Pamish, I do understand your concerns but what we really never ever needed was a "proper planned curriculum "... and we did have great reports from the LEA without one. Having a curriculum would have stifled us I think, and the benefits of educating in our own way would have been massively compromised.

Just as another poster said, home education is not for everyone. I'm not advocating it for everyone.

In the UK, legally it's a parent's responsibility to see that their child receives an education suited to their age ability and aptitude (and any special needs they may have) and so long as parents do this, they should, I feel, be able to do it in their own way. Some people choose not to hand this responsibility to someone else specifically so that they can educate in their own way. Please don't let's force a curriculum on them.

Perfectly explained, NotSpaghetti.
We teach my grandson English and maths in the morning, but he usually reads a newspaper as well and something will come up in that which needs explaining or research in the afternoon. The good thing is that it can change when something local happens, so we can go out or stay in when necessary.
His sister, who is five years younger, would not like to be taught at home. She enjoys school, as did her cousins.
We do know that if he wanted to try going to school again, he could, and they would fit him in. He never learned at the same rate as others in his group, anyway.

I identify with the swimming, too. When he was younger, his mother used to take him to the pool in York when it first opened. As soon as any other children arrived, it hurt his ears, so he had to leave. He's not quite as bad now, but it's very much like the sensory overload in the autism film. Two babies in pushchairs in the same shop and we have to leave.

I think home schooling can be excellent and essential for some children. But even for children who struggle sometimes school does provide links and friendships which last into adult life. Of course there are organisations that can provide social activities for home schooled children, but I believe many of these are now struggling to survive due to a lack of adult volunteers. Could this mean that home schooling will not be able to offer a social side in the future?

I don't know about that trisher. The home schooling group my GC attend has about 150 children of all ages. The meet up every Wednesday and usually there are about 40 children there. Different Wednesdays, different children. My DGD has made a really good friend already and they have only been going since January. Most weeks they have enquiries from other families too.

I think that school gives children more freedom over their own friendships.
My best friend, still a very good friend more than 50yrs later, was not much liked by my mother. This didn't matter because we saw each other every day. I can see that my mother would have thought once a week ample! She would have made no effort for us to get together every day, in fact she would have argued that it wasn't good for me.
It was good for me.
I am not too sure that parent and child ideas on friendships always add up.

On the whole it wasn't organisations that provided activities and social opportunities for my children all those years ago, it was my husband and I any many, many other parents.

Things do change however, as home education grows, the opportunities to "sell" to this community grows too. We only knew of about 2000 home- edders in my day (through Education Otherwise mainly) and I don't remember meeting more than about 150 at a time but my daughter met up with 200 plus in a park recently for a 'not back to school' picnic. I think the opportunities for organisations to provide things for a community of this size are growing a lot. For example, she tells me her local pool has recently started to offer group home-ed swimming lessons during the day, the local college home-ed GCSEs, and there are numerous group activities you can do (if you can afford them of course) - Music, Drama, Gymnastics, Climbing, etc.

Not sure which organisations you mean Trisha. Maybe after-school ones such as guides and scouts? These are certainly needing more support, but it was possibly always the same as these are both activities that I volunteered for (reluctantly) whenever they were stuck for help. I really wanted my children to have the chance to have a break from me and was disappointed that more non homeschooling parents didn't come forward even then.

I think some children are naturally gregarious and there's no reason not to be just as gregarious outside the school system. And forming lasting, meaningful friendships and being gregarious aren't necessarily the same thing. I do think, however, that the social aspect of home-edding is perhaps the most misunderstood. It's certainly the thing that caused me the most stress before we actually started on that path. Now I'm really relaxed about it and can see my grandchildren enjoying the varied freedoms and social experiences that my own children enjoyed.

As someone once said to me, when in your life will you ever need to be in a group of 30 or so people where the commonality is your age?

Leticia just re read your earlier post - I hate the very idea of skiing please don't take me on holiday!

Wish I'd known you years ago though... You could have enjoyed the endless skiing lessons that I sat through whilst my youngest daughter practiced!

I was thinking of scouts/youth groups and such things. They are noticeably less in number than they once were and I wondered if this affected home schooled children at all. It wasn't a criticism just a question. School didn't always suit my dyslexic son, but one of the things that he gained there is a group of supportive friends with whom he still shares ideas and projects. I think home schooling is fine if it suits you but I do wonder why home schoolers have to defend it so aggressively. I had intended to ask about the social mix of home educated children and how wide it was, but perhaps I won't bother.

I thought it a good example NotSpaghetti. I love it, but my husband stays at home, he hates it!
I just got irritated by the title because everyone is so different and there is no best or better , all you can say is 'better for........' with the realisation that it will be worst for some.
I am one of those people who needs other people to bounce ideas off and I need a teacher. If I want to learn something today then I find a class. While I don't mind the different ages, it is very comfortable to have them all around my own age.
I would like home education to be completely normal, main stream - just a choice- and I would like it monitored for the sake of the children. Wanting to do it doesn't mean that you are any good at it. (There does need to be the understanding that there will be just about as many methods as families, and that it won't replicate school).

Trisher, my grandson belongs to a football team made of all his friends at the primary school.
When he went to the secondary school, he never saw any of them at school as they were all in different classes. However, the football team was for those who enjoyed a kickaround but would never get in the school teams for various reasons.
It's still going after four years.

I'm really sorry if I sound like I'm defending it aggressively. That really isn't how I feel about it. Home ed worked for us, but just as school doesn't suit everyone, neither does home education. I certainly agree that it's not "best" ! That's totally ridiculous. For some children It would be dire!

Furthermore, at least once a month I would ask myself if we were still doing the right thing. We would constantly question if what we were doing was still in the best interests of our children, and we did go to look at some local and local-ish schools in case we saw something there that we couldn't offer. As well as this we looked at a school in Scotland which we seriously considered moving close to specifically because it seemed to offer the sort of education we wanted for our children.

As well as this, I'm aware that home ed often suits a child for a while. My closest friend had one child that flexischooled for years, another who went to school at 12 for about two years, one who was homeschooled and one who started school at rising five, came out at 7 and went back at 16 for A levels. So as your children get older you do keep on re-visiting decisions, involving them in discussions sometimes, as appropriate.

Re social mix Tricia, it's pretty much like the real world, a mix of all sorts. The larger week-long meetings in our day were massively subsidised by the better off to allow other people to pay what they could afford. This meant that my friend who was managing totally on benefits and a cleaning job could bring her daughter alongside another friend who was a medic. Like real life though, if you are more highly educated it seems that it's much less scary if you decide to do something different, such as taking a child out of school, and probably, if you doubt yourself, you are more likely to use a structured textbook to aid learning. There are always going to be some families who get on well and yes, possibly this narrows the mix a bit, but in our case I think we can say the children had a pretty wide range of friends. Certainly it was wider than it would have been if they had gone to their catchment junior school, and wider than the social mix of most public schools.

Now there are more families doing it, I expect there will be more people meeting up with people from their immediate areas (especially in towns and cities) so you may find that in some areas this may limit the social mix. My daughter can walk easily to five families at the moment. Three have similar houses, jobs, and lifestyles. They live on the same road. That's a narrow mix!

Anyway, I'm sorry if I sounded defensive. I think I do just feel it's another way of doing things, and as such has merits and demerits. Also, my knowledge is a whole generation old!

As parents we are constantly making choices right from the off. We don't get two goes at getting it right. Who knows what is really "best"? We just all do the best we can with the info we have at the time, and base our choices on that.

I think I would have had the ability to home school our lot up to secondary level, but my lack of knowledge/ability/intelligence in science and maths would have meant our DC would have had to have joined 'normal' school at eleven. I don't know how well they would have coped. I also needed to return to work full time around then too.

My DGC are all in the fortunate position of going to good local schools with lots of parent/teacher interaction and children mixing for various out of school activities. Home schooling doesn't seem to be a necessary option for them at present. The problem for DD1 will arise when DGD1 goes on to high school as they live in Buckinghamshire which has a grammar school system and there's very little prospect of her passing the eleven plus. The school she will have to attend is not good.

I knew someone once who home schooled their son. Unfortunately the parents had both been to special schools and didn't have the abilities required to home school. The result was that after 2-3 years their son was way behind and went to school. I guess this is a very unusual situation but this little lad could have slipped through the net for longer with worse consequences. Maybe the parents had poor memories of schooldays.

I had a similar experience with my mother Leticia maybe that's what made me ask the question. Thanks for all the info. I did wonder if the economic situation, parents working long hours etc had affected things, but home schooling seems to be thriving. But I do agree the title is wrong- it's what suits your child not, "my way is better than yours".

I'm totally in favour of home schooling, - if it meets a particular child's needs.
My youngest grandchild aged 13 is now being home schooled, and I am one of her teachers at home, and she is thriving on it. She was desperately unhappy at school as the victim of much bullying and was completely unable to fit in anywhere. She is apparently ADHD and these children often end up being home schooled.
This situation is only temporary. A specialised college has been found for her and she starts there in September. We are hoping the small classes and special teaching will help her. If it fails, then it's back to the home schooling.

henetha my D's situation mirrors yours. My GD will be 14 soon and my D has just taken her out of school for similar reasons. The school was not helpful. She is getting lots of help from the LEA and we hope she will eventually go back but she is starting the GCSE syllabus now.

I think one of the problems is that many parents do not know that home schooling is possible, and legal. They think their children have to go to school, not have to be educated.

Sorry Trisher, I called you Tricia.

Don't worry I've been called worse things.
My youngest DS was out of education from 14, we did a bit of home schooling but he was very traumatized and thought he couldn't do things (he is dyslexic). Eventually he did a photography course at an FE college and this turned his life around. He now has an MA. He still has problems reading and writing (thank goodness for technology). I think we sometimes imagine children will be completely lost if they don't jump through the hoops we set them whereas with encouragement and support they get through things (just like the rest of us).

I can think of circumstances where I would home educate but thankfully it wasn't necessary.
I think it should be what suits the child , I am a bit distrustful of the parent who does it because it suits them, without wondering about the child, or the sort who project their own school experience onto their child.
I was horrified recently to find that someone advises pregnant women how to get their 'bump' into the top schools. This is when they haven't a clue what their child will be like! How on earth can you decide on the best education for a baby? Another case of 'all children' - as if one size fits all.

I actually do not know anyone who homeschools because it suits them. All the ones I know do it for the sake of the child/ren. It is much easier to send children to school. Home schooling is hard work.

@NotSpag, I didn't mean that homeschooled children should have to follow the regular curriculum, not at all. My concern is that those whose job it is to educate them have the necessary skills and/or access to those who do - eg mumofmadboys' post re the child allowed to slip 2-3 years behind.

And now today the story emerges of 'homeshooled' children being in illegal schools - a concern of mine as live not far from a cluster of religious 'schools' in private houses where I see through frosted glass, young people praying all day. There doesn't seem to be anything anyone can do to challenge this, as the rights of the parents reign supreme - that's what's wrong.

From today's Graun: The chief inspector of schools has called on ministers to tighten the rules on home education, claiming they are being exploited by a growing number of illegal schools across England. More than 100 suspected unregistered schools have been uncovered by inspectors in the past five months. At some of them children are being taught in “unsafe and unhygienic premises” by staff who have not been properly checked.

Anyone else hear alarm bells about potential abuse (all sorts)?

That article has got nothing to do with homeschooling. It's a problem caused by this government in allowing free schools and private schools to proliferate.
Nobody can charge children who are homeschooled but that article says that parents are charged a lot of money for this type of schooling.
Choosing to send your children to an unregistered school is not homeschooling.

This government allows free schools and academies to have unqualified teachers.
It's reaping what it has sown.

I get worried about people who cannot spell Guardian. That rings alarm bells with me.

I don't know anyone who home school because it suits them, but it is very common on Mumsnet.
You often get a post that says 'I want to home ed but my DC loves school- what should I do'? As if they need to even ask. They also do it because they hated school or had a tough time and they project it onto their child.
Lots of parents on Mumsnet have a parenting philosophy before they have even had the child!

Where I live, it is illegal to homeschool- as it is considered to prevent children from getting normally socialised, and generally 'condemsn' them from continuing academic education post 16 and therefore university entrance. Ths because the post 16 syllabus includes all the traditional subjects up to the Uni entrance exams at 18/19 (all sciences, 2 foreign languages, history, geography, etc, etc, 9 to 11 subjects)- which is very different to the extremely narrow AS/A Level system in England and Wales. Not saying this is right or wrong- but some may be interested that it is illegal in some parts of the world.