Grandparents and childcare

Hi

I was wondering if anyone could help me. I am looking to talk to a Scottish grandparent who babysits for their grandchildren while the parents are at work- just to talk about how they feel about it, why they do it and how the burden of childcare is increasingly falling on grandparents etc.

It is for an article I am writing for the Scottish Daily Mail today. Any help anyone could give me would be so appreciated. I am looking to speak to someone by the end of the day- if you send me a message or email me at [email protected] I will give you more details.

Thanks in advance for your help and apologies for interupting this thread

Kind regards
Hannah

My DH and I have taken on the lion's share of the childcare ever since mour daughter was left on her own with two tots. We were happy to be on hand to do this, but we both went part time in order to manage it and so now we are retired we have to acknowledge that it has affected our income and pensions to some extent. It would make economic sense for some kind of credit or tax break to go to caring grandparents, seeing as they are bearing the social costs of family childcare.

We looked after our granddaughter 4 days a week for a year and appreciated the opportunity to do so (though we miss her terribly now that her parents have moved). We are still happy to help whenever asked.

However, the fact remains that not all grandparents are available to look after their grandchildren and not all wish to (and that should be their right). The problem is that there is so little affordable and good quality childcare that often people do not have a choice but to help out, even when their health is poor or they find it exhausting.

I think the percentage of children being looked after by grandparents is very high - something like 60%. Successive governments have completely ignored their contribution, and employers (who benefit from this free child care) are quite happy to sit back and ignore the situation. To add insult to injury, pensioners are increasingly being portrayed as being a drain on society.

Much as I would love too, there is no way I could look after my 20/12 DGD. She is very active and I can't chase after her or get on the floor to change a very wriggly(bless her) child's nappy! Well I could get down, but, don't think I could get up again.
I am very unhappy about the fact that I can't help.

We look after our 2 grandchildren full time and are well into our fourth year. Otherwise their divorced parents would not be able to carry on in the Royal Navy. Not quite the retirement we planned but we have grown so close to the children now 6 and nearly 8. We love them dearly but would just like more energy and 'fast freeze button' to use on them at times.

We have said we will look after DGC full time if necessary, if and when DS and DIL move back to UK. We agreed to make this commitment until the youngest is school age. DGD will start school in September and she will be reasonably easy. However, DGS is only 23 months and may have special needs so there might be a few problems ahead.

We will be grateful to be part of their lives after being able to see them only once or twice a year. I know it will mean a lot of work and having to put our lives on hold for a couple of years, but I'm sure it will be worthwhile to get to know them properly and also to help DS and DIL to make a life in UK for the family.

You must do it Dresden if needed and do believe anyone would if it is for the sake of the children. I know several Gparents who provide full time care and do a good job of it.

My GS is convinced he has 4 parents but only one mummy and daddy.

I look after my GS 2 days per week and have done since he was 1 at Christmas. I look after him at my DD's house which is 30 miles away. This makes the days very long-I leave at 7.30 am and often don't get home until 7 pm. My DD works 2.5 days per week and her partner looks after the baby on the .5 day.
I do really enjoy looking after him but it is a big commitment there is no doubt and I often come home exhausted. My DD pays me expenses plus a little extra which is a big help (but I did retire from my paid job to help her!)
I do get a bit lonely there as I don't know anyone in the area-I do intend to try to join a few groups once spring arrives so that I can make contact with some other people so maybe things will improve in that area.
Having said all that, it is a joy to be so close to my GS and to get cuddles from him when he sees me. Also today he took his first steps while I was there which was a shame for my DD but great for me!
By contrast my DS has a daughter who has been in daycare since she was 1 year old. However they live in NZ where they have subsidised daycare of a high standard.
i stayed at home with my own children and they turned out well, however it is debatable which is best for a child- to be looked after at home with a family member or parents or to attend childcare (which can make a child resilient and sociable.

Oh dear, I must be really selfish. I am always there when the children need me to babysit, have children overnight or for the day but I am afraid I really relish and cherish my freedom now that my own children have flown. I adore my 9 GC and get so much pleasure from them but won't give up my freedom. I do admire those who can and do. My sister does same for two of her grandchildren as the mother left them and her son is working. she does the school runs and has them in the holidays. Its very tiring for her as she is not in full health herself.

I am a very loving granny and my grandchildren love me. I suppose I am lucky in the fact that my DD and DIL's all were stay at home mums. I still don't know if I would have given up my well earned freedom after years of working in a challenging profession to look after the children full time or even for a couple of days a week.

God, I sound awful reading this but I know I am not.

as an add on I stayed at home to look after my 5 children and go a lot of pleasure out of them. I loved being a mum and never wanted or needed to work outside the home. I started working when my youngest started school and then because it was shift work in a home for adults with learning disabilities and on the days I could not be there for the children my DH was able to pick them up from school as his hours were quite flexible (or he made them flexible)

Not selfish at all Flower...I too stayed at home to look after my two children but my DD is a different person from me and gets depressed if she's not doing something intellectual so she was always going to go back to work.
Not sure how I got involved really- I retired a bit early to support my daughter when her baby was born prematurely and was going up at least once a week to help her. At some point it was mooted in a non serious way that I could look after the baby when DD went back to work. Next thing you know I've said I'll do it without really thinking about the practicalities!
It's not easy but I am pretty fit and healthy and it won't be forever-plus I get to be a 2nd mother to my adorable GS-he knows me and trusts me since I've seen him every week since he was born.
Starting in the winter means things will only get easier as the summer arrives.
Good luck to all other Grans who are helping with child care!

I did feel I needed something else when my youngest was still a toddler, I worked at a drop-in for children with learning disabilities on a Saturday, then moved on to working at at hostel for adults with LD finally for 15 years worked at a day centre for adults with LD and challenging behaviour part time and at weekends with children with the same needs. I love the work but was so glad to retire.

I had 3 children close together. Grandads died before they were born.
Grandmas in their 70s and over 200miles away.I had to cope with Mums dementia when children were 9,8 and 6.
I have only 2 GC one (12) lives 160 miles away and her other Gran lives nearby so I've had little chance to care for her.
GS (13) lives a mile away and for 11 yrs I often cared for him especially in early years when DIL went back to work.Now denied all contact for 2 yrs!
Many GNs are unable to help with childcare because of distance,disability or denied contact.
For those of you who do help with childcare I rejoice for you and wish you well.Make the most of it whilst you can.

How I wish we were invited to help with child care! Although we did the school run, etc. for six months last year when my DIL was recovering from two major ops, we are never asked now to help out, despite constantly offering our services at any time. Granddaughter aged 5 used to come for the day until she began full-time school, but now our son rebuffs any attempts to bring her to our house, although she is very keen. We plan to tackle him and our DIL to ask if we have offended them in some way, as we find our constant exclusion very hurtful, especially as the grandchildren (aged from 2 to 10) are growing away all the time and we are missing out on this special time.
I envy all of you sharing in your grandchildren's lives in this way, although I can quite see it can be exhausting!

Don't get me wrong - I absolutely love my GC I babysit, have them overnight, look after them if parents are sick etc. Have them for my own pleasure. I just love my freedom and time with my DH, especially now I realise just how precious life is after our recent traumatic years. In fact I have one little one staying this week and two little ones over weekend.

This government makes me so mad,shouting that mothers should return to work with never a thought for childcare costs. Why should a mum leave her children in a nursery and only be left with a few pounds in her hand at the end of the month. Childcare costs are so high and it's not the staff who are being paid good money but the people who own the nurseries.
I look after my granddaughter 2 days a week including overnight stays and the other grandma does two days too. I also looks after my friends son for two days. I love doing it but it doesn't leave much me time but they will be at school in no time as the years fly by and I will miss them.
If they want everyone to work until we drop dead who is going to provide the childcare of the future? And what time will we have left to spend with our grandchildren,we will be too exhausted.

Grandparents are the one who is taking care of their grandsons or daughters because their parents cant take care of them. One of the biggest expenditures that a they has to face is for child care. Child care costs are rampantly growing and in some areas, eclipse costs like rent or a house payment.

I have looked after my grandson's for a day a week, since they were about 6mths, to keep the childcare costs within budget for my DD1. My DD2 has been fortunate not to have to work until her kids were at nursery school. We also help out with drop off and pick ups from school/nursery and childminder for all four DGCs. I am happy to do this and if needed would do a bit more..not full time and my DDs would not expect it. Often offer to have all or some for the day to help DDs if they are busy & do some evening babysits so they can go out. I am just repeating what my mum did for me

Meant to add that i do work p/t and have a busy social life too! Did not want to sound like I was tied to the kitchen sink /nappy bucket!

I think it so important to have a social life , keeps one sane !!!

I enjoy mine !!

We have looked after our grandson, who will be one this month, since our daughter in law returned to work in September. This involves mainly late afternoon/evening 5 days a week as son and daughter in law have a language school and work mainly in the evenings. It is not the retirement we had planned but we do it because we love him and know how important positive family involvement is to child development. They are fortunate to be able to afford nursery fees but we don't believe in sending children to nursery before they are two if it can be avoided ( in many cases there is no alternative) but also, their hours are not compatible anyway. In some ways we fell trapped, but trapped by love so there are worse things in life!

I seem to spend my life surrounded by children, but I love it!
Was left to bring up my 3 DSs when they were 5,7 and 9. Without my parents help I couldn't have done it, as I worked continually due to nothing from the ex.
Nowadays, it is my turn to help my GC, and others!

Still working hard, as an SEN TA, but means I get holidays with the DGC.

I have GS4 3 early mornings, Mon, Tues and Sat. Dad works in the day, and Mum does 3 night-shifts a week. Unfortunately DS has to leave an hour before DiL finishes, so I step into the breach. They have another due in Feb/March, and she plans to take minimal maternity leave, so this will carry on for some time no doubt.

Monday, Tues and Fri after school I do respite for one of our pupils, 2 hours at a time.

Thursday I have GS1 after school (he is a pupil where I work), and then spend some time with him and his siblings (GS2 and GD3) when I take him home.

On Wed pm and Sat am, I help a 7 yr old in the village with his English and Maths (he struggles greatly bless him)

In between all that, I collapse in front of the pooter/TV, or am babysitting somewhere (lad in the village and his brother last night, 3 eldest GC tonight)

Think that may be why I am still single...no time to meet anyone lol.

Wouldn't have it any other way though, they are the reason I get up in the morning

BBC filmed us doing the school run yesterday plus a few comments to illustrate a report out today which shows that the number of grandparents has risen dramatically over the past few years and has often profound implications for our lives. Report here yayajen.blogspot.co.uk/ scheduled for main news 6pm tonight...eek

Piece was not shown yesterday as the terrible tornado in the Philippines continues to dominate the news, my heart goes out to those catastrophe stricken people.

BBC did publish some parts of the filming online - they were with us for over an hour - DD a little upset that they didn't use her piece to camera but the GS's were just fab, only one melt down by the 4yo but Jeremy Cooke and Justin the cameraman worked very thoughtfully around the boys.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24913575

How brave of you to "face the cameras" YaYaJen . I agree with everything you said, we'll done. Your grandchildren are beautiful.