Worries about later life - and are there solutions in technology?

Yes jodi. We do have to look after ourselves more and with a bit of research there is a lot we can do for ourselves as we get older.

The main thing is to stay open minded and never think " that won't work for me".... I do have a problem with people who say that. What makes THEM so special that something which works for lots of others couldn't work for them?

Suggest that folk take responsibility for themselves and try a therapy or treatment which does not involve the GP and they shudder at the thought yet constantly complain they are not being looked after properly.

Like emoticon!

Am staying with my DD to look after the DGDs for half-term. So far today I have used the ipad and the laptop as usual, taught myself to use the poddy-thingy coffee maker and the milk-frother, set up a second kindle to my account for OH's birthday surprise and set up the new sewing machine that my SiL bought as he thought it would be nice for the girls to learn to use one while I am here. Now which was the most complex, difficult, illogical and contrary of these tasks? No prizes for guessing - the sewing machine. So before we put ourselves down, let's just remember that many of us mastered the most cantankerous device known to woman and ask why nobody has come up with anything better...

I am 80years and at the moment quite fit and well except for a few aches and pains and a hearing problem.
I would be lost without my computer, although I must say that I can manage Email's and Gransnet but other things to do on the computer are way out of my depth now. For example -: trying to get my Nectar points and a Gas Engineer to call by computer as requested by letter from the said company, I got completely lost and confused.

To much technology can be confusing and isn't to good for the elderly, well not for me, but my Computer and Kindle I would be lost without

Dementia is another worry, my memory isn't what it used to be, is it the onset of Dementia I ask myself, No a thousand' times no.

rinky some very good advice here. I've watched my MiL deteriorate and in the process found out much that could help me avoid this as long possible. So much could have been delayed or avoided altogether.

Firstly, try to stay a healthy weight and not invite diabetes. The complications that come with this condition are disabling and life threatening. Keep moving if you can. Eat vegetables. Get your vitamins.
Try not to become incontinent. Pelvic floor exercises (eg Kegel) really do help. When my MiL started experiencing incontinence she cut right back on fluids, but this only irritated her bladder more and she ended up with a urinary infection which sent her gaga ( the medical term). I didn't know that this could cause mental confusion but apparently it does.
Try not to become a grumpy old lady who says 'no' to everything. Because she refuses to embrace some communication technology eg email she has little contact with her family who live away.
Get a GP who listens and is up to date and sympathetic. I had to accompany my MiL to an appointment as I could not believe some of the tripe she was reporting back from her GP eg a cholesterol reading of 7.9 was acceptable and normal. When challenged and realised that MiL had informed relatives he changed his tune - too late. She suffered a series of strokes within 48 hours and is now in a home. I feel guilty we didn't intervene sooner, but we live 200 miles away and her daughter who lives close by hadn't the nouce to see what was happening.
I hate the phrase 'lessons have been learned' but in this case I will use what we have learned to try to help myself and others.

My mum, 88, has her problems with memory as I have documented. One of the things which helped a lot was getting regular B12 injections for her. These are 3 monthly and have helped enormously but we are trying to get this changed to 2 monthly as she goes downhill after that. Plus she is more likely to get chest or water infections in that 'down' period.

NHS says three months is ok for all but further research shows that it is different for individuals so we are fighting for a change. 3 months is just a policy thing. It is not expensive to give.

Asking for possibility of B12 for some mentally infirm may help but probably not for those in later stages unfortunately, though I would say its alway worth trying.
Mum was in a terrible state before these shots were given

B12 is essential for all sorts of things including depression and memory. We are now giving mum an oral spray for the time being when she needs it. This can be bought on the Internet.

Lack of vits and minerals are a major problem as we get older mainly due to malabsorption rather than not eating properly. My sisters and i take vitamin and mineral supplements to help this.

When I was very ill at only 50 I could not remember a phone number from reading it in the book to dialling it. Felt really worried that I was getting dementia of some sort. Started this vitamin regime as a desperate measure and now have excellent memory and feel really well 16 years later.

Also there is a lot of research being done into Functional Fitness which shows that if people are shown small exercises to do which help to get them moving again or stop the deterioration, they gain extra years of confidence and mobility. They are also finding out about old people's problems with gait, posture and stance and helping to correct long standing habits which compound problems.

You may be able to find your university has a physical research dept and they may want volunteers!

I down-sized to private sheltered housing when 61yrs.,which released £40,000 which enabled son to buy house in Manchester! Completed Degree via Open University after retired. I do Vol. Bereavement visiting (beginning 18yrs. ago ) and also visit many old people; plus baby-sitting, so am kept busy without worrying about expence. If/when life shrinks to being housebound,having people around is, to me, very beneficial and so sheltered housing is great. Contacting friends via e-mail and text keeps the cost down too without limiting the enjoyment.

I was in a similar position to Meadowgran as I saw my mother, who lived to 96, decline into dementia. Being unable to lock her door or leave pans on were a daily concern. Every point made by Meadowgran I recognise. My concern is that as we use technology more, for shopping, banking, utilities etc, how can someone in old age who does not know what day it is continue to use their computer. There is no way I can remember my log in details for the sites I use now so how will I cope if/when dementia strikes?

I never thought I would embrace technology but now I could not be without emails, smart phones, skype etc. My sister lives in Martinique & we communicate regularly both having such different lives. I take photos on my mobile of the grandchildren & send them to the family because we live in deepest Devon & they don't very often see them.
My biggest worry is dying before the latest grandchildren are very old because they need me so badly as does my daughter.
Dementia is a worry but what can we do about it.
Old folks homes sound a death knell & cruel Carers the last straw. Now that I drink a lot of water, being starved of water would finish me off. Finance is a problem long term having no pension, no income. I am lucky to live near one lot of grandchildren but they are very tiny & I am rather old & it exhausts me looking after them. So keeping fit enough is my main worry.

Ah! Sorry for misleading you Mischief

Lucky you Elegran we have no concessions for the retired in England for adult courses unless you are receiving benefits.

Grannylin, I would be perfect for this but unfortunately my nearest record office is about 40 miles away. I would love to do something like that. Bet you love it.
Elegran, I didn't realise further education could be so economical after retirement. I will certainly look for that. Many thanks. I do transcribe for a couple of online websites and like to do this during the winter, but it doesn't help my spreading rear, sitting for long periods of time, then I have to exercise to compensate. There, another class I can join.

Thanks for your contribution.

Mischief Have you looked at the local authority further education classes where you live? There are courses in everything you can imagine and more, and they are not just boring lectures, or patronising "something to entertain the old dears". There are serious learning projects with exams, local history walks, and hobbies of all kinds. Prices for retired or unwaged people are in the region of £20 for ten hour-long weekly sessions. There is always at least one person in the class who turns out to be a prospective friend, and others who are pleasant to chat to.

FreeBMD are transcribing the records of births marriages and deaths for england and Wales, and there are other online groups transcribing census returns and other records.

The best bits of technology I have are my mobility scooter and the electric hoist which means I can get it in and out of my car on my own. I also have a fold up lightweight one which I can take on cruises. It weighs only 23k.

My fears - skin hunger; not being able to afford or mend my PC etc; not being able to keep up with latest technology as it changes so fast; not being able to gadabout either because of physical problems or lack of money; losing my independence & being controlled by people who don't understand me or my needs.

mischief do you live anywhere near your public records office? I do a really interesting voluntary job at mine...cataloguing Victorian deeds, scanning old images, cleaning old documents, doing my own research with everything I need at my fingertips and meeting interesting people.You would be perfect for this

Hi

I am 63 and still working full time. I am fit and healthy, not overweight and am enjoying life. I originally intended to work till 65, take my pension, sell my house and settle down to enjoying my retirement. Now it is getting closer things have changed. I am about to take my pension as I can't afford to live without it, even though I am working and I now intend to work as long as I can, just as long as I can do my job. I will know when that time has come.

I am terrified of retirement. With spending all day 8:30am to 5pm working and meeting people, I find that going home and shutting the door is lovely. I enjoy my own company, and a couple of close friend's, but when I retire I will not have anything to take the place of the work I do now and the company it provides.

"Well you can join some groups and get some hobbies", I hear you say. Yes, I would love to but I don't have a private pension, only the state pension to look forward to and I can't see me being able to afford memberships. I already have insular hobbies like reading, gardening, computing, family history, walking, etc., which don't cost any money but they don't get me meeting people either.

When I draw my state and deferred pension, which will be soon, I hope to tool myself up with the latest technology, a smart TV, tablet, (yes, Skype for my granddaughter), new home phone etc, as I love technology and couldn't bear to be without it.

It has been a big decision to take my pension now instead of 2014, as once this decision is made there is no turning back. I feel the same way about giving up work. I'm probably being silly but that's how I feel.

I have a facebook account but only use it to contact my children and see what they are doing. I have a twitter account but don't use it. I have memberships to several family history websites and pay subscriptions for a couple of magazines. Whether I can keep these up after retirement remains to be seen but it looks like life will be very different.

No I'm not depressed, just taking stock of the future and what I think it holds for me. It may be different when it actually arrives but until then the cup is half full as always and 'there is always someone worse off than me'.

My Mother became so deaf that she could no longer use the telephone. I am also becoming deaf and am so thankful that if the telephone ceases to be of use to me I will be able to communicate with my family by email also my G.P. etc. if neccessary. What a boon! Thankfully many care homes now how provision for the use of a P.C.

I make heavy use of the computer to communicate with my friends and support groups. Many of them I will never meet in 3D. I do have a need for real life interaction though, and so far I am able to get out and about enough.

I'm already in an old folks flat and most of the residents just sit in their rooms all day, or if they are lucky spend some time chatting with a neighbour. I don't know how technology would help them - it's more likely to work as people have said - Oh, the bell / alarm / reminder didn't work so we didn't know you were in need.

As others have said, my main worry is dementia. It seems Alzheimers runs in my family so my chances are not good. Perhaps technology could make me a more manageable inmate, but I find that idea quite repulsive.

Here is a challenge to technology! My Mum has many problems with dementia at 87 and one of the biggest is that she can't lock or unlock her front door so it is permanently unlocked. It is one of the newer UPVC ones where you have to turn the handle up before you turn the key and Mum can't master that. She has also now "lost" the keys. A big worry for the family. Is there a way of locking her front door that allows her to open it if she wants to but locks itself automatically when she comes in or goes out but also lets carers and family in without my Mum needing to know anything about unlocking the door other than turning a simple recognisable handle. She would lose a key or an ID or swipe card and can't remember numbers or any new instructions for say iris recognition or a particular way of operating the door. There also mustn't be any parts she can get to or unplug. The door would also have to reassure her, say verbally, that it is locked or unlocked or possibly via a visual display. So I am thinking that the door system would have to recognise her in some way and automatically operate without her needing to do anything other than approach it normally and turn the handle and open or close the door. Any ideas?

Ten years ago Mum could use a computer but not now she can't even work the Sky remote.My Mum can no longer make a telephone call, operate her central heating, use a cooker, cook a meal, remember any instructions, remember dates or events that happened five minutes ago. I can only hope that within ten years we can find a proper cure for dementia. As an alternative I would like some of the smart system tech start up developers f to spend a week with my Mum and see what they can come up with to help keep her safe .

Seeing my 87 year old Mum with dementia has made me realise that my key fear for the future is that if like my Mum I too have dementia not accepting or realising that I have it and like my Mum being aggressively unwilling to accept any help out of pride. One of the things that really irritates me about the kind of adverts put out by the Alzheimers Society is that the people they feature seem to be nice old ladies that realise that they have a problem with their memory or like Terry Pratchett even give speeches about it!! That is not the reality of true dementia where the person will not accept that there is something wrong. How do you help them in that situation?

The thing that worries me about getting older is how suddenly things happen. I've seen older friends' lives change very sharply after a fall or a bereavement - things can knock you sideways.

I'm not sure how technology can ease those sudden changes - though I do agree, online friendships make a big difference. You feel you are part of something.

MrsJimJam, there are lots of things you can get to help if you can't use a mouse. Sometimes just slowing down the mouse is enough, but there are joysticks, trackerballs, voice input, etc etc. Large print, different screen colours, spoken screen text can all help visual problems. We used to work with children who were so physically disabled that they could only use an eyelid to communicate with a word processor or a speech synthesiser. Anything is possible.

We help out my elderly parents (both late 80s) who now live in a sheltered flat. Both completely compus mentis but physically disabled by severe arthritis.

Two major problems; they can survive on internet shopping etc so will not starve but they find being confined by their physical infirmities very frustrating. I would call it 'cabin fever'. They feel trapped indoors. Their friends can't take them out because friends of a similar age can't lift two folding wheelchairs into any normal car, nor can they push them around when they get anywhere. So while friends can visit them, they long for more change of scene and we are the only people available to take them out.

Secondly, as eyesight fails (one of them) the other one's parkinson's makes use of a computer mouse extremely difficult, so although they have managed to use the computer well so far I can see that this will not continue indefinitely.

Don't know what the answers are, just know that extreme old age is a very tough time to go through. Am not looking forward to it.

I am in total agreement with Libmoggy. The fear is that technology will give an excuse for neglect-oh the buzzer didn't work so we didn't know the drip was empty/ the bed was wet/the meal hadn't come,so it's not our fault.

I tend to think on the same lines as Mamie when new housing is built or supported housing revamped after tenants have moved out that internet/support systems should be built into the property,we have a system via our telephone line which works throughout the apartment so if there is a problem we press the button on the phone in either bedroom/lounge and help is at hand right away it does not mean that we are classed as having special needs etc it just gives family peace of mind that we are safe and sound.SusanJ makes a really good case for technology in the home as a great many people would be so lonely without their virtual friendships.