspca, iv thrown myself into writing (used to write for local paper) and im also getting each room in my home decorated, by me, and decluttered, i try to find something to do each day, if i dont get it done, due to ill health etc, then i dont give myself a hard time, i just take it easy.