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AIBU

AIBU to think this is an odd thing to say?

(43 Posts)
sazz1 Sun 21-Feb-21 14:55:56

One of my friends rang me earlier to tell me her news. She's met someone online a few weeks ago and they've been texting and phoning each other. They met once for a dog walk in the park (both have dogs) and she says he's really nice, similar age and has a good job. She said she told him her dad cooked her a lovely dinner (she lives with her dad) and his reply was 'I'm not dating your dad' She said 'he's so cheeky' and laughed.
He lives on his own so I would think a better reply would be him asking for an invite after lockdown, or saying that's really nice do you share cooking or something along those lines. It seems an odd thing to say but I can't think why. What do others think? They are both in their 40s

123kitty Tue 23-Feb-21 15:42:40

If I were single, or had spent the best part of a year in lockdown, day in day out with one other person, I think I might even be feeling a little envious of my friend.

Nannan2 Mon 22-Feb-21 19:51:35

I agree with Urmstomgran- id have retorted "we arent 'dating' yet".

Daisend1 Mon 22-Feb-21 16:33:59

Not what you would call a' bundle of laughs' is he ?grin

Tempest Mon 22-Feb-21 16:02:47

If I were the man in this situation I would run for the hills. A forty year old woman living with her dad, who cooks for her. Her conversation topic, the wonderful meal cooked by daddy.
And to top of it all a friend who shares intimate conversations on a chat line with a group of grannies.

FarNorth Mon 22-Feb-21 16:02:33

my date rather abruptly told me he wasn't on a works outing with me! He did have a point!

Abrupt isn't good.
The comment doesn't sound like a joke, from what you've said.

I hope your friend doesn't rush into anything with this man.

Joesoap Mon 22-Feb-21 15:52:29

Too much talk about her Dad I think, but I am sure he was joking, might give her something to think about.

justwokeup Mon 22-Feb-21 13:52:49

Yes, you had to be there but the remark, on a first meeting, would have made me very uncomfortable. She knows nothing about him except things he has told her so the ‘good job’ could be true but might not. I’d be very wary, and wouldn’t meet up again, but no doubt she will and will find out more on future walks.

jaylucy Mon 22-Feb-21 13:52:07

It's not odd, he's not being possessive, your friend was talking a bit too much about her dad and the man just possibly got fed up with it!
I have had it happen to me when on a date - I got carried away talking about work after a bad day and my date rather abruptly told me he wasn't on a works outing with me! He did have a point!

riccib123 Mon 22-Feb-21 13:46:06

I guess without being there we can't really be sure what he meant, but I agree that it could be the first glimpse of a possessive person and if so, I think she needs to be careful. I don't see how it's a funny or cheeky comment, it's a bit rude and dismissive. If she lives with her Dad, the last thing she needs is suddenly feeling like her life is a tug of war game

Jillybird Mon 22-Feb-21 13:25:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moggie57 Mon 22-Feb-21 13:20:02

maybe she only has her dad for company .and she talks about him a lot . it was a joke ....he's dating her ,not her dad .....

muse Mon 22-Feb-21 13:03:22

I'm with Oopsadaisy on this.

It was a date sazz1. They talked lots before hand and arranged to meet. It's lockdown so a date couldn't have been made for a meal. My daughter has recently done exactly the same. On line meet up, ringing and walk in the park (no dog). She called it a date.

We don't know what arrangements were made at the end of the date.

I'm not saying it is the correct thing to say. The only assumption I'm making is, that the friend could have been talking about her dad a lot. I've heard of a statement like this being said if this did happen.

Teddy123 Mon 22-Feb-21 13:01:32

Your friend is happy. A bit of fun to break the lockdown monotony. I don't think it's any of your business! Even if it continues to a serious relationship, it will remain none of your business. Crikey! Am shaking my head in bewilderment.....

grandtanteJE65 Mon 22-Feb-21 12:56:38

I wonder if the poor man wasn't startled and a bit worried by the fact that a forty-year old woman is living with her father.

I was dating earlier than that and soon learned to beware of men who were living with their mothers!

Juicylucy Mon 22-Feb-21 12:52:59

Please warn your friend, as I’m talking from experience he is possessive and controlling, his comment means he doesn’t want her talking approvingly about anyone else, as she complimentary mentioned her dads dinner, he wants to commandeer her feelings and thoughts to just himself. I wished someone had warned me that comments like this were red flags it would have saved me from a 16 year relationship that was toxic.

geekesse Mon 22-Feb-21 12:39:38

Many people’s social skills have taken a hit during lockdown, and some people tend to open their mouth before their brain is fully engaged anyway. Clumsy? Possibly. Odd? No, not at all.

DaisyL Mon 22-Feb-21 12:39:04

Surely it all depends on his tone. Could be light-hearted or aggressive!

cornishpatsy Mon 22-Feb-21 12:35:32

Strange that out of a whole conversation this throw away comment, meaning its irevelant that her dad is cooking has taken on so much importance.

I think a case of over analising.

Theoddbird Mon 22-Feb-21 12:28:04

Just a joke...nowt strange or odd about it at all. He has a sense of humour...that is good.

Iam64 Mon 22-Feb-21 08:36:27

Yes to NotAGran55 ‘s comment at 07.42

nanna8 Mon 22-Feb-21 07:46:42

I am sure he wouldn’t want to be analysed just by one comment poor so and so.

BlueBelle Mon 22-Feb-21 07:43:49

Yep got to agree there notagran

NotAGran55 Mon 22-Feb-21 07:42:51

What I find odd is that you are gossiping about a friend on a public forum , giving out exact details of the conversation.

Nansnet Mon 22-Feb-21 02:09:50

Surely it all depends on the context in which it was said, and the tone he used to say it, and the only people who the know the answer to that are two people who were there. So much can be read into things by people who hear them 2nd hand. It's early days, your friend is happy, leave it at that.

Urmstongran Sun 21-Feb-21 18:33:08

Early days I suppose. It takes time to feel comfortable- meeting in person is better than messaging. Himself makes me laugh a lot, even after 50y but I bet that wouldn’t come over well unless interacting in person. Plus his spelling and grammar aren’t the best - he’d have never passed ‘Go’ as an internet date with me & that would’ve been a real shame!
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