To worry about future generations

I Agree with everything you have said Joelsnan , society has changed in so many ways in recent years, with many young people living very unstable lives, often with no one to turn to. It is very sad, many never get the opportunity to live a stable life.

I would imagine being a single parent (for those who want a good future for their children), as being a really hard job. I have nothing but admiration for those parents.

There are two parent families where parents either overindulge their offspring, or are so self consumed that the children are almost ignored or live by the 'anything for a quiet life' mantra.
Generalisations are difficult therefore parenting classes should be available to all pregnant or new parents.

This idea of women.in any social group drifting from man to man collecting children as they go, is an illusion.

Only 13% of single parents have more than two children, less than any other group (married parents, parents cohabiting). www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/bulletins/familiesandhouseholds/2017

GabrielleC
I admit to having difficulty posting on an IPad, especially without my glasses (which I often mis-place) and chemo making the ends of my fingers numb. I admit to missing the odd spelling and grammar check. However i can assure you that i am a whizz on a standard keyboard, and you have no knowledge whatsoever of my educational attainment which may well exceed yours.
I would never ever feel i have the right to mention errors in grammar, spelling or composition of anyone elses post. I am just happy that they have this media to express themselves, however this may be, sad you don't feel the same way.

GabriellaG ....Hmmm...your point?,

I don't worry about those close to me I put a lot of effort into ensuring my childen were well brought up and emotionally stable and as far as I can see they are in turn following that line with their children.

An earlier post highlighted one mistake many parents make " what would you like for supper darling" immediately the kids realise they have control and it all goes downhill from there. As a caring parent you don't deliberately prepare food the children dislike but you choose the menu, year by year it is up to you the decide what they are allowed to do, who they socialise with and who you trust to supervise them. If you make a mistake and they are abused in some way it can ruin their whole life, not until their mid teens are they capable of making decisions consistently.

Government policy has a lot to do with this decay in society, a single mum on benefit cannot have a man living with her or benefit will stop. So the children have no father and she drifts from man to man trying to find stability, having more children in the process. The children in turn see no other prospect and most follow the same lifestyle, it no wonder that gangs rule many areas, not just inner city either.

I say giving benefit to single mums who have the fathers living with them would go a long way to improve society.

A good level of spelling and grammar was evidently bypassed by a certain poster, even though that person is aware that 'young people' could benefit from learning comprehension, spelling etc.
Seniors are not above criticism.

I think you’re right Joelsnan. It’s scary for a young child to have control as he doesn’t have the tools to deal with it.

I think we should bring back a form of National Service but more like Community service, with lots of physical activities, music and art included (like Finland or Denmark).

Interesting Joelsnan, reminds me of a young teacher who ticked off a few children who hadn’t done their homework, the parents of one of the children accused the teacher of verbal abuse!

I think we need to teach new parents that strucure and authority is very important when raising children. Children thrive when they have some strucure such as knowing when they will eat, sleep etc.
Far too many parents have given control to their children, 'where shall we go', 'what would you like to eat' etc. Some may feel they are being loving by allowing this but I think quite the opposite, it is up to the parent to make and apply the decisions and not lazily devolve responsibility.
Schools are accused of excluding too many children, but children who consider they control the situations are often incompatible with schooling because of the lack of self control and strucure they require within that setting.

I think lack of social mobility and lack of hope is a major factor.

Funnily enough the younger generation now uses fewer drugs, has fewer children who are unwanted and abandoned, a lower crime rate, etc. etc..

Perhaps we are putting too many in prison early on, rather than helping them grow up into a welcoming world and they learn from their companions.

Or are we creating a subculture, separated from a decent life?

Im with Apricity. Global warming/climate change is the single issue tgat withh affect everyone in the world long term ,long after everyone has forgotten about Brexit, poverty, isis and all the other things we currently worry about. The whole future of mankind is at stake and it may well affect our grandchildren

Is it a desire to have children or a need to have a Man in their life? Many tolerate abuse just to keep the man with them, children come along, the man leaves and along comes another. They don’t know how to go it alone , don’t try. They must have little self confidence, so sad.

Hm999 - it's so easy to blame women for everything isn't it. Like you, the women I've met who had children by different fathers had one thing in common, that is a desire to have a family, to bring their children up in a stable home with a loving step/father.
They made mistakes, they forgot the old 70's mantra that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet a prince.

...woman thinking it's okay to have children by multiple men who then all scarper and expect those who work and choose to do the right thing to support them financially...
I've never met a woman who's chosen to have children by lots of men, I think they live in hope that this man will be a keeper, and then are disappointed. And given the current upset over benefits, I've no concept of how single mums make ends meet if dad is not offering some financial help.

In my opinion, a lot of the cause of feral youths is woman thinking it's okay to have children by multiple men who then all scarper and expect those who work and choose to do the right thing to support them financially. They often have no good role models in their life, little discipline and think everything that happens to them is someone else's fault so have no inclination to improve their lot in life. I know there a few who have bucked against this trend and done okay but not that many, I fear, in the grand scheme of things. Also, many of today's youth see others having nice things and think they can't manage without them and that should have them too without putting any effort in to earn them

I'm concerned about how difficult it is for the next generation to even get a roof over their heads. Two bedroom properties around here are easily at least £650 a month to rent, to buy the cheapest house is about £150,000. A lot of jobs would pay around £18K to £20K a year, and I'm talking warehousing/care work on zero hours contracts. It's a scary prospect.

I read 'Inside' by John Hoskison; a chilling depiction of what drugs are doing to the lives of prisoners and how far reaching the effects. Well written by a man who ended up 'inside' having been a decent professional person, it could not more graphically describe what is wrong and what needs to be done.

Many boys in inner cities come from families where one man will ‘baby father’
I'm not sure about this really.
Would we be so keen to make generalisations about the countryside or small towns?

I was taught basic sewing and cooking at school although I did it at home anyway. Also, saw my mother putting shillings in various tins for clothes, holiday ( not an annual event), Christmas, etc ( with a bonus when the meter was emptied). Whatever it was you didn’t get it until you had the money. These days the money lenders, from banks to doorstep types, are partly to blame for making it easy and normal to borrow. A recent family on eat well for less were showed how to potentially save £17,000 a year! As much as or more than an Amazon delivery person’s net salary!
The OP may be interested to listen to the series of BBC podcasts called ‘Morality in the 21st Century’ - discussions led by Rabbi Jonathan Sachs with guest speakers and sixth form pupils participating.
Easy and free to download I have them and many other podcasts on my phone to see me through sleepless nights or on long train journeys!

I read a piece some years back where the writer was bemoaning the poor state of society, the rudeness and ingratitude of children, the breakdown of decent life - and at the end I saw that the author was a contemporary of Confucious, and the comments were from about 400 BC.
Bad news is on a loop on TV, and I once saw the same distressing interview with a survivor of a terrorist attack at least five times in a very short interlude - and we don't have TV on much during the day. Caitlin Moran wrote a great piece in the Times magazine some months ago where she said that there is so much going on that is good, positive, life enhancing and making the world a better place - but that is rarely if ever in the news. I am horribly aware of the nightmare scenarios that some people have to face every day, and all the wrong things that are in our society, but at the same time we should balance this against what is good; and there is plenty of it. Take heart.

Oldbatty, there is a wealth of evidence in the public domain that children from parents in stable marriages are healthier, happier and do better in school and life generally.

Many boys in inner cities come from families where one man will ‘baby father’ many heirs but settle with none of the mothers thus depriving them of financial, moral and emotional support. The children lack role models and find none in female only primary schools. They turn to gangs for protection and to provide a surrogate family but the other boys are as immature and emotionally scarred as they are and the results are disastrous. We read about the consequences every day in the papers.

I don’t agree that many issues come from absent parenting
It’s better to have one good parent than two warring ones and there are very many good single mothers or single fathers doing their best and doing a good job for their kids Its too easy to generalise
I really hate the word ‘feral’ kids it’s such a degrading term
Everything has been cut back to the bare bones , youth clubs, teenage mentoring, special schools, mental health beds, police, prison officers everything is running on empty mothers are forced out to work just at the age when kids need them around

I believe a lot of the problems in our jails can be put down to drugs. The vast majority of prisoners took drugs before they got there & it is apparently impossible to stop the getting into prisons.
Sort that problem& a lot of inmates could come out with a chance to lead a productive life.