Hi Oldandpastit, welcome to the site. I am sorry, but I have to join the people that think you are not "that old". I get that you both have aches and pains, and that it is not easy, etc. but then think of my mother, who is now 81. If and when I have needed surgery, wild horses could not have kept her away - so much so, that for some tests i needed some years ago, I didnt tell her, as she would have panicked and been sitting in the hospital for the duration. I know ANY planned holiday would have been postponed, or cancelled. Having said that, it goes both ways. If she has a sniffle, I am there for her, we both tend to fuss over each other.
Maybe you could find a solution to the extra driving (I can see that a two hour drive might be hard for some) by taking a train or a coach to her part of the world. Could her partner/husband collect you? Sometimes just a visit makes the world of difference when you are down, I know from experience.
Good luck with it all and I hope you can patch it up with daughter