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We live in a very small flat, our living room is a kitchen/diner/lounge so I only have the bedrooms to 'escape' to. I find it difficult to stay in the living room whilst he’s exercising. He has a regime of seated exercises that he does every other day, on the off days he's doing knee exercises post knee surgery.
He does the seated equivalent of 'marching on the spot' and we have wooden floors to this, in itself, is noisy! He’s forcing himself, while exercising, to get his heart rate up. Whilst that’s commendable, for me in the same room, I can’t watch TV or read, or use my laptop as he’s so loud and, to put not to fine a point on it, he sounds like he’s performing a sex act!
I have two options, to either:
* go into the bedroom and read or watch TV while he’s exercising
* stay in the living room trying to watch TV or using my laptop but then I end up saying “oh gawd” to the ‘phew’ and puffing he does while he’s exercising.
Then he moans at me for not staying in the room or for criticising the noise he’s making and then moans about the fact that I don’t exercise. Like doing housework: changing the beds, hoovering, washing the wood and tile floors, cleaning the bathrooms (we have an en-suite meaning extra loo rolls and extra toilet cleaning) putting washing on and taking the rubbish out doesn’t get my heart rate up - I’m actually much more healthy than he is. He does try to help as he'll wash up ("let's not use the dishwasher as there's just the two of us") and make meals, but all the other housework just wouldn’t get done if I didn’t do it. His excuse for wanting me to stay in the room is that, if he started to feel ill, I should be there for him and I get that but it's not like our bedroom is so far away from our living room that I wouldn't hear him if he called me. I've tried to explain how I feel but it's difficult to verbalise without it hurting his feelings.
I’m at a loss to know how to deal with his attitude. I almost feel like I need to surreptitiously put in some ear plugs whilst he's exercising for some peace and quiet!
That's great that your husband is forcing himself to get his heart rate up. How about go in your bedroom and put music on to dance to to get your heart rate up too? Then you won't have to see/hear him and will have your own good endorphins and own space.
You could always check on him at intervals, like after every song?
PS I was told by a Dr that the best way to defend against covid is to get out of breath every day, so your husband is doing the best thing! It would be good for you to do the same, if you are able. I have to force myself to exercise every day too, but it's worth it for the "runner's high"
How I wish my husband would exercise, but I realise that doesn't help you.
If the weather is dry, go out for a walk while he does his exercises. If it isn't wear ear plugs or go into the bedroom taking your laptop or the ironing with you.
I had a new knee put in. It was the most painful thing I could imagine, far worse than my hysterectomy or appendectomy.
And then you have to force yourself to do the exercises. Absolutely excruciating. At one point I could have topped myself it was so bad and I was so depressed, feeling it would never end. The visiting nurse said it was the same for everybody on days 10 and 12 after the operation, and she had seen many grown men cry.
I heard of one woman who did not do the exercises, so her knee was finally left stuck, unable to straighten and unable to bend any further, so she had to have the operation again.
It was 6 months before I was right, but I could then finally walk and if I ever need the other knee done, I would have it in a flash. It changed my life.
But now, after having not walked for so long I have a heart problem, and need to walk every day, which I do huffing and puffing.
So good on your husband for exercising. He must be tough to be able to do it so enthusiastically.
I completely understand your point of view, but the alternative is unthinkable. Either you will have to spend your life looking after an invalid, or not have him at all.
My question is now that you have had advice what have you decided to do?
At least he doesn't fancy himself as a Shot Putter, Javelin thrower, or throwing the hammer.
Then you (and the neighbours) would have reason to complain.
At least he doesn't do gymnastic s on rings hung from the ceiling!
Buy him an exercise bike or treadmill for his birthday, or as a special treat.
Why don't you both go out for a nice long walk instead?
I feel sorry for your poor neighbours!
It reminds me of a video I saw a few days ago of a female tennis player practicing in her hotel room in Australia during the enforced quarantine period.
She was repeatedly hitting the ball against a wardrobe door.
What a nightmare for the other guests, unless of course they were all doing the same!
You probably feel a whole lot better just getting all that of your chest. I am sure there a lot of people out there at the moment who are finding being couped up 24/7 more than they can take. We are lucky to have a larger place to live so do not have to be in each others pockets all the time. I have been married 44 years in April but at the moment am on the lookout for a knitting pattern for a noose and before anyone comments that was a joke I think?
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