Knowing your skills and interests

Did you enjoy your work before you retired? Were you good at it? If so I'm sure you can find a link to using your experience and skills in the voluntary sector.
You might even be able to earn a little to boost your pension.

Volunteering worked for me.

It's a difficult moment Harry. Here's an article I once read that set out a lot of ideas about getting to grips with retirement, the comments are worth reading too.

How to retire successfully: 'You need to ask what you want out of life'

www.theguardian.com/2017/mar/06/how-to-retire-successfully-you-need-to-ask-what-you-want-out-of-life?

It's not so much what skills and interests you have as what makes you feel happy and inspired. Simple list making is often a start, 6 things I've always wanted to do but never been able vs 6 things I'm glad to see the back of. You can develop a skill in life but it was a means to an end, work, it may be that you never want to use it again. Take your time, talk to people, read, try things, aim for a feeling of enjoyment in life. Good luck.

Volunteering has been my absolute saviour

I'm in the same boat but perhaps under different circumstances. I'm retired and love not having the constant stress of trying to keep 100 plates spinning. There's a lot I've been wanting to do or try but, so far, I've only gotten as far as getting some things fixed up around the house. I retired early at 63 because I wanted to spend more time with my dad and he just suddenly passed so I'm very glad that I didn't wait until I turned 65 this year and that I got to spend the time with him.

Now that he's gone I find I'm dealing more with a bit of depression and lack of motivation. I'm alone, divorced for 20 years, and my kids are all off on their own. I seem to be fighting a "what's the point" mentality which I don't like feeling. Lately, I've been telling myself to get just ONE thing done or started each day. I have a dozen great friends but they are scattered all over with no one close by, so I probably use the laptop too much to connect to the "outside" world - reading, watching animal videos, checking out Gransnet, etc.

Sorry to hear you’ve lost your dad gmarie don’t be too hard on yourself with the motivation or lack of at the moment - I’m sure it will come back soon.

Your idea of getting one thing done each day is a good one, no matter how trivial it is the sense of achievement you’ll have that evening will spur you on the following days. By the end of the week things will look better on reflection and help you to make plans for the future. Best wishes x

Keep busy to stave off depression.
Make sure you have something to get up for.
There are volunteer websites where you can fill in online questionnaires to remind you where your skills and interests lie.
A friend who felt like you, found a new interest helping with a canal boat charity. They take parties of disadvantaged youngsters on the canal boat. He loves it.

Try to have something to do from Monday-Friday so you keep the weekend special. Book a holiday for next year so you have something to look forward to.
I'm sure you'll have been told about U3A. Could you set up and run a group for them? That takes planning and organising.

I feel the same. My life seems to be constant cooking/housework and looking after elderly parent. I’d like to be doing something purposeful but what? DD says only I can decide. Have lost my oomph these past few years. Not very helpful I realise, OP. But just to let you know you’re not the only one.

Its such a huge transition isn’t it. And one I will be going through soon as well. I do wish society gave it as much attention as other life changes. I don’t think it’s necessarily easy and what ‘works’ for one person, can be meaningless to the next. For me, no matter what, being out in the fresh air makes me feel a little better. So if you’re feeling lost today, and can manage it at all, I would say go out somewhere, even if it’s for a walk, or maybe to a local park, library, or somewhere for a coffee. Then, maybe expand on that a little each week, and add in something where you can talk to others -a group perhaps-and try out a couple of activities-it doesn’t matter if they turn out not to be for you. Try to plan a little something for each day either by going out, or trying something new at home, and I think when you get in your stride, you will gradually have started to build a life for yourself. Good luck!

me slightly different, had 20 good years retirement with my dh..
he died on Tuesday, in hospital, just as we thought he was getting better and nearly ready to come home... such a shock..
what do I do now? I am 83, and reasonably good health.

struggling

polnan
So sad for you. You know it is going to happen one day but don't expect it when it comes.

So sorry to hear of your sudden loss polnan.Hope you have family or friends to support you.

Oh polnan that’s incredibly sad to hear and must be an awful shock to you.
?

Regards retirement harry1960 I think anniezzz has the right idea here. Find something that makes you happy is key.

I’ve been retired 5y now and feel incredibly lucky that (so far) my husband and myself enjoy good health and need no medication. That’s a bonus in itself, I do realise.

That said, I felt a bit ‘lost’ when I retired at 60y. As if I were playing hookey from work and didn’t really belong in this club of retirees I saw out and about! It didn’t help, so I thought, that I didn’t seem to have hobbies/enjoy crafting/didn’t want to volunteer.

This lack of motivation stuck with me and made me feel guilty. My lightbulb moment? I shared my ‘doing nothing apart from my love of reading’ with a busy friend who crafts/makes cards/looks after her grandchild one day a week and her answer? ‘Well, are you happy?’

And do you know what? I was! And am!

There’s no need to compare yourself with anybody else. Find within yourself what pleases you, a walk, a class and relax into it.

I wish you well going forward!

Harry1960 is there a leisure centre near you -you might want to try a class.
You have time now to start something completely new - try an evening class or local college.

Sorry to hear your sad news Polnanx

So sorry to hear this harry1960 especially because I felt the same, as has been said by others it has been volunteering that's given me a new lease of life, feeling useful for me was the key as well as having somewhere to go again that was "my thing" this is a really good site if you're interested
do-it.org/
OR there are so many 'social' clubs and the like, you might try your local library as they have lots of information. All the very best!

i threw myself into my crafting, painting ect, im a proff photographer so get out when i cam with camera, i also volunteered at the local rspca, iv thrown myself into writing (used to write for local paper) and im also getting each room in my home decorated, by me, and decluttered, i try to find something to do each day, if i dont get it done, due to ill health etc, then i dont give myself a hard time, i just take it easy.

Polnan, so sorry for your loss. Hope your friends and family can help you though this very hard time. HettyMaud you are doing something useful by looking after your elderly parent.

So sorry, Polnan. You must be devastated. You will pull through but it takes time. When you feel ready, join U3A as someone has suggested. There are many people here in the same position, and many different interest groups. Harry 1960 you could do the same. Skills and interests are interchangeable, and we all help each other.

Hi Harry, I retired fully 3 years ago at the age of 76, but my main problem is not finding things to keep me occupied - I am full time carer to my husband, I also have an allotment and general housekeeping duties, etc.- but the lack of money coming in and having to watch every penny and how we spend it. However, I am enjoying not having the early morning starts in the cold/frosty/snowy weather and the commute home. I love my allotment which provides not only my exercise, but an escape if you like. Take care and make the most of your free time, it will soon fill up!!

Hi Harry, it’s not as easy as you imagine it’s going to be is it! I’m 9 years in and after a shaky start I absolutely love it. I began by volunteering but loathed that, then I joined numerous activities. Walking groups, writing group, the gym, cookery class, choir U3a ....I could go on. I gave each new venture a few months to see if it was for me and maintained those I enjoyed and dropped the others. I’ve now got a routine of different things and I’ve made lots of new friends. Don’t despair, it will become easier as you begin to relax into it and get used to managing your own time and stop feeling guilty for doing absolutely nothing!

All the activities and organisations already suggested are good. U3A, volunteer, help in a school, swim, exercise classes. Many are free for OAPs. Also what about getting a dog? Dog rescue charities have lovely dogs needing a forever home and a dog is someone to love and an exercise buddy. You simply have to go out, rain or shine, sleet or sun if the dog needs to go and they love you and you love them. And best of all you meet people. Other dog owners in the park are there the same times and often you have things in common if they are retired too. Or they might be young and that's fun to chat to too.This is if you are well enough to walk a dog daily, The amount varies with the dog and a charity will try to match you to a suitable pet. It does tie you down though. No long cruises unless they take dogs.

Since retiring I’ve been away a lot, working thro my bucket list of places to visit. I make patchwork throws, sell some at Craft Fairs but also give lots to Charity shops. I also do exam Invigilation now and again, that gives me a little spending money, plus you can pick and choose what days you work as you are employed on a casual basis.

So sorry polnan that must have been such a shock for you. I hope you have people around to help. Take things steadily, one day at a time. Wishing you peace and comfort