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AIBU

To think this is just not acceptable (NHS related)

(147 Posts)
maryeliza54 Thu 08-Nov-18 13:33:44

British woman of 50 with three grown up children and several grandchildren goes to Cyprus for IVF. Comes home and has quads all delivered and( currently) in SCBU ( costs well over £1000 pd per baby) all on NHS. Sarah M on World at One described story as heartwarming - I am speechless.

Buffybee Thu 08-Nov-18 15:41:31

I agree that the woman and the babies should be cared for by the Nhs, as people have said, what else can they do.
But, I think that what the woman has done is ridiculous and self
indulgent.
She should not be feted by the BBC at all.

felice Thu 08-Nov-18 15:53:19

I think she is being selfish, SIL is 51 now and DGS really tires him out, but then again I did not have the menopause until i was 54 so could have had a child until I was 50.
My personal idea of hell but it could have happened.

Billybob4491 Thu 08-Nov-18 16:29:26

Yes I also think she is selfish, but every child is a gift I hope they continue to thrive.

M0nica Thu 08-Nov-18 16:31:26

For some people, sadly, an unwelcome gift.

Bridgeit Thu 08-Nov-18 16:39:02

I think it’s acceptable, along with some other available procedures but not on the NHS

Nonnie Thu 08-Nov-18 17:32:21

River I think the difference is that the BBC would not suggest there was anything good about obesity, smoking, drunkenness etc. although I didn't think they did show approval, just stated the facts.

kittylester Thu 08-Nov-18 17:37:10

And, there are babies who are available for adoption but are being ignored because of women choosing IVF.

NHS, at least in our area, is not available to women over 35 (unless it is very straightforward) my beautician has endometriosis and has been denied it. She is currently partnerless but has borrowed money to fund IVF with a donor - American because we don't have enough - but will then rely, at least partly, on the state for support.

The silly woman who has had quads must have cost the NHS loads for the birth before any on going costs. She could have become a foster carer, adopted or waited for grandchildren!!

sodapop Thu 08-Nov-18 17:43:04

I think this woman is totally selfish. Considering she already had a family why does she feel the need to reproduce at 50. The menopause occurs for a reason, it tells us we are too old to care for babies. Of course the NHS had to step in as it does when cosmetic surgery performed abroad goes wrong. The babies should not suffer for their parents selfishness.
I agree that just because we can does not mean we should.

MissAdventure Thu 08-Nov-18 17:53:03

I think its incredibly selfish, too.

BP21 Thu 08-Nov-18 17:57:50

I am too....but then I am speechless over many things in this country now, it's not what it used to be and never will be again I suspect.

BP21 Thu 08-Nov-18 18:00:35

It shouldn't have been allowed to happen in the first place, or maybe if Cyprus rules let her go ahead, they should pay for the upkeep instead of UK, just a thought that's all.

EllanVannin Thu 08-Nov-18 18:03:56

Teenage children when you're in your 60's.No thanks !
The woman will be worn out.

Jalima1108 Thu 08-Nov-18 18:10:33

When I've been to Australia I've immediately signed up with medicash----just in case. Nothing free there !
EllanVannin Australia and the UK have a reciprocal arrangement re healthcare which I presume is for emergency care only.
Both DH and I have had free A&E treatment there but anything else eg a routine checkup or GP visit would have to be paid for I think, then reclaimed on your travel insurance.

Telly Thu 08-Nov-18 18:55:52

There are too many of us on the planet already. This lady has children and grandchildren. Surely there has to be a limit? The cost to the NHS does not bear thinking about, 30 staff during the delivery alone.
Just like to point out that NHS is not free. It is free at point of delivery. We all pay, well most of us.

Jalima1108 Thu 08-Nov-18 19:01:27

Why would you ????

lemongrove Thu 08-Nov-18 19:25:36

It’s certainly not a ‘heart warming’ story at all. After bringing up her children why on earth start again at that age?
Now she has four! I think it may be a case of act in haste, repent at leisure. The NHS has no choice in the matter of her support, and for the babies of course.

Jalima1108 Thu 08-Nov-18 19:30:59

No, the NHS has no cho8ice at all.

It is not heart-warming at all, it's selfish, mind-boggling and rather odd in fact.

SueDonim Thu 08-Nov-18 19:36:26

It's not a heartwarming story, it's an example of someone who only thinks of themselves. Obviously the little ones must be looked after now they're here but it's a bitter pill to swallow for someone like my friend whose husband is very ill. He has been denied an alternative treatment for his illness because of the cost. The irony is, if he could try the treatment, it might mean he could be discharged from hospital would save the NHS a shed load of money!

SueDonim Thu 08-Nov-18 19:37:13

which would

Missfoodlove Thu 08-Nov-18 19:43:44

It’s all about entitlement.
So many people just expect the state to provide, whether it’s NHS care, a larger council house etc etc.
How many people 60, 70 years ago would dearly loved to have had more children but were too frightened of the financial burden?
It a just do it mentality now and the state, ie you and me will pick up the tab.

TerriBull Thu 08-Nov-18 19:47:40

Selfish and others have said self indulgent. The babies have to be looked after and to quote the old adage "no one asks to be born" and to quote another "be careful what you wish for". Can't think of anything worse 4 teenagers and coping with the excesses of the menopause and all the other delights one experiences as an older woman, she's welcome to it. Surely she could have been happy with her grandchildren who wants to go through the whole gamut of babies through to the teens first hand again with half the energy you had when you were doing it as a younger mother shock

PECS Thu 08-Nov-18 20:35:15

riverwalk are you suggesting this woman is addicted to pregnancy? You seem to imply that obesity and nicotine addiction are bad because "do not choose" to address them.. many people who are obese and those addicted to nicotene try hard to quit their addiction. This woman made avey deliberate choice. She was free to do so but is not, I feel, the same as people with eating disorder or addiction.

BlueBelle Thu 08-Nov-18 20:50:50

Ridiculous and selfish and unexpcessary If she chose to go abroad because she couldn’t be treated in this country then she should get all her after care in that country no wonder the nhs is on its knees

Beau Thu 08-Nov-18 21:18:43

Not heartwarming, a peculiar decision on her part which she will probably live to regret. Unless she was hoping for one, not four? I could just about understand that but I didn't hear the story so I don't know her original intention. Yes, it's a big cost to the NHS but she's British so at least she's entitled.

Grannyben Thu 08-Nov-18 21:36:46

From what I've read, the parents other children are all adults and, they do have at least one grandchild. I understand the maternal grandmother died quite recently and she used the money left to her to pay for the treatment in Cyprus.
It was reported that she had 3 eggs implanted so she must have known that triplets were a possibility. In the end one egg produced twins so they have ended up with 4.
I feel that it's right these babies receive whatever treatment they need, they didn't ask to be born. The parents will be entitled to family allowance as they are clearly no longer receiving it for their adult children.
Personally, I have a problem with the medical practitioners who have allowed this to happen. As previous posters have commented, just because they can, doesn't mean they should but then there is a profit to be made in creating babies.
I'm sure at the moment the new mum is feeling invincible but give it time