Looking after baby

Excellent idea

It is very difficult when you live with them. It is a big ask of a daughter or son that you care full time for their child. The only comment I would make is that a 1 year old surely takes a nap at least once in the day. I think I would make that my 'relax' time. You maybe also take the baby out in pushchair - eg to a park. With baby safely fastened in, you may also get a little respite from the constant attention. Really the younger generation are taking advantage of their elders. I know not everyone will agree, and that is fine.

If you’ve agreed to look after the baby for an hour, then that’s all you must do. But you must have the freedom to do as you choose at other times. Might be best to read in your bedroom.

My GS isn't too bad with reading, but he really won't tolerate anyone being on a screen. He HATES it.

Mind you, it is dangerous not to have your attention on them. Some of the mayhem caused can be terrible, not to mention dangerous.

If the child is in a play-pen then you might just be able to sit and read, otherwise you certainly will not be able to.

I think you should discuss this with your daughter and tell her that you feel too old to help with so young a child.

She will be hurt or offended, but that will happen anyway if you ignore her wishes regarding child-care.

I am uncertain whether you or your daughter is the unreasonable one here. You have obviously forgotten what looking after a one year old entails, and she obviously doesn't know her mother very well.

We don't all adore babies and toddlers, I am sure you will be happier once your grandchild is older, but if you agree to help look after her at any time, you will need to follow your daughter's guide-lines.

Fair enough if you are expected to keep an eye on the child a few times a week while DD gets on with doing things she needs to do for an hour or two. That can't be too much to ask, surely?
If it's all day every day, you really need to come to some agreement between the two of you as to your babysitting duties.
You are entitled to some me time as well. But cherish the time spent with your grandchild - once they have grown up, they've gone and then no point coming on here whingeing "I used to look after my GC all the time and now she doesn't want to know me" in the future!

Last year I was looking after my one year old GS 3 times a week while my DIL was working during lockdown.
He is a lovely little chap and quite happy to play by himself sometimes (supervised of course). If anything, my DIL encouraged me not to play with him all the time as she didn't want him to get used to one-to-one attention all the time. Obviously, when she is looking after him she has household chores etc. to do. I don't see anything wrong with reading the paper at the same time as minding the baby.

No I don’t think you are being unreasonable to have to sit with your grandchild all the time I think your daughter is taking advantage. I have my grandchild twice a week the same age it’s exhausting.

Agree with Brightandbreezy. It's a difficult time with a baby - all your lives change & the routines, parenting methods etc not yet established.
Hope you find a scenario that suits you all.

I am in a similar situation to you currently as I am living with my youngest DD (a single parent) and her 3 children 10,3 and 2. DD expects me to co parent with her and I an spending virtually every waking moment watching the two youngest/taking them out as well as helping in the house and doing my own paid work. I can honestly say that there is no such thing as coasting with the under 5’s! I haven't read a book or watched TV (apart from CBEEBIES??‍♀️) in over a year. The children are very active and inclined to swiftly get into trouble, small cars in the two year olds mouth, throwing large toys at each other or generally! Climbing on chairs dangerously and trying to shove each other off! Yesterday I went into the kitchen (next room) to grab them water and when i returned the two year old had climbed up to the table and was sat with his hand in a plant pot grabbing handfuls of soil! I was gone literally 2 minutes?
I find I have to play with them all the time whether its active games like water play or mud kitchen in the garden or reading and block building in doors, they cant play quietly at all for long. As others have said you maybe should chat to your DD about your individual expectations.

A neighbour of mine had six children. I would pop round (with my one year old) for a chat and she was always 'having a break', reading the paper, having a cuppa. I still don't know how she managed it
Have more children? They keep each other entertained perhaps?

If you are a mother at home with a one year old there is no way you would spend all day playing with them. A child would always want your attention and you would never get things done, so short periods of play then sleep, and quiet times in a playpen, while they watch you doing cooking or housework. I wonder how many hours a day Pampeon is expected to sit on the floor and play it could be quite exhausting.

oh dear, are you a live in 'nanny'. I wouldn't like that at all. you need 'you time'.

I sense a bit of resentment creeping in here OP as you are saying your daughter expects me to sit and play with your GD and keep her occupied, but you don’t want to do it all the time, and no of course not but I’m wondering what all the time means, is this everyday! If so I think it’s a bit much if you are not getting any me time! You are saying you are living there, so I’m wondering whether your daughter is taking advantage , it’s hard to say without knowing more details, I looked after my grandson while my daughter went back to work I loved every minute, but that was only few days a week

As others have said, there is no way you should play with the child all the time. Children need to learn to occupy themselves. However playing with a loving adult is essential to emotional, social and cognitive development so its a matter of getting a balance. As others have said if you are in charge of the child only read in a safe environment. My grand mother sat reading in a deckchair. She was in the garden, she used a length of string and tied it round my ankle and then the other end to the deck chair. I would not recommend this method. 80 years later I have an arthritic left knee and wonder if the genesis is in its early treatment.

And yet again the OP hasn't returned since the first day. There are too many of these types of posts. How can people offer advice if information is lacking?

Depends on the baby I think. Could never have read when ours were one but could do short basic things in kitchen when baby had wooden spoons and plastic pots to bash. My flatmate when I was early 20's taught primary 1 and had to prepare her day in 5 minute spans as that was the longest 5 year olds could concentrate on (at least the livelier less articulate ones). We used to help her.

Grandmabatty - OP did return to thread briefly this morning. If she's expected to play with GC all the time, she definitely won't have much time for Gransnet!

Farmor15 my mistake. She still hasn't given much information for anyone to work with though.

No.

Sampling the contents of a plant pot....hahahaha!!

I think little children need watching so carefully as little accidents can happen in a split second. Also, they are more entertaining than a book!

I used to make sure every thing small or unsafe was put away, and arrange toys all around my room or the garden ready for each 5 hour stay from my grandchildren aged 9 months. I think its bad for the child to spend all your time trying to play with them. I would start them off, then leave them to it. I could never read a book, but I used to crochet or read the paper, so I could put it down quickly to sort out problems.
I also used to have a strict routine. 1 hour play, snack, visit the park or toddler club (when they were on) , lunch, nap, snack then TV for 1/2 hour then play. I would clean, tidy up rearrange toys as I went along. Not easy or relaxing. but my 10 year old grandaughter, who I've looked after since she was 9 months is lovely and she just gets on with it now and makes me a lovely cup of tea...