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Anyone had experience of this?

(63 Posts)
teabagwoman Sun 12-Aug-18 08:14:27

My 4 year old DGD has never shown the slightest interest in drawing, colouring, painting or any other craft activity. At nursery, if they try to involve her in a craft activity, she says “no thank you” very politely and firmly and heads in the opposite direction. If there’s absolutely nothing else to do she will produce a few, very small squiggles with a pencil and that’s that. We’ve all tried to create plenty of opportunities but you can take a horse to water......... Has anyone else had experience of this? How did it turn out? Do I need to worry?l

Boolya Tue 14-Aug-18 21:43:01

At age 3 my daughter could only manage to draw a pin man, our niece at age 3 could draw a person with all limbs and facial features. Our daughter went on to gain a 1st class honours degree in design and illustration and makes her living as a very successful graphic designer. The moral here is to be patient, some things take time!

Bridgeit Tue 14-Aug-18 16:06:49

Ohhps sorry already been suggested, I don’t think you need to be concerned

Bridgeit Tue 14-Aug-18 16:05:25

Just occurred to me if you would have the same concerns if she didn’t like physical activities , dancing , for example.

Nannarose Tue 14-Aug-18 11:51:30

Gross motor skills can merge with fine motor skills. In some education philosophies, children 'draw' in the air, with a ribbon, or a glow light, then do large paintings before they do smaller things. I think in some yoga, you make patterns in the air, if not, then make up your own version!

teabagwoman Mon 13-Aug-18 19:41:09

No problem Justwokeup and you've given me an idea. I used to do yoga and can perhaps get her to join me in a few moves. Good for rainy days. Mind you she may have to help me up off the floor afterwards!

justwokeup Mon 13-Aug-18 19:24:13

Oops sorry, teabag missed your post while I was typing (and eating). blush

justwokeup Mon 13-Aug-18 19:15:40

It must be a bit sad for you too if you love an activity and your DGD doesn't. And the same for her of course. I think Eglantine's creative ideas are great. Your DGD will join in if she wants to. I loved craft and reading with my DC but DGC shows little interest in craft and runs to the other end of the room when I pick up a story book! But I read aloud 'to myself' and gradually DGC sidles past to look at the pictures, then later on I hear a little voice repeating the story perfectly! On the other hand, my DGC is already an expert in yoga, running, football and climbing. Perhaps you could join your DGD in some of the many suitable outdoor activities for her - activity toys in the garden, swimming, kids gym, dancing, drumming ... Have fun. grin

teabagwoman Mon 13-Aug-18 18:20:05

Thank you all for your advice and suggestions. I have tried not to worry about this but I have great difficulty with fine motor activities and worry that she will have to cope with the same difficulties at school that I did. She does have excellent gross motor skills however and loves the gymnastics class that I take her to. You’ve made me realise that I may be doing more harm than good so, for the time being, Nana’s is going to be a craft free zone and we’ll see how things go. Thanks once again.

Eglantine21 Mon 13-Aug-18 18:07:33

Oh I just love flat pack furniture ! It’s one of my favourite occupations.

And no thank you to painting unless it’s redecorating a room. Or drawing unless it’s a garden or house plan.

We all have different ways of being creative.

Legs55 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:47:13

I was never much of a child for drawing & painting although I loved the "Magic Painting" books. As a teenager I hated sewing, never learnt to knit but in my late teens onwards I started to make my own clothes. DD was hopeless, even at College I had to make one of her projects as she was totally out of her depth, as an Adult she is now very creative.

DGS1 has balance problems (mild Dyspraxia), he swims very well, has just learnt to ride a bike. The key is in the way he's taught to do things, he loves reading & playing with figures, wonderful imagination.

I wouldn't worry too much if a 4 year old doesn't want to do drawing etc, the more you push, the more likely that she will dig her heels in & not do it. Don't put her off activities for life, try & find out what she likes doing. She sounds very determined, I was very like her as a child, she will find her own level & School will soon inform her Parents if there are concerns.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 17:02:50

and put together flat pack furniture.
Truly impressive, annodomini!

At nursery, if they try to involve her in a craft activity, she says “no thank you” very politely and firmly and heads in the opposite direction
I like this child, even though I've never met her!

Nannarose Mon 13-Aug-18 16:59:17

I am sure that nursery are keeping an eye on her. The concern is really about fine motor skills ( needed in a wide range of occupations, including neurosurgery!) but they can be encouraged in other ways, as lots of grans have suggested.

annodomini Mon 13-Aug-18 16:10:26

Does it matter if the child is not what we call 'creative'? I can't say I've ever been recognisably creative but I can follow instructions, knit, bake and put together flat pack furniture. I was delighted to be able to give up art classes at the age of 15. My art marks always dragged my average down! Teabag, does your GD show interest in music, singing, dancing? She might be more interested in participative activities than in making marks on paper.

Kim19 Mon 13-Aug-18 15:27:46

This resonates horribly with me. One of my sons was exactly like this. I put it down to him being clumsy and having no success in that arena. However, I did mention it to any medic we happened to be seeing for something different. I will never forget 'Does he eat well, sleep well and do his bowels move regularly?' 'Yes' 'Then STOP fussing!' At the age of eight this same child was referred to a specialist for lack in the airts of coordination. What did the professor say in a severely chastising manner? 'Mother, why had this child not been brought to me much sooner?' He was diagnosed with dyspraxia and I have never felt so guilty in my life. Still do. This diagnosis has not kept him back too much but it could have been so much better had the original medics been more perceptive and aware. I will always regret that I didn't 'fuss' more. It was my first attempt at Motherhood and that's all I can say in my pathetic defence.

Beejo Mon 13-Aug-18 15:12:48

I'd be glad she's so polite, knows her own mind and is confident enough to express it!
I love this new generation of strong girls.
So she may not grow up interested in painting, sewing or baking - maybe she'll be a brain surgeon or a nuclear physicist, an alternative therapist, a concert pianist or have her own on-line business. The world is wide open for girls. Hooray!

sarahellenwhitney Mon 13-Aug-18 15:11:53

teabagwoman .What most children of her age would be interested in appears of no interest to your GC.
Do not as yet be concerned. Most likely she requires far more stimulation than crayons and toys can give her
See what happens when she enters into full time education.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 14:30:05

The other thing we did was to go for a walk, collect fallen leaves and make an 'autumn collage'.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 14:29:04

Oh - quizqueen already said that
smile
We have an old easel which we put outside so that they could slosh paint around - much more fun than carefully colouring in with pencils.

Jalima1108 Mon 13-Aug-18 14:27:42

She may enjoy using those fat pavement chalks on your patio or paths outside - it feels just a little bit naughty (but soon washes away when it rains).

quizqueen Mon 13-Aug-18 14:01:05

Would she be interested in doing something 'large scale' outside- fill empty spray cleaning bottles with watered down paint and get busy on large old packing boxes, have a bowl of soapy water and a large decorating brush and 'paint ' the fence, chalk on the pavement, stick bits together to make a junk model, cut pictures out of a magazine and glue them to make a collage ( or just rip them out), cooking activities and so on so she realises that craft doesn't have to be too formal. You can join in the activity too just to get her interested.

GabriellaG Mon 13-Aug-18 14:01:01

Nothing to worry about. She's probably really 'arty' (no, not artist) and outdoorsy.
Swimming, gymnastics, riding, dancing (not necessarily ballet) gardening...?
Creativity come in lots of guises. Could she get involved with local theatre productions? It might be worth looking into activities such as these rather than the 'sitting down' variety.

TheOldDear Mon 13-Aug-18 13:29:20

When I was at junior school (many years ago!) I flatly refused to do needlework. In the end they gave up and allowed me to read to the class instead. I was a latchkey kid so was not used to being told what to do! To this day I can’t sew (though I can knit) and I’m so useless at drawing that I struggle even to play Pictionary. But I think I turned out all right, thanks to a Mensa-level IQ and a passion for language.

Cabbie21 Mon 13-Aug-18 13:22:57

I agree with grandetante above.
My daughter was not keen on colouring. Her favourite was to plan, write, cast and direct plays and shows, using her brother, neighbours’ children and anybody who was willing to join in. She was always the chief actor too.
Her son loves drawing but not colouring in. He has a great imagination and also a sense of perspective, so his creations are very good.
All children are different and should be encourage to do what they enjoy.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 13-Aug-18 12:44:20

I too detested colouring, drawing and painting as a child.

I notice that your granddaughter answers politely then goes and does something else, so why worry? She has obviously learned good manners, which will do her a lot more good in life than being able to draw or make useless articles out of clay or toilet rolls, if that is the standard in her nursery.

I do know that children's motor skills develop through drawing and handicrafts, but unless she is a very clumsy child, I do not think you need to worry, at all.

I would be proud of a four year old who says "No, thank you" and has other ideas of how to use her time.

Nannan2 Mon 13-Aug-18 12:17:42

Had to smile at jackyB's post- my older kids were same- i showed them sewing/knitting etc.though the girls can sew enough to mend clothes they dont 'make things' now or knit either but when i asked my DIL if she had needle&thread for a repair at their house she brought out my SONS sewing kit.lol!And on a visit when he was younger(11)my grandson asked me to teach him to knit when he saw me knitting something.(dont know if he still can do it though,hes 20 now.grin