I don’t want to go to the wedding

There does seem a rash of old threads at the moment. !

How do these old threads get resurrected? ? ? ?

If you want to discuss being a guest at a wedding start a thread yourself. OP had this dilemma 2 years ago! Not only did she come to a decision but the wedding is long over!
It is hardly relevant at the moment when weddings are either postponed or so small that a guest that is a friend of the mother is unlikely to be asked anyway.

Mande
It's your life, please don't suffer an evening of feeling totally uncomfortable.
All you need to do is ring the couple explain you would love to come and see them married but can't cope with the evening do.
Of course they won't pressure you into going, at least I hope not.
Send on the present.

Zombie thread, but worth a think.

Oh I've only just noticed when the OP put this on here.....

Perhaps buy a gift or put a voucher in a Congratulations card, and explain to your friend you don't feel up to going. If she's a true friend she'll understand.

Are today's responses relevant two years on ?

I have never liked social events as the people I know are aware, thankfully I am never invited to any now.

It was much easier in the long term, to be honest about how I felt, explaining that I was not comfortable at social events but thanking for the invite. That way nobody tried to talk me into going.

This is two years old

I had that 'gooseberry' experience when my friends' daughter had a big wedding at a smart country club. I didn't know anyone except the bride's family and was assigned a place at a table with younger guests, friends of the bride and groom with whom I had nothing in common. If I were you, I'd do what others have suggested and maybe go to the church but opt out of the reception if, that would make you feel an outsider.

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You've done the best thing mande. True friends understand, hope you have a lovely meet up.

Can you take a plus one? It doesn't have to be a man/partner

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and kindness. I have spoken to my friend and she understands. I will be meeting up with her and the bride along with our other friends before the big day. So all is good!

Must say I'd much prefer a friend to be honest- than pull a 'tummy bug' on the day- meaning too that the dinner would have to be paid for, and it is not cheap.

I am sure your friend will understand, particularly bearing in mind your recent diagnosis, go with what you want to do. If you have known the bride since she was a small child it might be nice to go to the church if you feel you can.

There are very few things in life you have to do, and going to a wedding reception is not one of them. Go to the church, if you wan to, then just go home.if you decide to do this, tell your friend so she can invite someone else to the reception, but just say you are delighted to have been invited and are looking forward to the ceremony, but will not go to the reception. No need to make up any excuses.

It’s kind that they’ve invited you, but trust me, they’ll have a lot more to think about than your not wishing to attend! Just tell the truth, I’m certain they’ll be fine with it

If you do decide to go to the ceremony, you have no need to explain to anyone there your reasons for not attending the reception. As has been said you can slip away during the photos. Or if someone says about the reception you could say you wanted to see them wed but sadly had a prior engagement for later that day.
If she is a good friend, she will understand. I think the idea of a girly lunch with the bride and her mum is a great suggestion.

Yes Sara65 is right, don't go if you are not comfortable with it.

You shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do. If she’s a good friend she’ll understand

I have been in a similar situation several times - first of all because I was the last in my circle of friends to get married (and always seemed to be in between relationships at the time) and when I was divorced, I was the gooseberry and seen by some females as looking to grab their husband/ partner !
So I stopped going to weddings, christenings and stuff and even though I explained that I felt uncomfortable going on my own, I lost several, who I thought, good friends as a consequence of not going to join in their big day.
I think you should just explain to your friend that you feel so uncomfortable on your own and you would love to go to the ceremony but not the reception and maybe have a girly lunch with the bride and your friend either before or after the wedding ?
If all else fails, a sudden attack of "tummy bug" on the day !

Just be honest with her- and don't fall out because of it.
Explain you feel very uncomfortable in crowds, and that you panic, etc. If she doesn't understand, then a pity.

I had the same experience recently about a friend’s wedding and was agonising about my response. Two friends from this forum advised me that it was ok to turn down the invitation. I explained to my friend why I found it socially very difficult to attend and she was fine. So Mande do what your heart tells you to do.