Retiring and living frugally in money from downsizing after years of stress

Sorry I don't normally do kisses. It seemed natural given how hurt you have been.

Wishing you well. X

ElaineMcG47
Ah, that's good to know.
Happy, happy retirement, then
P.S why not give your adult "children" a lesser amount?

I'm so sad for you and for the treatment you have suffered at the hands of your own Daughters. Not sure that a 'shit mother' and 'warped' child beater should be rewarding each of them with £15,000 of your very hard-earned money! Isn't it time that you lived up to your 'reputation?' They're adults and more than capable of organising their lives well away from you. Your moving on with plans for a new life might even, eventually, make them reflect on how they've treated you.....and one gift of money (however you assure them there'll be no more) will only lead them to expect more when it suits!

I wish you peace and a happy life in a new place. The countryside works wonders for the soul. Try to focus on your own plans and don't be a victim any longer.

Wishing you so much luck, and better health x

Thd 15k will be a one off payment. I have made that very clear, though I dont think they deserve it. Re if my mobility worsens ' yes, Miss Adventure - I have made plans - I have one surgery for arthritis in July and two more over the next 18 months, so that hopefully will help with my mobility long term. I put in a walk in shower in my cottage- the Council helped with some of the exoenses for this due to my arthritis. Tesco and the Irish supermarket, Supervalu, deliver groceries to the village I live in, and there is an hourly bus into the local town which also stops outside the hospital, so I think I will retire easily here..

Sounds like a great idea to me. I’m sure you’ll be very happy putting the plan into action and enjoying doing up your new home.
I also would not be giving anything to your ACs. This time is your time to enjoy life. Good luck for your future.

Have you a plan for if your arthritis worsens?
Will you be able to still shop, drive, and do what you need to?

100 miles away and in the countryside too sounds good. If you gift 15K each will you have to pay tax on it I wonder?
If you give them the money I think it best to make it very clear that it's a one-off and no more will be forthcoming. If either of them can't manage their financial affairs in the future can you harden your heart and leave them to their own devices?

Shinamae

Usedtobeblonde

Please don’t give your AC anything.
Actions must have consequences.
Look after your money, you will need it for a decent life ahead of you.
I wish you well.

Ditto 💐

Ditto too x

I think you should go for it and live the rest of your life in peace and with as little stress as possible.

Please let us all know how you decide to proceed and very best of luck x

Usedtobeblonde

Please don’t give your AC anything.
Actions must have consequences.
Look after your money, you will need it for a decent life ahead of you.
I wish you well.

Ditto 💐

You must do it. I would not give your children anything. They do not deserve it and you will need the money to look after yourself in the years to come. When I retired I downsized with encouragement from my family. It’s surprising how savings go quickly because the state pension is hard to live on. All the best for the future.

Please don’t give your AC anything.
Actions must have consequences.
Look after your money, you will need it for a decent life ahead of you.
I wish you well.

Lovely to hear all your positive comments. Yes. There are grants up to 70k for properties that have bern vacant for over two years here in Ireland.. Re my adult children appreciating the 15k each, I dont think they will but I dont want to abandon them completely by selling the family home - the 15k each is to transition them. They have been very unkind and even cruel at times, calling me warped, saying I am s shit mother, threatening to cut contact when I needed to move back into the family home, saying really hurtful things and see me cry but still continue to do it. My daughter told serious lies about me that I had beaten her up as a child, I could have list my job. She used to threaten socisl work and I would give her the contact details but she would never csll them. She still trashes my reputation to her friends. The list goes on and on. It broke me inside.

Check out The Great Irish House revival series on BBC iplayer. There are several series and it includes lots of information regarding grants etc. There do seem to be far more grants available for home restoration in Ireland.

Will you get any thanks from your children for the £15k.
Personally I would give them nowt if they have been unkind to you. Let them stand on their own two feet if they are working.
If you are careful I think your money should last.
Cottage sounds lovely.
Enjoy the peace & quiet & don’t let those two live rent free in your head if you’ve had enough.

Hope all goes well for you Elaine.

You should go for it . I would also try to get advice on the best way to invest your capital to give you an income but not to be able to get cash out for your demanding children whenever they want it . Make them stand on their own two feet and get a new phone number so they can’t pester you .

Thanks to all of you again for all the encouraging replies. Delila - it's a cottage that has been in my family since 1932 - thry won't visit though, they hate the countryside, and think everyone there is boring - so I will have peace!

Do it!
When my OH became unwell and had to leave his job at 42 we sold our home and downsized to wipe out our mortgage... we had 3 young children.
We never regretted it and I do not think you will if you make the leap into a new life. You have done your bit work wise and you need to have your chance to relax. Sometimes we have to be bold to improve our lives.

Yes I agree with everyone else go for it ElaineMcG47 you deserve a peaceful and content life now. I wish you all the best.

Elaine, it sounds exactly what you need after all you’ve been through & 100 miles away from your children is a fairly safe distance. Do you have to give them your address? I’d be sorely tempted not to…

Wishing you peace and contentment in your little cottage🏡

Thank you all for your kind replies. Thry are reassuring! I didn't think I would make it to 60 due to the impact of alm that happened and is still happening with my adult children. I just want to have a quiet frugal life in the countryside. I grow fruit and veg in my garden and also have a community allotment. I will be moving about 100 miles from my adult children. At the moment they are really angry that I am selling the house. They are both working and have finished university. When I say I am burnt out, that I sm in quite a bit of pain with arthritis, it's like they don't hear it, or don't care.

Don't tell your kids about the money. They will milk you.

I’d go for it. Your mental health deserves you listen to it and act accordingly to your needs. You can’t buy peace of mind.

Good luck ElaineMcG47.