When is a favour not a favour.

Grannygrumps1

Tickingbird… that’s exactly what I think. But I’m never quick enough to think that and say it.
I agree with all your comments. But just getting it to move forward easily without losing a friend is my issue.

He's not much of a friend if he takes and takes but doesn't give anything back.

AIBU in thinking people should read the thread BEFORE commenting!

If you are paid in food and able to give so much away you are being paid too much. Tell your neighbour he will need to go collect the food himself, you are reducing the amount you collect in faurness to those who need the food. I am assuming Foodstop is like a foodbank, people in need access the service for food.

You are too kind and you are not doing yourself any favours. Try and find a much needier recipient and tell him next door you are spreading your kindness due to CLC (cost of living crisis).
Surely you don't need his paid help, I would keep quiet and tell no more of your business. Genuine people reward with kindness.

Sago

I would give the food to a food bank.

Yes - me too. If they're giving you more than you need, pass it on to those who need it, not your freeloading neighbour.

This sounds very odd to me. The food is not donated (as far as I understand) for the benefit of the volunteers unless they are in genuine need and I would assume that there must be some sort of checks and balances to make sure that the system is not being abused.
I am not blaming the volunteers but rather those people who have been entrusted with managing the system. They do not have ownership of the food and are in fact expected to manage what must by now be dwindling resources in the fairest way possible.
Do you have a written contract stating that you will be 'paid' in food for volunteering? If so why are you accepting more food than you need? I see that you re-distribute it to neighbours etc. and I guess you think that is fair and honest.
But is it really? You are, to put it harshly, giving away publicly donated food in the hope of cost-free favours when you need to do household repairs etc. There are several 'red flags' popping up around this belief system.
When we read of mothers going without food so that they can feed their children it seems horrifying to think there is some sort of racket taking place so that food which might go to them is being used as a form of black market economy. How many people who buy extra food to donate at the supermarket when they are struggling to make their own money stretch to feed their families but still feel a duty to help others who have even less will now stop and wonder where the food is really going? Will they feel deceived and will those people who really need this help be denied it?

Regardless of where the food comes from, one good turn deserves another. The solution is simple.......stop giving him the food.
I have no doubt there are other people more deserving than your selfish neighbour - I know, if I asked my neighbour to clean my gutter he would accept any payment but would be very grateful for some home baking, fresh veg from the garden etc.

I think that OldWoman70 has hit the nail on the head.

Amelegra- YOUR DAUGHTER needs the free food right now- you dont have to provide for her out of your pocket- if she wants to ask if shes eligible for food bank help then she can- why are you saying no?- are you ashamed that your own family would be using food bank, because you work there.? Thats not up to you its up to her if she wants to apply.If you want to help her and her not apply then why not take her a bit of the stuff when they tell you to help yourself?? At least its then going to folk who need it.

Yes STOP giving him free food- if he needs it then he can either go through olio himself like everyone else- or if he needs it free go to a foodbank- if he asks why just come straight out and say in exchange for the jobs doing you will provide some of what you get- like 'bob a job' week only paid in food.If not just say where you volunteer theyve cut back on giveaways as more folk need the food.- Just a thought but if you get so much youre giving it away to greedy neighbours then why not take less home or none if you dont need it? Leave for others who might 🤔

Amalegra, the food is not from a food bank in this instance it's from a "waste reduction" company.

I would say -‘if you clean the gutter I will give you some food this week from my wages’
See what he says, if he says he wants cash get someone else to do it and stop the food parcels.
Some people don’t know a good thing even when it hits them in the face.

He wants money from you for a simple job that friends / neighbours do for free - that is already nasty. Add to it, the fact that you practically feed him, and it makes him the poster boy for avarice and nastiness and cheek. So, speak up. It is not his business how muich you pay for services. Tell him that you do nto want to enter into busiensss deals with him - and if push comes to shove, remind him of the botched fence issue. Also, give him less stuff, and see what happens. He is one entitled spoiled brat.

I do not agree this neighbour should be doing a job for free unless he offers. The food is not costing OP anything at all, she is meant to distribute it free of charge not make a profit from it. How can you call yourself a volunteer if you make a profit in any way. Like others have said, this is very strange way of volunteering. I understand you get some food that may otherwise go to waste, but it is your job to distribute it to people who cannot afford food themselves in quantities they really need and you should certainly not expect favours in return.

I work as a volunteer for a food bank. I am often told at the end of the day to help myself to what is left, including non perishables. I never do this. Recently my daughter, who is single but ill at the moment and unable to work, asked me if she would be eligible for help from it. She certainly would but I told her, no, I will help her out. And I do. I am a single, retired person and not particularly well off, but I can, luckily, help my own a little. I was under the impression that foodbanks existed to give to those in need, which may or may not have to be proven as far as I can tell. They are not for those who have the means to feed themselves. This man sounds like someone purely out for himself and does not deserve the free food he gets, unless of course he really IS in poverty. So too with the bullying (that’s what it is!) for money in exchanged for (likely bungled) jobs. Cut the help, tell him no, people are in much worse straits than him and there are no longer the resources for food to be given away willy nilly. If he needs help he is well able to get it himself and must do so from now on.

I do not like the sound of this man. If I were you I would find another good cause to give food to. I am concerned that he is pushing his way into your life. Please be careful and put some defences up unless you want him to start bullying you. If you have fresh food to give away which the food bank may not want could you eg contact the local vicar or similar who may know of families in real need.
I wouldn’t let him do any jobs for me either he sounds like a very controlling person. Keep safe.

I would never employ someone I casually know, or neighbour, to do a job. It makes it very difficult if the jobs not done properly. So stick to your guns. As others have said, tell him that because times are particularly hard, strict rules are now in place so you are unable to continue to give him food. He's taking advantage of your good nature.

Jesus would not have lasted long in business

I was responding to Biglouis, NotSpaghetti
Apologies!

Yes, I agree, he would have been fair but no pushover.
He didn't like money changers!

Callistemon21, not sure if that was for me or biglouis

I was really only responding to the idea that Jesus would automatically be a failure in business - not to anything else about him. I do think he would have been fair however - and not "grasping".
Sorry if that wasn't clear.

I think Jesus would have done just fine, actually

"Gentle Jesus, meek and mild" is something made up by Charles Wesley.

Jesus was a rebel leader, full of fire and energy but with kindness for those in need.

biglouis

Jesus would not have lasted long in business. Those of you who commented that the OP got the food for free have not taken account of her time, effort, wear and tear on the vehicle and petrol money to go and collect the supplies. All these elements have a cost. Nothing is really free.

I know of no rule which dictates that a "volunteer" cannot get something back for their efforts. Thos of you who were on about the tax office get a bloody life.

I do understand that supplies have to be collected from supermarkets, but not everyone who volunteers for such organisations does the collecting.
Here some volunteers man/woman the hub and people come to collect the food although some volunteers will distribute it to those people who cannot get to the hub.

In this case the man lives next door to Grannygrumps1 and has benefited enormously from her kindness.

I'd give him a lot less (not cut him off completely) and find others to carry out the work so there is no obligation on either side.
If he wants more free food, perhaps he'd like to volunteer too. It sounds as if he's fit enough with spare time.

No need to fall out with him, if he says he could have done the job for less just smile. "Oh, right" is non-committal! How does he know what you paid anyway?

I hope you can find more needy people who will appreciate the food, Grannygrumps1.

Am I out of step here? If I do some one a favour it is because I wanted to, not because I can get something back. I try not to ask for favours but love receiving ones given freely with no strings attached. If someone asks I will do my best for them but have learned to say no if necessary. No can be a difficult word to say but it can save a friendship.

biglouis - I am assuming you haven't done a lot of volunteering or you would know how rewarding it usually is.
Volunteering brings many rewards - some would say it is its "own reward"

As to business. Both my mother and father had their own businesses. My parents were regular volunteers and my father, through his businesses was one of the most generous people I have known.
Some things did cost money but he chose to do them anyway and being a businessman is surely about being a person too.

I am grateful that I was brought up in a "businesses" family that cared for the community in which we were based.

Don't assume that businesses has no give and take, no building of friendly and kind relationships. No thoughtful holding-out-of-hands to those less fortunate. It is not all about money... you are allowed to have a heart too you know.

And frankly most people prefer to do businesses with people they feel warm to and are are fair and friendly. I certainly feel this way.
Some businesses I have boycotted over the years for their attitude... I don't think I'm the only one who has chosen to buy from/eat at/ do businesses with one place over another - simply because of the people there.

I think Jesus would have done just fine, actually.

MissAdventure

I think I would just rather give away the food to others, and pay him for anything he does.

That puts it on a more business like footing.

Tjis is my feeling too, MissA

Beautful, have you read the thread? . It has been pointed out more than once that the food is not intended for 'desperate people' - Olio is about reducing waste, and is not a charity. The food is not means-tested. The OP is not giving away food from a soup kitchen, she is saving her neighbour on the effort and fuel it would cost him to go and get it himself, which he (as with absolutely everyone) is entitled to do.