bereavement

Bez1989
I think I used the same Pet Crematorium - in North Hampshire.
The vet wanted to take her after she had passed,but I had heard awful things about how they were treated. When I collected her from Hook, the grounds were really beautiful - the bluebells were in full bloom and the whole place was so peaceful. The owners were so thoughtful, and all the pets are managed individually. My thoughts are with you.

I can understand your, I lost my dog Shadow two years ago and wept for her for weeks, it was such a shock, she was fine in the morning and gone by mid day.she had spl
eenic cancer and was only eight years old My daughter died of cancer too at the age of 40, leaving us with three teenage children after a four year battle, but I always new I would lose her one day so I guess I although so sad

To both Jenn and Grizelda, huge sympathy. Fortunately my husband is alive and well, but we have coped with the loss of dogs many times. It never gets any easier and we have another 'event' looming. Our comfort is that we have always done our best for our dogs. They love you until their last breath and too often it falls to us to decide when that will be.

Sending
To anyone who has lost a pet. I know the extreme pain one can feel. I got comfort when losing our Westie at 15 + years by finding a wonderful Private Pet Cremation service in my area. They are a wonderful animal loving family living out in the countryside.

They came to our home to collect him with a lovely covered dog bed and took him away with dignity. We now have his ashes in a small wooden box with the appropriate words on a brass looking tablet on the top.
I often touch it and talk to him.

I can recommend this type of service for
anyone who loses a beloved pet.
And I do believe I shall see him again in the next and better life.

Sending warm wishes to anyone grieving the loss of a beloved pet. It's the price we have to pay for loving them so much.

Grizelda, I am no stranger to grieving, and I know that for a long time after you lose anyone your mind and emotions go in all directions. Some days you go through just about every emotion known to man and for an hour or two you could rule the world, then in another hour or two you are gibbering wreck. Go with the flow, don't be hard on yourself. You were just getting your head around being widowed and your precious dog died - how would anyone feel? You are focusing on your dog at the moment but it will change, you will start to miss your husband more and then it will change again. Losing people close to you really messes with your mind, I lost my Dad and my husband within 6 months of each other and I flitted from missing one more than the other. It dosn't matter if you are grieving for your dog - it's still a loss and as any animal lover knows, your pet is part of your family. You will have ups and downs and have emotions you didn;t know you possessed. It's all part of grieving. My heart goes out to you, but you will settle eventually and things will be more in prospective. Sending strength.

When my friend's husband died she started to grieve for the baby she'd given up for adoption. She was devastated to lose her husband but it seemed to reignite the earlier sadness too.

DH's mother died and then 13 years later his father died. He grieved so much for his mother. I think the mind copes in whatever way it can so suggest you stop beating yourself up and let it all come out.

Grief takes on many forms and there's no prescribed timescale either. The way you feel about your DH and the dog can't be explained or quantified but give it time as the saying goes. We had a cat, a lovable furry friend and now years after she died I still feel behind me before sitting in my favourite armchair because she also liked to roost there behind a cushion. Silly I know but that's the way we are.

Oh Tegan sorry to hear that enjoy time left with her x

Oh gosh, I think this is a welcome release of emotion and I know I don't have any control over what sparks mine! I was in overdrive when my dad died and failed to grieve until some years later when I scraped some old wallpaper off in our bathroom and found his calculations for tiles scribbled on the wall underneath- open floodgates!

My dogs cancer has come back . We are not putting her through an operation again. She's only 9 and, apart from this is incredibly healthy. We don't know how long we'll have her for; it could be months or even years. I feel so sad for her.

Animals give you unconditional love.How many times have we put aside our own needs to do something for one of our loved ones only to be made to feel that it was our duty.
I still grieve for every pet I have lost over the years and have a cry when I think of the little things they used to do.
I gave my husband 50 years of my life and there were many times I felt what I did was expected of me.Yes I do miss him
but not with the intensity that I miss my beloved pets

Grief is the price we pay for loving and to have suffered two cl ose bereavements as you have done must hurt terribly.

Nurturing takes a lot of our emotional space up and you must miss that too.

Life can be a proper stinker.

I am so sorry yours is wretched at the moment.

I totally agree with irma

I have seen advertised, I think it is the RSPCA, that you can arrange that should something happen to you they will take and find your pet a new, good home. It would be a comfort to know that. We rescue ex-racing greyhounds, some that have rotten lives and have only just avoided being put to sleep. Should something happen to us they must be returned to the rescue that they came from so their futures are assured.

?Grizelda Losing a much loved pet is like losing a person. You are mourning your husband and your dog so be kind to yourself. Simply mourn both and don't allow guilt to be a part of it. ?

But is it fair when you're getting on a bit yourself? That's what would worry me, unless I knew for sure that a close friend or relative would take him/her on if anything happened to me.

Jenn You will know when the time is right I am sure. The times DH and I have said that perhaps we don't want to go,through it all again. But you gradually start to,think of all that they give you and know that you can't manage without one any longer.

Oh, I think he'll understand....

The beds,blankets,bowls,leads and toys are washed and packed away and the house is soooo empty.
I'm trying to be sensible and not rush into anything but life without a dog....
For now my horse has to put up with a lot more hugs and cuddles, much to his disgust.

I'm sorry for your loss. I found that when my husband first died I didn't grieve much, it was a relief after he was so ill. The grieving was stronger some time later, so maybe you would have grieved now anyway, it's just much worse because of your second loss of your dog.

When I had my two lovely dogs put down in 2002 (April then December) I swore I'd never love another as I'd loved those two.

I did replace them after a while as I couldn't stand the hole in my life but I said I was NOT going to let myself become wrapped around their furry paws. Fat chance

Now 14 years on I again have two ageing and much loved dogs.

My point I'm sure you take. You've given your pets a happy and loving home, a good life. That's all we can ask. My thoughts are with all those who face sad decisions and the loss of a furry companion.

The dreaded call to the vet is the kindest route Jenn. Many of us have been in the same situation and know how you feel.