Public outpourings of grief

Excellent post Rosesarered. It is such a shame we cannot say how we personally feel about any 'topic' here, our opinion, without it being seen as a personal attack on someone who has a different view. The fact I find it distateful, and would upset and disturb me, rather than comfort me, in time of deep grief- does not mean I criticise or deride someone who feels differently, surely. Let's agree that sometimes we disagree, and it does not add up to attack or 'bleating', etc, and that this is fine.

I was thinking of that particular case mentioned and the little children trawled along to place teddies for a child some of them probably did not know.
I thought we were discussing changing attitudes to grief in this country

Syria is a whole different and tragic story, I am doing my best to contribute something to help as well as money (if you knit/crochet please check out the LILY website - Love in the Language of Yarn)

My last post was in reply to absent's remark which suggested to me that it is not grief that people who leave flowers or teddies or whatever after deaths but some other sentiment, such as sympathy. This has already been said on the thread by people other than me if I remember correctly. My interpretation of absent's post may be wrong but she is the only one who will know that for certain. There is nothing right or wrong about expressing this idea.

My post was not a criticism, just an opinion. It really doesn't matter except to clarify concepts such as grief, sympathy, etc. Which is what I thought the thread is about.

As for not trying to convince anyone of something different from what they'd already thought (or not thought, as the case may be), I thought that's what discussion was for as well as to simply express a firmly held opinion which one doesn't intend to change.

I have expressed my opinions same as everyone else. No-one has to like them or agree with them, or even read them. I have not made personal remarks, just said what I think in a general way. At least, that has been my intention.

Thanks thabags- it is just the 'stop bloody moaning' which seemed a bit stronger than just giving an opinion, can you see that? Anyhow- onwards and forwards, and hope we can agree to disagree at times (even often) without personalising or insulting. Ta.

Yes, I can see that, but it is still only my opinion that a lot of the posts I read seemed excessively negative and critical. The comment "stop bloody moaning" was not directed at any individuals but at (what I read as) moany posts. I can't even remember who made the negative comments, nor do I wish to remember. I was commenting on what was said, and what appeared to me to be the tone of what was said, not who said it.

There have been many negative comments on this thread which puzzle me inasmuch as they were a response to the death of toddler Mikeeal. Unless you live in that street then this is something viewed on TV, for less than a minute probably. So live with that or ignore it. If you keep on and on about it then who is actually 'wallowing' and in what?

Bags and I often have heated disagreements spirited discussions but I honestly cannot see that she has said anything that warrants a capital YOU Rosesarered and we are all aware of the truism you trotted out.

Of course that was the gist of what I was saying bags although I would extend the thought to the suggestion that through such actions we, as a society, through the media and so on, are in in danger of mistaking "false" emotions for real ones – in this case genuine sadness for the real gut-wrenching misery of personal grief. There are those who are okay with this but I find the "me too – look, I'm crying" attitude unattractive.

I'm not clear why you've been put on the naughty step.

I thought this was a general discussion about public displays of so-called grief not simply about the incidence of one child's death. As I know nothing about that child or his/her death,I shall say no more. That, after all, is what we have been told to do anyway.

I have to agree about the joining in because it's seen as the done thing, absent. It doesn't appeal to me either, but I can understand its appeal (if that is the right expression; it seems more like peer group pressure to me) to others, in the same way that I can understand other fashionable and/or cultural pressures on people.

Perhaps I'd better not read the posts about naughty steps. Been out at archery.