Almost a gran worries

I wouldn't worry too much about the other grandmother knowing more OP, every baby is different anyway.

She may be a bit more up to date on current guidelines, but thats easy enough for you to find out anyway. The only real changes are safe sleeping guidelines, slightly later weaning (although not all parents follow that) and rear facing car seats are recommended until at least 2 years (not by law yet, but that'll likely change). If you want to read up on it a bit then the nhs pregnancy, baby and toddler section has lots of information with the current guidelines and recommendations.

Oh and apparently the pushchairs are more difficult these days!

Gilly 59. How I envy you been invited to the labour ward. I would have just loved to have been there when my grandaughter was born. My Daughter wouldn't hear of it. I helped a lot in the beginning as it was a bit of a shock for my Daughter as she wanted to get everything right and perfect. I found the main thing to help was the cooking and shopping. Being there to wipe away the tears of self doubt. Most of all sit back and enjoy the ride they don't stay tiny babies for long.

Ask her what she wants you to do, and if she's vague, remind her it's better she tells you than you try to do what you think she wants you to do!

Just be there for her with no pressure.
My first granddaughter is 2 months old. During the later stages of her pregnancy dd said we could visit in hospital but that she wouldn’t want visitors for the first week when home. I just said that they would be welcome to come for dinner if they wanted, to save her cooking. Dd had a bad labour and birth and actually took me up on that offer as she was so sore and unwell.

I also offered to sleepover with her when her dp, who works away Monday to Friday, went back to work. At first she said no but when it came to it she asked me to do so. I always make sure that she has plenty of space but am there if she needs me.

Offer as much as you are able and, even if she says no, leave the offers open. Tell her that you are there for her, however much or little she needs you. Mine and my daughter’s relationship has strengthened even more over the last 2 months and I love spending time with her and dgd.

I was with my daughters for all five of the births. It was a wonderful experience, though two of the babies had severe problems and had to go into intensive care. However, it was a privilege and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking to be there, I left that up to them. For me being with them and being able to help was less stressful than wondering what was going on. I kept away from the business end though.

You might like to consider taking a grandparenting course, if one is available in your area. The purpose of these courses is to educate GPs about guidelines that may have changed since they had babies.

Grandparenting courses! What next? Are we really so insecure that we need to be taught what to do?

Annodomini also known as “teaching grannies to suck eggs”!

I do not maintain we as Grans know everything but then we are not in charge - that is the parents’ place and any Grans attempting to “know it all” are unlikely to find their “advice” gratefully received.
You become a gran when your child or his/her partner has a child.
How your relationship changes or develops will depend on the individual, but TG it is not a degree course with an exam at the end of it!

A grandparenting course is mainly focused on advising GPs about guidelines and recommendations that may have changed since they had babies. For example, our mum used a drop-side crib for all of us. Those are now classed as unsafe. Some people were told to put their babies on their stomach or side to sleep. We now have the Back to Sleep campaign. Some people were told to introduce solids at 4-6 months. It's now 6 months at the earliest.

As we get more research and learn more, we develop better guidelines.

My eldest DD and SIL live in Switzerland so I couldn't see my new Grandaughter straight away.
However she had a complicated birth and ended up having an emergency C section. My SIL at DD's request was texting from the hospital to keep me updated and asking us to pray so I felt as though I was with her at the birth. She had to stay in hospital foe a week then they wanted to spend time alone. I went over just before the baby was 3 weeks old and stayed for a week to help as my SIL went back to work the day after I got there.
I did things like getting the meals and looking after the baby while DD had a bath or a sleep.
I also kept her company and gave her moral support.

Agnurse egg sucking indeed!
You must think our generation are stupid. Would you believe we do read newspapers and books? Some of us are doctors, nurses, midwives,health visitors.
But no, you think Grans need to go on a course ?
Who’s in charge of a baby’s welfare anyway? Mum/Dad? Or gran?

I rue the day my husband was any where near my inner workings. Mother turned up and demanded tea and biscuits. Happy Days.

Thanks again for all your advice. Nice to know that you have all taken time to tell me about your experiences. I need to stress though after reading a couple of replies that my daughter asked me as well as her hubby to go with her. I would never have asked her as I would worry she felt she should say yes. I am happy to go If for nothing else to give her hubby a rest. My intention is to help where and when I am needed and I will not be forcing myself on them. I will obviously ask them what they want just thought other peoples experience would guide me. It's all new to me hence the question but I am sure it will all work out. I will post again after the big event. Can't wait ?

Gilly59....you will be fine! Your daughter has asked you to be there, you understand that it is THEIR day but will do what you are asked as and when. No problems. People have their own views on being at births and non are right or wrong. Personally I would have HATED it IF my mother had suggested being at my child's delivery BUT my child wanted ME there and...it was the most magical experience of my life...even more so than giving birth myself. You will be just fine.

I have a 1 1/2 year old and another on the way this fall.
My advice is to not worry about the baby. Be there for your daughter. She’s going to be getting tons of unwanted advice. That “experiences other granny” might not be as welcome as you think if she’s not careful and keeps her opinions to herself.
Take care of your daughter while she takes care of the baby.
The baby doesn’t need or want anyone but mom (and occasionally dad) in the first few months.
Don’t go over uninvited, don’t text or call often. And when you do ask her how she’s doing and if she needs anything. Don’t jump into asking about the baby.
Tell her she’s a good mom. Tell her she look great. Tell her she’s doing a great job. Even if you don’t agree with what she does.
As you mentioned, it’s been 30 years since you had a baby. Things change. She’s up to date on the latest.
The worst thing you can do is criticize or offer suggestions.

Hi I was at my first DGD arrival I was invited ! I had meals in the freezer for them and basically helped whenever needed usually looked after the baby in afternoons while my daughter had a sleep would put her in a sling and talk to her while cleaning up etc .but DG2 they were fine and I only helped with stuff when Asked and did the nursery run with DG1 so play it by ear .The first one is a big shock to them enjoy it xx