Sexual harassment by men to women

I have never interpreted a friendly arm round the shoulders in that way Delila. Some men are, thankfully, naturally protective of women. I have always been able to distinguish between the gentleman (as I believe Eejit to be) and the lech. I’m pleased to have met far more gentlemen than leches in my lifetime.

GSM, I did say there are occasions when a supportive or comforting arm around the shoulder is welcome, and I think that “friendly” comes into the category of personal relationship, of course. I think it’s clear that I’m talking about uninvited, unwelcome touching. Hugs and kisses from my friends are very welcome and I too am very grateful for my men friends.

My comment is in no way intended to imply that Eejit is anything other than a gentleman.

Back in the early 80s I left a job due to a boss and his advances that progressed to physical contact and I mean forced physical contact. I just didn't turn up for work following the last occasion. He phoned my house, spoke with my DH who clearly tokd him I would not be back due to his behaviour which he denied! I later found out he tried the same with soneone else. Power I think was his motivation.

I had a boss who would often tell me that he’d just had sex with me in his head.
I would just look him in the eye and say and that’s where it’s going to stay 😂

I don’t agree that ‘friendly’ comes into the category of ‘personal relationship’ Delila. A man can show protection or friendship without there being a personal relationship,

I have a female friend who cannot speak to anyone without touching them and. holding their hand throughout the whole conversation. She also hugs on hello and good bye and when she feels emotional one way or another. She is the nicest person ever, but I do not welcome her constant touching and particularly not her holding hands whilst speaking with me. I have told her several times, but she does it automatically and most of our other friends welcome it and think she is exceptional lovely, which she really is. It is difficult some times. Touching of num is out of the question though, I would have to stop there. LOL. Lots of American habits are coming in to our work places. Group huggings in the mornings before commencing work and at team meetings too. I have experienced that in training sessions in one company, really weird.

Having worked in a military base around a lot of men in the past. It’s not all men but some it’s a control thing and some they just think it’s their right put them together and they a pack and it’s just plain showing off. I did work for a company that I had a man was like my 2nd shadow and any reason he could to touch me my hair etc in end I went to the boss but he told boss he couldn’t stop himself he wanted to be with me even my hubby told him but I ended up leaving in the end.

Their mothers raised them wrong.
Inexcusable. These men are boors.
It should not be tolerated in the workplace. If leaders cannot identify it or act on an employee who has a legitimate complaint, the leader (male or female) is not good, fair or strong.
I know there are very respectable men in this world. Lovely people then. Forget the rest.

I do agree that any form of sexual harassment should never occur, or be tolerated in the work environment. However, it’s not always men towards women. I work in a predominantly female workforce and have often seen (and to my shame) joined in with sexist ‘banter’. A good looking maintenance man, for example, was the butt of many comments. Such as - I have a hole that needs filling, my tap keeps dripping etc. I’m really ashamed that I laughed at this at the time. The poor chap seemed to take it lightly but I’m sure in reality he was mortified. It’s those with the power of seniority or numbers who can exploit others, and men may find it harder than women to report unacceptable behaviour.

I scooted down to the last page, I admit, I have been an attractive person, in my youngers years, and never had a problem. one try on tome, I found one look from me... ..
so Lady GaGa I so agree with you... and I am NOT saying "some women ask for it" there are always the really bad ...times.. (deep sighs) but I assume we are discussing the normal/everyday occurences.. (sp)

Katie59

It’s certainly not hate, if you want call it “animal instinct”compare it with a dog, he sniffs another dog, a male probably won’t react, a bitch will snap at him sometimes very aggressively he will back off.

Before anyone says animals don’t commit rape, oh yes they do a group of young males can get very sexually aggressive.

It is definitely hate with some men. Google Incels.

Yes I did google incels.

Everyone is different though. I don't think "one size fits all".

Interestingly, someone further back in the comments commented that making a pass could be construed as sexual harassment, too. I have to say that it might be better to ask someone out if you have feelings for them rather than try to "make a pass" at work.

"Isn't a main reason the desire or need to feel powerful in some aspect of their life, especially if they have no assets to be proud of. ( Even men with high flying jobs can still feel low self esteem - especially if they have a powerful wife!)"

That is certainly a factor, rowyn, and there is also the factor that with power comes a sense of entitlement.

It is also said that power is an aphrodisiac. Would any gransnetters agree with this, or is it another piece of self-delusion on the part of the patriarchy?

grumppa

*"Isn't a main reason the desire or need to feel powerful in some aspect of their life, especially if they have no assets to be proud of. ( Even men with high flying jobs can still feel low self esteem - especially if they have a powerful wife!)"*

That is certainly a factor, rowyn, and there is also the factor that with power comes a sense of entitlement.

It is also said that power is an aphrodisiac. Would any gransnetters agree with this, or is it another piece of self-delusion on the part of the patriarchy?

No I think there is ample evidence that powerful men sometimes do use (if not abuse) women. Monica and Bill Clinton come to mind

I think it's possible to be deeply insecure in one area of your life and very powerful in another. I would say that Clinton's behaviour towards Monica was abusive or certainly an abuse of power. I think it would be seen very differently if it happened today.

I'm sure it is... perhaps that's the way an insecure man makes a pass, you mean? In a sexually harassing way? For power?

' Their mothers raised them wrong(ly).'

And their fathers?