Grandparents and childcare

Thanks Gillybob,

Quite a bit about other Granetter's experiences and generosity was cut and where I say we get no recognition it should have included " from government for our economic input" otherwise I think they got some of the main points from the report over.

I get quite cross about the lack of recognition for grandparents who care for children so that parents can stay in work. I'm also dead jealous of those who had parents capable and willing to care for their little darlings.

I also feel that many grandparents are taken advantage of, and that expectations of them are way too high. I have a friend who retired early to help out with her grandkids, at the same time as her own parents became very frail and also needed a good deal of support. I feel she should be enjoying some freedom now. Many are in the same boat.

Good job, YaYaJen! Your grandchildren are absolutely gorgeous.

I have just started looking after my DGD 2 days a week which means I stay Sunday night to be there first thing in the morning and Monday night, returning home Tuesday evening. As my DH is usually away on business at least one night a week it fits into our lifestyle well. I take my laptop and catch up on work while DGD sleeps and don't to any housework or cooking so when she is awake I can just enjoy the time with her. I see it as a privilege to be part of my DS family

gettingonabit I totally agree with your post.I see my DGC frequently as they all live close, but don't get too involved in all the day to day stuff.
I think a lot of Grandparents are dashing about looking after young children when they are really not up to it, as we know, young children are exhausting.We have already done our share in bringing up our own children
[well, I certainly have!]There is a lot said about 'poor' Mothers, so how about they stay at home, but make do with very little money coming in [like I did.]Then they can stay with their own children that they chose to have.There could be a few cases where Grandparents just have to help out [single Mothers] but otherwise, they should cope themselves.That's what makes you an adult , coping by yourself. Most of us on here have done this, and most of us have not had much money either [or household goods] but we didn't expect our parents to bring up our own children.There is a huge difference between helping out now and then [in illness or babysitting]and virtually being the nanny.As for doing all that because your DD 'prefers' to go out to work.....!!!!!Why are we all as a Nation baby-ing our own grown up children? To all that say 'oh they can't pay the mortgage' well YES they can, because we all had to, and they will have to cut out all the frills to do so, but they can do it.If they can't, then why have children?

rosesarered House prices these days are relatively much higher than they were years ago so people tend to have much bigger mortgages and it's necessary for both parents to work. Rents are also very high. There is also the issue that if women have a significant amount of time away from the job market their career development is likely to be affected.

I'm still of the view that it's been many years since the standard working week was reduced (after all, once upon a time people only had a Sunday afternoon off) and I feel both men and women should be working shorter hours. In the long run I'm sure it would lead to a more harmonious society and fewer social problems. At the moment we have what seems to me to be a ridiculous situation where some people are working very long hours and others are working very few, or no, hours and none of these groups is happy with the situation.

To some extent I think the help that grandparents give can be taken for granted by the parents, and is most definitely taken for granted by the government and business. The cost of childcare in this country is ridiculously high and would be prohibitive to many lower earners. Grandparents who help out are actually providing a free service not only to parents but to the economy as a whole.

I do agree with some of what you say Eloethan but on the subject of house prices, yes prices have gone up [although I don't ever remember thinking houses were cheap.] However at the moment and for a number of years, interest rates have been so very low for mortgage holders.In the past myself and DH scraped to pay our mortgage. We all know that lifestyle and expectations have made our children's generation rather greedy at times with all the must have stuff.I look at what my children have [lovely homes and lovely furniture and decor and technology] and think how little we used to have at the same age.If there isn't a real reason to help bring up the grand-children, then I say let our children do it themselves, and we help out now and again as needed.Of course , if some want to do the day to day care, then that is very different, from feeling guilty if you don't.I also think that if the issue of having all the things they want [and I include the career in this] then they should think more carefully before they have children.

I do agree that our children's expectations are very different from our own but that's probably what happens with each generation, particularly now, when marketing is more sophisticated and people are increasingly brainwashed into viewing many inessential things as "must haves".

I have always worked part time and we had to make our own arrangements as my mum wasn't willing to help. It was difficult, and so now we help with child care to make life a bit easier (and less expensive) for our son and his partner.

I do agree that grandparents should not feel obliged to provide child care if they really don't want to or don't feel up to it - and children should not expect it.

As you say, not a new topic, but with the election coming up I am wondering whether anyone will raise the topic of childcare as a legitimate, economic activity on which our society must expend time and money.

In some countries
- the taxpayer picks up the bill through subsidising nurseries/creches
- Women pick it with uncosted care/unvalued in financial terms
- Employers pick it up with flexible working/parent friendly solutions

Whatever way it is paid for - or not paid but still done by someone - raising our young is the single most important economic activity undertaken by humans - and that costs time, effort, planning - and usually that translates into cash and should be part of the political discussion as is energy production, manufacturing, even banking

So the question is not individually how we cover the costs of childcare - but how as a society we provide this most vital of economic activities. My question to politicians is - how are we building our single most important economic activity, the one activity on which all our long term plans can founder or grow - how are we developing it, strengthening it, creating a thriving and driving part of our economy.

As long as we regard childcare as private, as family, as individual (which of course it is as well) before we think of its economic importance to all society we will struggle to maintain its economic health.

I write as a retail buyer, volunteer, mother of 5 with 6 grandchildren, a foster carer, sports development worker, childcare development worker, mentor, primary teacher and childminder - now including grandchildren as a childminder. Yes, yes I have lived a long time and, as we all have, done lots!