Help with daycare costs

It surely depends on everyone's circumstances. My daughter has a 4 year old and is currently on maternity leave with her second child. When she returns to work it will be full time and nursery costs will take most of her salary. Yes she has a partner who also works full time but he earns less than my daughter. As her parents we are in a position financially to assist with nursery fees so will do so. However not everyone can do this and grandparents should not be expected to pay if it will put a burden on their own finances

My daughter works 3 days a week and I feel guilty that because I live far away from her I am unable to offer any care. I know his care per day ( he's 2 ) is £55.00 per day.

Thank you all for your suggestions and good advice.

I'm beginning to feel that if you can't look after your own children, don't have them. Those years before school are so precious- wait until you are in a position to enjoy them. I do look after my grandchildren one day a week and I don't mind but I do wish that their parents were able to enjoy those years instead of the constant rush/pressure of ferrying them to and from caters.

We’re looking after our 4 year old granddaughter one to two days a week on average as our daughter has gone back to work full-time. It’s fascinating to have this time together, to see her grow, and to influence her development.

I’m also a director for ChildsSide, a company with new programmes for grandparents providing any care for their grandchildren. Our Older Yet Wiser Project workshops in Leeds are helping grandparents to invest in their grandchildren’s lives - in those critical days of life. Taking care of ourselves is one of the topics in our six week free course, following feedback on these very issues.

We’re seeing more and more grans helping out in a variety of ways, hopefully with what is right for their ability and finances. We have so much to offer at this stage in their lives and balancing this with what we can actually offer is what matters most.

I was lucky when my children were small I worked 20hrs mainly nights and oh sister looked after them I sometimes didn't get much sleep but it was worth it it meant I kept my job and still had time with children oh did overtime when he could we weren't loaded but better off than a lot of people we now look after gdaughter one day a week so only needs to go to nursery 2dayd ds lives away but we help them when needed wouldn't want to do child care full time it's our time now .

Ds/dil are paying in the region of £1300 pm for childcare for the two small dgs. It's a mixture of nursery and childminder. We are 100 miles away so can only help out when one of them is unwell and we go up for a few days. Ds/dil aren't working for cars/holidays but to buy a decent house for their family. It will ease a little this Autumn when dgs 1 is 3 and gets his free nursery place for 15 hours pw. I would help out with these costs if I could. I have done in the past when dil was pregnant and I paid for a cleaner for 6 months, but that was a small amount for a short term.

My 3 year old grand-daughter goes to nursery for 2 half-days each week. My son & DiL both work very long and antisocial hours in poorly paid retail jobs and the nursery charges total one full day of my son's salary each week so I offered to pay half of this. Even as an OAP I have enough pension income to afford this and I have the pleasure of knowing that I'm relieving a little of the financial pressure, as well as the pleasure of spending lots of time outside nursery hours with a gorgeous, giggling, chattering little girl. This is a bittersweet pleasure as my husband and I used to share her care but his recent death means I do so alone now but have huge fun doing Pepper Pig jigsaws and reading The Gruffalo for the 105th time...

It is hard when reading of nursery costs to equate it to the very poor pay which nursery workers get. They have to do considerable continuing study but the rewards ,apart from satisfaction ,are dire.

I have helped out with an occasional contribution rather an committing to a regular payment. Sometimes it has been for childcare sometimes for other things. I think it s very natural to want to help your family whether it is practical "minding" or financial. Our instinct as parents!

Help if you want to, but make sure first that neither your DD or her partner can buy childcare vouchers through their employer as this is done as a salary sacrifice scheme so the equivalent of the tax man putting in a contribution too! It doesn't work for everyone but it's worth investigating. Perhaps you can then buy 'extras' like shoes, coats, etc. which are possibly not quite such a regular financial commitment.