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AIBU

Over helpful neighbours

(82 Posts)
ExD1938 Tue 31-Dec-19 09:50:33

Our new next door neighbours have taken us under their wing as their good deed project and its wearing us out. They have a delightful, but very boisterous, four year old who is into everything and the father brings him round about twice a week - just at the time when I'm starting to make our supper.
Its lovely of them, but they want us to go to theirs for drinks and meals, and bbq's in summer - and at 80 and not in good health, I'm just not up to it, it exhausts me.
They are determined to 'look after' us whether we want it or not.
I don't want to hurt their feelings, but its wearing me out as I'm quite frail and have several health issues, so - any ideas of how I can gently cut down on all the unnecessary attention?
ps - we are not lonely, we have family nearby (grandkids and great grandkids) - but not a lot of spare energy.
Do you think they're lonely themselves or just being neighbourly?

ExD1938 Mon 06-Jan-20 11:15:32

Oh dear - I know of no one in this village who locks their doors when they're at home. Robber's paradise I suppose.
Yes, I do appreciate their interest and concern and know I'm lucky. Perhaps it'd be best if I just say after about 30 mins or so, that its time for my medication and I need a rest so 'see you tomorrow, 'bye' and see if that works.

ReadyMeals Fri 10-Jan-20 12:46:13

Ex, it's a good thing you're not naming the village! They could bus in a few crooks and clear the place out in an afternoon!

Beswitched Wed 22-Jan-20 09:56:56

I'm just worried that this thread will deter people from making friendly contact with elderly neighbours. Obviously it should be done with consideration and the realisation that not all, or indeed most, elderly people are living lonely isolated lives, dependent on the meals on wheels person for daily contact.
But many are, and community life and neighbourliness is already dying a death without those who are fortunate to remain independent or surrounded by family in old age implying that friendly and helpful neighbours are a bother and a nuisance.
Not getting at you OP, but some of the responses on here could deter others from making contact with elderly neighbours.

mike28939 Sun 09-Feb-20 23:51:03

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Bellanonna Sun 09-Feb-20 23:59:08

Reported !

welbeck Mon 10-Feb-20 02:04:33

i still don't see any advantage in leaving front/back doors unlocked, and many terrible possible disadvantages.
are your family not concerned at this practice.
why make yourself needlessly vulnerable.
round here people don't even answer the doorbell unless expected. I tend to shout out the window, no thank you, so that they don't think the house is unoccupied. I certainly wouldn't open the door to unknowns. I know that's a whole other discussion but better safe than sorry.
please be careful.