When is too old to work?

I'd be delighted that I had a partner who is still mentally vigorous.. and still has purpose in his life.. it doesn't really matter whether he finds work at the end, he is living the life he wants today.. do you have a fulfilled life?

There is no age limit, retire when you (or anyone) feels they need to, want to and can afford to, I think your DH is amazing but I also understand things from your perspective

I agree.

Unless the cost of the course is leaving the household short of money what does it matter? There is no evidence of that. All OP says is: I’m a bit fed up ... that he’s spending money on training at this stage in his life.

Some other wife might say: I’m a bit fed up that he’s spending his money on fishing rods or football tickets.

He shouldn’t have to justify the cost but it sounds like he is being pressured into doing so. If he has long experience in management and wants to keep abreast of current methodologies then why not do a structured course?

Some years ago, as I was preparing to retire from paid work, I read for an English degree with the OU. The first year was an Introduction to the Humanities (A103 anyone?) and included a compulsory summer school. It was an excellent week, both intellectually and socially. We learned that the oldest student there was 92. The majority of students planned to spread their studies over six years - 60 points a year - so he would graduate when he was 98. Good for him. I hope he did.

I'm ten years younger than OP's husband but that degree, or rather the things I learned while reading for that degree, still lead to regular offers of paid work.

I wouldnt be optimistic either at his chances of getting work with this now at his age I must admit.

But I think the main issue is "Can you both afford for him to do this?" and, if you can = then just accept he is getting on with it and he'll figure out it was a waste of money somewhere along the line. If you can't afford it = a rather different matter and some good talks on your budget and putting necessities first will be necessary.

That's the thing - whether you can afford it or no is THE main consideration.

Another consideration is what he'd do with the time instead of this - maybe it's a useful way for you both to have some "me time without the other one"?

Studying per se can be useful to keep mentally active/prove one can etc. I rather admire people who take up say painting or other creative hobby at a late age and go on to make money from it. I also admire people who go back to university and get a degree at a late age - even if it's just as an interest thing. Years back I was surprised to discover I'm in the university range and decided at that point to do an Open University course come retirement - "better late than never" to prove I have that capability. But, in the event, so many other people are also going to university and getting a degree (some "really" and some not) and half the population seems to get that and so I decided I'd be proving nothing and so there was no point after all (ie because Society had changed in that way).

So - yep....it may just be that it's useful for him to "keep the grey matter going" and so it's useful - even if only at that level - and, if your budget can afford it = then why not?

If he can afford to spend money does it matter really how he spends it.
He is getting pleasure from doing this and if you can’t convince him to spend it doing things that would please other people then don’t worry.

I think the problem is that he believes, and is trying to convince his wife, that a lucrative career awaits once he has obtained his qualification. If he were able to admit that he has wanted to undertake this course of study purely for the enjoyment factor that would be a different matter, but when he finds that he can’t get work as a management consultant what will that do to him?

finds that he can’t

After I retired I spent three years and a considerable sum of money retraining in another field. I subsequently went on to run a business using my newfound skills. It was possibly the most challenging, exciting and fun part of my working life, and reasonably lucrative too.

You're never too old to pursue a dream and, even if I'd never used my skills professionally, the friends I made on the course, the things I learned and the boost of the new at an age when some are narrowing their horizons was worth every penny and minute.

If you can afford it and it makes him happy then what is the downside?

Everyone has two lives and the second only begins when you realise you only have one.

He is optimistic about being employed as a management consultant but maybe he's enjoying the challenge of this new course he's attending? Keeping his mind open to new learning is very useful in many ways beyond the financial. Good luck to him.

We are only as old as we feel. It sounds like he has got some healthy interests and good ambition. You might find something else to do with your time so you dont worry about his. If funds are too scarce would you really tell him to discontinue? I dont think so.

Redhead56

Both physical and mental activity have most certainly got to be better than sitting doing nothing. Life is too short so be as active as you can be and are able to be your mind and body will benefit.
Well that’s my philosophy about life no matter what your age ability or interest just make the effort. Push yourself even if it hurts physically or if it is mentally draining it is beneficial age is just a number.

I will second that, physical activity for me lowers blood pressure and blood sugar, and makes me feel a lot better generally. If nothing else is happening I go to the gym for half an hour, I’m lucky that I still have the mobility to do most activities even if it is only moderately.

Both physical and mental activity have most certainly got to be better than sitting doing nothing. Life is too short so be as active as you can be and are able to be your mind and body will benefit.
Well that’s my philosophy about life no matter what your age ability or interest just make the effort. Push yourself even if it hurts physically or if it is mentally draining it is beneficial age is just a number.

My work has always been my hobby, now it’s a part time hobby, others do the day to day stuff, I make sure the finances are kept straight.

Everyone seems to assume that we lose our marbles when old age strikes but thankfully it doesn’t happen to everyone. I keep myself busy selling all our stuff on eBay. Yes it’s very time consuming but I have the time and patience. Hopefully I will be able to buy a retirement home as we lost ours and are renting.

managing his business/our daughters is fine with me - perhaps not so fine with those he manages!

Yes, it "gets him out of the house" so he's not managing you.

When DH first retired he tried to manage me but I do not like being managed! So we found some voluntary groups which needed him and his management skills.

Margomar

I should explain that it’s not a new field of work for him, he has loads of experience in running organisations and troubleshooting and is very highly regarded , it’s just that he feels the need for this specific training. He is convinced that the cost will be justified by the well paid consultancy work.
I agree with Elowen33 - he has an expensive hobby!

If he can afford this new hobby, enjoys it, and it helps keep his mind active - why not continue? My husband still works, he doesn't like to sit still, he enjoys 'managing' people when not golfing.

Golf is an expensive hobby, managing his business/our daughters is fine with me - perhaps not so fine with those he manages!

Can he afford to lose this money as it's a type of gambling at his age? If so, then it will be fine, he's exercising his brain which is good.

Personally, I think that all those organisational and management skills would be much appreciated in the voluntary sector and would keep him and his brain active too.

Good on him. Does it matter if he gets work? Would it be a better use of his money to play gold or be in a racehorse syndicate? He's busy, active and engaged with a purpose in life. I think many people would be a lot happier if they had his drive and interest in life. Just let him get on with it and be supportive, he sounds great!

Would he still take the qualification if he knew he would never get work as a result?

If so, why not encourage him, if the cost is not preventing you from doing things that are objectively more important? Education is about far more than employment, and many older people do courses for their own pleasure with no expectation of employment as a result. It may be that your husband feels that he has to say he hopes to get work from the course, as many older people have a very transactional view of education, and he might expect to be criticised for just wanting to do it as opposed to needing to have the certificate.

After retirement, I did another MA in a subject I love, just for the love of it. I am happy to teach others about it, and often do so on a voluntary basis, but I don't want to be committed to even part-time paid work now. A relative of mine qualified as an accountant on retirement, after a career in engineering. Again, he has no interest in employment, but does the accounts for a church group, and helps friends and family who have small businesses. It's not unusual.

But if he is working two days a week helping out with counselling, surely his experience of running organisations and trouble shooting is in the past? I don’t understand on what basis he seriously think people are going to pay him a lot of money for management consultancy work when he gets his qualification?

I should explain that it’s not a new field of work for him, he has loads of experience in running organisations and troubleshooting and is very highly regarded , it’s just that he feels the need for this specific training. He is convinced that the cost will be justified by the well paid consultancy work.
I agree with Elowen33 - he has an expensive hobby!

Barleyfields

He is being very over optimistic, or dare I say deluded. I can’t imagine anybody employing an 80+ year old newly qualified management consultant, no track record. It’s not an investment, it’s an expensive hobby.

I totally agree. DH is 81 and has just drifted out of work, but he is a chartered engineer, who simply went self employed on retirement and has worked doing the work he has done all his life and had a recognised expertise in. He took such work as he wanted and since COVID limited it to work he could do from home.

But anyone of 80plus thinking that they can train for a new career and get work, is I think, living in cloud cuckoo land.

I am also puzzled how you train to be a management consultant. Management consultants are usually people with a given expertise in a field, who then become management consultants advising in that field of expertise. Does he have a field of expertise he will use his management consultant skills in?

Having said that your DH is admirable, if slightly misguided because all this activity, especially mental activity will very definitely help him live fit and well for a long time and provide considerable protection from dementia.

He is being very over optimistic, or dare I say deluded. I can’t imagine anybody employing an 80+ year old newly qualified management consultant, no track record. It’s not an investment, it’s an expensive hobby.

I too think he is being over optimistic about future employment, however if you look at the training he is doing as a hobby or interest maybe it wont seem such a waste of money, there are many more expensive hobbies.

Good on him!