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AIBU

AIBU to feel really offended by this?

(68 Posts)
sazz1 Tue 21-Sep-21 17:07:25

I read an interview with an Afghanistan refugee who worked as a CEO for the former government. His family has been brought to England for safety and put in a hotel awaiting housing. That's fine I am pleased we are caring for refugees.
But he had several complaints.
He's being rehoused in Scotland and wanted London to help him getting a job in an executive position.
His documents will take a few months before he can open a bank account, get a car, look for a job etc.
A colleague of his was sent to Germany where he's only a pizza delivery driver now. Etc etc.
He said he's worried about friends still in danger in Afghanistan.
My point is he's safe here, neighbours are friendly invited his family to meals, barbeques etc.
We have people using food banks, sleeping on the streets, children going without meals. He's being well cared for but expects the same standard of living he had previously.
I'm very offended by that. At least he's safe from the Taliban as is his friend in Germany. Surely he should be counting his blessings that his family are all safe, have food, a roof over their heads and friendly neighbours not moaning about being rehoused in Scotland.
What do others think?

luluaugust Sat 02-Oct-21 13:03:45

I don't think he is moaning but what a shock we must all be! I am sure that one of the problems is the vast difference between expectations and reality. If the person is well educated and ready to work they probably can't imagine that they wont be able to be of some use. Also as I have said before once they are here in Britain they are trapped, no possibility of going off round Europe or any where else. Like the people waiting for a boat from France they are going to spend a lot of time in a hotel room and then be offered a home in places they have never heard of.Very sad for everyone.

GagaJo Sat 02-Oct-21 09:07:34

vegansrock

The big problem is that asylum seekers are kept hanging in limbo for years, in France they are processed within 6 months, in the U.K. it quite usual for it to be 6 or more YEARS. They aren’t allowed to work in this time. Why shouldn’t they be allowed to work and contribute , after , say 6 months of application ? At least they could be contributing something.

Yep, my friends. Now up to NINE years. They're approved, but their visas aren't finished. It is having ridiculous effects on them. Neither of the adults can work. 19 year old daughter can't go to university.

They ARE housed properly now but spent 8 1/2 years in hostels and a family of 4 in a one bedroom flat. I think the parents are OKish because they remember what they fled from, but the 19 year old is suffering depression because her life is in limbo.

JaneJudge Sat 02-Oct-21 09:03:39

I don't know how anyone could get public transport to Yarl's Wood. It's in the middle of nowhere.

The hostels (most of which seem to be derelict office buildings) are run by private companies. They get hell of a lot of money for cashing in on people's desperation.

welbeck Fri 01-Oct-21 20:22:17

i believe the standard maintenance allowance for asylum seekers is £35 per person per week.
they may be housed in hostels.
they have no recourse to public funds and are not allowed to work.
they have bail conditions whereby they have to present at an immigration centre to sign on regularly.
these are often in distant locations, and they have to find their way, with expensive transport, several buses and trains and walking. they are often in desolate industrial estates.
if they are late, they may have their application rejected.
it is a very hostile environment.

NotSpaghetti Fri 01-Oct-21 16:36:58

Exactly Jane

JaneJudge Fri 01-Oct-21 10:39:14

I might be repeating myself so I apologise if I am, but how much are companies like Serco getting paid for detaining them too? surely it would be better and more economical (and more humane) to process people quickly so they can integrate and work.

Interested Fri 01-Oct-21 10:30:02

So he wants to work for a living. I think the system is flawed. Asylum seekers should be allowed to work too. Why are we supporting people who are perfectly capable of getting jobs and paying rent and tax, and also be traceable through their NHS numbers?
The real tax thieves who are using the system are people like this.
lloydhardy.com/news/Jacob_Rees_Mogg_Makes_Billions_From_No_Deal_Brexit/

Polarbear2 Wed 29-Sep-21 08:46:07

Yes you are being unreasonable. I wonder how you would be if tables were turned. Walk a mile in his shoes…

vegansrock Wed 29-Sep-21 07:40:46

The big problem is that asylum seekers are kept hanging in limbo for years, in France they are processed within 6 months, in the U.K. it quite usual for it to be 6 or more YEARS. They aren’t allowed to work in this time. Why shouldn’t they be allowed to work and contribute , after , say 6 months of application ? At least they could be contributing something.

NotSpaghetti Wed 29-Sep-21 07:21:50

AIBU to feel really offended by this?

Yes.

Doodledog Tue 28-Sep-21 21:44:08

Absolutely, maddyone. My heart goes out to him, and to the other refugees (and to those who didn’t make it out of Afghanistan).

maddyone Tue 28-Sep-21 21:37:07

I think he’s right in that when people arrive here legitimately as he and his family have done, then there really should be schemes set up to help them settle in. He says he and his family need to learn about British culture and way of life in order for them to settle and fit in.
He clearly feels frustrated that his skills are not being used and that stuck in a hotel, however generous of the British people, he is unable to move forward in his life.
I hope that things improve for him, and that his longed for integration with the British people happens for him.
Keeping people safe is not enough. We need to help them settle, integrate, and move forward with their lives in a productive way, both for themselves and for society.
When people arrive illegally, then it’s a different matter, but these people arrived legally, with our help and support and they should not be abandoned in a hotel for months.

mokryna Tue 28-Sep-21 20:36:09

It must be very difficult for some refugees who have had a high education and not be recognized for it and not allowed to work, as they used to, in their new country.

My daughter’s friend arrived here in France, in the 80s aged ten. The family escaped a terrible regime and had lost not only their possessions but also their way of life, house, staff etc, however they were happy to be safe here. Her parent’s large family were split all over the world in different countries.

GagaJo Tue 28-Sep-21 20:04:02

I have friends who are asylum seekers. They've been here 9 years. Their cases are STILL not resolved. Their 19 year old daughter can't go to university because their case isn't settled. Dad and mum can't work yet. Mum is a trained teacher. Dad was a publisher.

They're happy to be here and be safe. But 9 years????

Ali08 Tue 28-Sep-21 19:54:59

sazz1

Deedaa your post highlights the main point that I felt offended by.
I think that this person really wanted to move to London and would be trying to secure a similar job to what he had in Afghanistan, ie a very well paid CEO. I think he didnt want to go to Scotland as London would be a better chance of obtaining this sort of job, not for the company of fellow refugees. And I feel that he saw delivering pizzas as beneath him. That's what I found offensive. I feel that all jobs are essential none are more worthy than others. We would be in a right mess without cleaners, bin collectors, shop staff etc.

I agree with you, sazz1.
It sounds to me that he expected to be put straight into a position of CEO somewhere in London!
He has a roof over his & his family's heads, he is safe, he has good neighbours & they're in a decent city.
There are a lot worse places he could be, & a lot worse positions he could be in!
Surely, if he wants to work that much, then starting at the bottom in this new country is much better than nothing at all!!!

Ali08 Tue 28-Sep-21 19:48:47

I wonder if he, or others, could drive hazardous materials lorries?
We could do with some to get the fuel to the service stations!!

sazz1 Fri 24-Sep-21 15:25:28

Deedaa your post highlights the main point that I felt offended by.
I think that this person really wanted to move to London and would be trying to secure a similar job to what he had in Afghanistan, ie a very well paid CEO. I think he didnt want to go to Scotland as London would be a better chance of obtaining this sort of job, not for the company of fellow refugees. And I feel that he saw delivering pizzas as beneath him. That's what I found offensive. I feel that all jobs are essential none are more worthy than others. We would be in a right mess without cleaners, bin collectors, shop staff etc.

Callistemon Wed 22-Sep-21 22:18:33

Oh, ok!
I did pick one sentence though ?

Deedaa Wed 22-Sep-21 22:18:06

I had a newsletter from one of the refugee organisations today with an article by an Iranian doctor who has been here some years. He came across the channel on a boat and , of course, wasn't allowed to practice as a doctor. He got a job as a health care assistant which he said was very useful because although his English was good he had trouble understanding his patients (in Liverpool) He said going into a low level position gave him time to get used to the sort of expressions people used and how they spoke without risking any dire mistakes. Since then he has taken the exams he needed and is now able to practice as a doctor. He recommends that all immigrants with a profession should start on the ground floor and take the time to assimilate and acquire British qualifications.

Lucca Wed 22-Sep-21 22:00:46

Callistemon

Lucca

Some people are far too quick to take the odd sentence and extrapolate to something it isn’t !!

Sorry, if you mean me then yes, I did take one sentence (although I read the whole article) and yes, I do think that is a major concern.

Perhaps some people may think the best way to integrate is to separate people and send them all over the country, but personally I would think that their shared experiences and supporting each other in groups would be a comfort, at least for the foreseeable future.

I absolutely did not mean you Callistemon!!

wildswan16 Wed 22-Sep-21 14:34:09

I try to imagine being forced to grab my family and flee the UK. Maybe I would be lucky enough to end up in a country willing to accept us. I can't speak the language, don't know the culture, have no job, I have few possessions, my children aren't in school, maybe I have health problems, maybe we are all traumatised by the horrors we have lived through.

All I would ask is that people in my new country are kind to me, patient as we negotiate the minefield of finding a home, having money, keeping healthy, learning a language, healing emotionally, terrified about those left behind. If I make mistakes forgive me and give me encouragement.

welbeck Wed 22-Sep-21 14:34:07

big thumbs up, GA, for your words and for your actions.

Lauren59 Wed 22-Sep-21 14:26:48

Thank you Grannyactivist, for your heartfelt and knowledgeable post. I read the news link and am wondering at anyone feeling “offended”.

foxie48 Wed 22-Sep-21 13:35:33

In the early 1990's I did some work with refugees they came from a number of different countries, had different religions and different life experiences to me but guess what? They were just like me! They wanted similar things for their children, wanted to be able to provide for their family, had aspirations, dreams and worries. Many of them had been forced to leave nice homes and good jobs and had nothing, absolutely nothing of their old lives except memories. This is, of course, where we differed. If you find yourself resenting the help given to refugees, why not try using "someone just like me" instead of "refugee" I think it may help to chance your opinion.

nanna8 Wed 22-Sep-21 12:03:20

I’ve tried but I really can’t understand being offended by this man. He has had to give up a lot and he must have been worried sick about his family. Is he supposed to be like a dog accepting crumbs from the rich ? I wouldn’t want to be rehoused into a city I was unfamiliar with, either. Good for him for letting his wants known.