Writing letters

Quite apart from email, it's now so much easier and cheaper to telephone and free to Skype. Now there are ways and means of getting very cheap calls to the other side of the globe, there's no need to write the letters that I used to write to my sister. We were on the phone only this morning for half an hour.

bags It's very easy to get onto the computer and write an e-mail - I do it daily and I find it far easier to do than write a letter by hand - after all you can read through it, go back and alter things as you go along; however to sit down, write a letter on a piece of paper, stick it in an envelope and send it is, to me far more personal - that's all I am saying.

How about making allowances for people who can't write, or who find writing painful, and still appreciating the thought? And there was me thinking it was the thought that counted!

I find it quite hurtful that the messages of people with hand disabilities, which may or may not be 'visible' to others, will not, apparently, be appreciated as much as others. I used to write a lot by hand. Now I find it extremely difficult and am glad of alternative methods of communication which are not painful and which can still convey the same messages in the same words that I would have used in a handwritten message.

Thanks for being so understanding, folks, and so unprejudiced!

To me there seems a closer link between the sender and the receiver when the correspodence is hand written. We forgot to write in the visitors' book after a recent visit to friends. They asked if we would write something and send it to them to stick in the book. My husband said'' send an email''. I got out the pen and wrote some comments and posted it together with a letter written in an appropriate card. You can't stand an email on your mantelpiece.

Just re-read your post, gally. I'm very glad for you about the "incredibly moving hand-written letters" that you received after John's death which you preferred to the emails you received. Forgive me if I am wrong, but does that not imply that if, just for argument's sake, the exact same words as in one of those letters had been written in an email instead of on paper, it wouldn't have meant the same to you?

You don't have to answer of course. I am simply puzzled.

Ah well, chacun à son goût. But I maintain there is no single right way to communicate in any situation.

DD3 has several penfriends to whom she writes by hand. Some of them do their letters on a computer and print them. Each to her own. DD doesn't mind, so long as she gets letters.

maniac, it's a bone/cartilage problem with me. My muscles are fine and get used a lot. I hope your hands are not painful.

Bags I printed all the e-mails I received from the 3 girls when they went off travelling for a year. They are all in a ring file and serve as a form of diary for that year reminding me of where they were and what they were up to. I enjoy writing letters - not that I write too many these days but find my writing is becoming more of a scrawl from lack of use . I received some incredibly moving hand written letters when John died, which were so much more welcome than e-mails - although I did, of course, appreciate them too..

I've developed a tremor in right hand in last few years so writing legibly is more difficult.I try to avoid it apart from signatures and inscriptions in greeting cards.
I use email communication daily but I do wonder if my hand muscles (like other body parts) deteriorate from lack of use.

Well done Bags for printing out the emails that you received when your DD was born - at least you've have got them for posterity now. That's one of the problems with emails, once read, they sit in the inbox perhaps never to be looked at again. At least a letter is something tangible that can be kept and treasured.
Another advantage with letters is that it's more personal. I'm often very wary of expressing my feelings in an email which may get read by other members of the family who share the same computer and although I do have a separate email address for "personal stuff" - it's still not the same as you don't know who else will read the email that you have sent out.
That said - it must be months since I wrote a letter, I often send postcards to my DGD in Canada and I know she likes receiving those - it's something just for her and she also likes to check the postbox

I rely on email and in fact depend on it - I belong to various groups where we communicate via email and facebook. If for some reason the email is 'down' I can get quite panicky. The young adults in my family only use email, and I think it would never cross their minds to use any other form.

However, I do communicate with my 8 year old grandson by traditional letter. He lives 150 miles away. Our correspondence began in response to his complaint that mum and dad got lots of letters (ie bills) and he never got any. I thought it would be fun and that it would encourage him to practise his handwriting. I am hopeless at drawing but I usually illustrate my letters to him and try and make them amusing. Recently, I wrote to him before going away on holiday and drew a picture of the small backpack I use as hand luggage, along with its contents. It was the spare pair of knickers that he found hilarious!

He also loves receiving parcels (who doesn't?) and I find amazon is great for organising books to be delivered to a different address.

As I said before, hunt, I printed and stuck into a book for my daughter, the congratulatory emails I received after her birth. I have also printed emails I wanted to keep from when I first knew my DH, along with some hand-written letters. Email need not be limiting unless one chooses to make it so.

Up in the loft is a box of letters from my beloved when we were engaged, tied with a red ribbon of course. I would probably not have had these if email had been available. Also a bundle of letters congratulating my Mum on my birth. I think the look of a person's hand writing comes into this equation. You miss the variety with an email, it doesn't give many clues as to the writer's personality.

A typical Drs handwritting jeni is that part of your training?

jeni

I don't use a spell checker, it uses me! I don't write letters as no one would be able to read them!

I don't use a spell checker (although I do break off and look words up in a dictionary if I'm not sure of the spelling) and I often go to the computer specifically to write an email. I prefer to type because I have arthritis in my hands and writing by hand hurts. It's also quite hard to keep my handwriting neat nowadays.

Also, if I have received news by email, it seems natural to reply by the same mode of communication. That's all it is: a mode of communication. What is communicated is up to the writer. Ditto for all other styles of communication. Moaning about one or ther form of communication is just, well, moaning. And unappreciative of the sender.

As for speed of communication making a difference to the sentiment. That's rubbish! One feels the sentiment immediately on hearing bad news (or good news).

Naturally, if what one has to say needs some consideration, one takes one's time composing the communication. That applies to all kinds of letter, not just had-written ones.

I think people are making all kinds of unjustified and unkind assumptions in saying one form is better than another. It is a very negative outlook.

Writing something by hand takes more effort and thought than firing off an email from your computer, when you're probably using it for something else anyway.
An email is certainly better than nothing at all, but with automatic spelling correction and the other tools "assisting" us, it is all too easy to type something different to your intended message.
Maybe it's just age and future generations won't even be capable of writing, so the issue will die with us.

Why does something handwritten indicate more thought? Can't say I can tell myself. Surely an emailed expression of condolence is better than none at all? Sorry, but I think it's just control freakishness that wants to lay down rules about what is the proper way to express sympathy.

Likewise congratulations. Many of those I received when DD3 was born were via email. I was glad to receive them all. I printed them out and stuck them in her memory book with explanations of who the people from all over the world were and how they were connected to my life.

If someone Close to me were to die I should not object to email notes of sympathy. Quite the reverse. I should be touched to receive them.

I had an argument with my sister about emailing condolences - I don't, she does. I agree that a handwritten letter is more personal and indicates that more thought has gone into it.

Have to admit I mostly use email these days - except to my Mother, I write long letters to her about once a month - got one in my bag to post now. She doesn't write back as often as she used to but at 86 I suppose I should expect that, but I know she enjoys receiving letters so keep I keep it up.

Emails have an immediacy that I enjoy, along with other forms of 'cloud' communication - tweets and fb - but there is something extra-special about receiving a postcard or letter in the post. It appeals in a way which I can't quite identify - but is very, very nice.

jack
I agree with you, to -email condolences seems very insensitive and rather lacking in good manners.

My sister wrote to me the other week, she's not very techy although we have exchanged to odd e-mail she prefers to write... reminds me I better reply...

I only write letters once a year, to enclose with Christmas cards to old friends I don't get to see anymore - but will do, one day! I don't like printed round robins (although one friend writes a brilliantly entertaining one) so each is individual. But I find it very hard now having got used to back tracking on the computer and inserting stuff I've forgotten.

No, I don't find e mail or GN impersonal at all! There are many ways of communicating. What I love is the immediacy of electronic communication - as if one was having a conversation. Just look at how our posts swing backwards and forwards, digress, return and so on. Lovely. I do have a couple of friends who only write letters, and I like that too, but do miss the opportunity to send a photo to illustrate a point.