AIBU to feel really offended by this?

We have all read and heard much about the conditions these people were living under, and how terrified most Afghans were about remaining in a country run by the Taliban.
Interpreters were convinced they and their families would be killed if they remained in the country.
So desperate were some to leave that, as we saw on tv news programmes, some fell to their death hanging onto planes taking off from the airport.
Women and girls we are told are very much second class citizens, denied an education or the chance to work.

This then is the situation back in their country, so the fact that some are complaining about where in the UK they will live, simply beggars believe.

I agree with Sazz1

I can’t believe how unsympathetic some people are. Imagine helping another country to keep peace, consequently being forced to leave your own country or be killed, leaving your parents and siblings behind, and then being placed hundreds of miles from the only other people from your homeland that you and your family know, and expected to be grateful for work as a pizza delivery driver. Welcome to the UK.

It's quite clear who has read and understood the article and who just wants to take a pop at those nasty ungrateful refugees, isn't it?

I picked up on this point:

We’re the only family from our hotel being sent there.

Fleeing their country, being given refuge here but then being separated from anyone else who is in the same situation must make them feel even more anxious and lonely.
Councils are offering help but perhaps only taking one or two families in their area which means, however kind local people may be, they may feel isolated from others who have been through the same trauma.

Wow! It is my strongly held view that yes, you are being unreasonable and I’ll tell you why I think that.

I read the article and am impressed with the clarity with which it’s written and have enough empathy and imagination to identify with many of the points he raises.

I lead a homelessness charity so I am in a better position than most to comment on the problems that successive GOVERNMENT CUTS have wrought upon people in this country who are poor, marginalised and homeless (and I include the working poor in that description). I work with them every single day. And I am sick to death of the comparisons made with refugees. It is not a case of shall we help this group or that - we honestly can help both!

I have a son-in-law who was killed in Afghanistan and I spent the two years after he died educating myself about the country and its people and culture. I also took in Afghan refugees who were so traumatised by what they had experienced that I used to cry to think of what they’ve been through. They have family who are, even as I write, being hunted down to be killed in Panjshir; a brother-in-law of theirs was killed last week. This is the daily burden of those who have escaped; the constant worry for those left behind. One way of dealing with trauma is to focus on other things; like how you feed your children if you can’t get a job, or how you help your children to settle if you’re moved away from people who have shared some of your traumatic experiences, as is the case being made in the article.

Today is the International Day of World Peace - and underlying that is a call for kindness, empathy and compassion. Do we really need to sow or amplify seeds of divisiveness today of all days?

Excellent , knowledgeable post GA, thank you.

I saw him interviewed a few weeks ago on the television, he just seemed to want to work so he could support his family and there was absolutely nothing offensive about him at all!

Grannyactivist that is a very good post

Some people are far too quick to take the odd sentence and extrapolate to something it isn’t !!

GA, your contribution here is thoroughly moving, practical, informed and enlightening. Thank you for taking the time and being so tolerant of those of us who have much less in- depth knowledge and experience.

It's really helpful GA thankyou.

Great post, GA.

OP before deciding whether to be offended, consider that the man’s life (and those of his family) was at risk because he had been working for the UK, so his resettlement here wasn’t a favour, but the repayment of a debt.

His life has been uprooted and moved thousands of miles as a result of his working for the British Army, which has also left Afghanistan.

Do you think he should have no right to comment on his experiences? Even if he was complaining (which I don’t think he was), he would be within his rights to do so, IMO.

Callistemon

sazz1 it is not just refugees who are not allowed to work in the professions in which they qualified.
A relative who came here from Australia was unable to work here as a medical professional without taking a further degree and passing an examination in the English language (all at her own expense).

Afraid they do the same in Australia, and in Germany. Not sure about taking another Degree though, creditation ? but yes a friend also had to take an English test in Australia, at her own expense, before she could work.

So he is concerned about his job prospects, his families security and how his family will survive without any access to money..... yes what an ungrateful swine.

Just out of curiosity. How annoyed were you when the UK Gov funded the terrorist association that has put this innocent man and his family through this horror?

Dear God you should hear some of the things I complain about.

Thanks Granny Activist for your informative post and for giving us hope that all is not lost?

Lucca

Some people are far too quick to take the odd sentence and extrapolate to something it isn’t !!

Sorry, if you mean me then yes, I did take one sentence (although I read the whole article) and yes, I do think that is a major concern.

Perhaps some people may think the best way to integrate is to separate people and send them all over the country, but personally I would think that their shared experiences and supporting each other in groups would be a comfort, at least for the foreseeable future.

Callistemon wrote: Perhaps some people may think the best way to integrate is to separate people and send them all over the country, but personally I would think that their shared experiences and supporting each other in groups would be a comfort, at least for the foreseeable future. I agree.

By coincidence I have just received a report into War Widows and their experiences of traumatic bereavement. One of the findings of the study is that there is a need for bereaved family members to access peer support and speak with someone who went through similar experiences. In the case of war widows they are usually dealing with a single traumatic bereavement, some refugees are dealing with multiple bereavements alongside the constant awareness that friends and relatives are in constant danger of death and torture.

I’ve tried but I really can’t understand being offended by this man. He has had to give up a lot and he must have been worried sick about his family. Is he supposed to be like a dog accepting crumbs from the rich ? I wouldn’t want to be rehoused into a city I was unfamiliar with, either. Good for him for letting his wants known.

In the early 1990's I did some work with refugees they came from a number of different countries, had different religions and different life experiences to me but guess what? They were just like me! They wanted similar things for their children, wanted to be able to provide for their family, had aspirations, dreams and worries. Many of them had been forced to leave nice homes and good jobs and had nothing, absolutely nothing of their old lives except memories. This is, of course, where we differed. If you find yourself resenting the help given to refugees, why not try using "someone just like me" instead of "refugee" I think it may help to chance your opinion.

Thank you Grannyactivist, for your heartfelt and knowledgeable post. I read the news link and am wondering at anyone feeling “offended”.

big thumbs up, GA, for your words and for your actions.

I try to imagine being forced to grab my family and flee the UK. Maybe I would be lucky enough to end up in a country willing to accept us. I can't speak the language, don't know the culture, have no job, I have few possessions, my children aren't in school, maybe I have health problems, maybe we are all traumatised by the horrors we have lived through.

All I would ask is that people in my new country are kind to me, patient as we negotiate the minefield of finding a home, having money, keeping healthy, learning a language, healing emotionally, terrified about those left behind. If I make mistakes forgive me and give me encouragement.

Callistemon

Lucca

Some people are far too quick to take the odd sentence and extrapolate to something it isn’t !!

Sorry, if you mean me then yes, I did take one sentence (although I read the whole article) and yes, I do think that is a major concern.

Perhaps some people may think the best way to integrate is to separate people and send them all over the country, but personally I would think that their shared experiences and supporting each other in groups would be a comfort, at least for the foreseeable future.

I absolutely did not mean you Callistemon!!

I had a newsletter from one of the refugee organisations today with an article by an Iranian doctor who has been here some years. He came across the channel on a boat and , of course, wasn't allowed to practice as a doctor. He got a job as a health care assistant which he said was very useful because although his English was good he had trouble understanding his patients (in Liverpool) He said going into a low level position gave him time to get used to the sort of expressions people used and how they spoke without risking any dire mistakes. Since then he has taken the exams he needed and is now able to practice as a doctor. He recommends that all immigrants with a profession should start on the ground floor and take the time to assimilate and acquire British qualifications.

Oh, ok!
I did pick one sentence though ?