Care home of the future

Mine would have a spa and massage but no Danish furniture please!

iPod docks in all the chairs
Laptop chargers in all chairs
A debating room
Visiting speakers
Really good quality fresh coffee (or I'm not going)
An entirely separate room for the moaners

I am assuming I have only gone into this home because I can't get around on my own.

I will prbably come back with more when I've had time to think

Residents' gathering rooms where chairs are not llned up around the walls,and elderly people do not all need to sit on waterproof upholstery or upright wing chairs. Some cosy sofas and armchairs, headphones for those of us who want to listen to the Rolling Stones, and pleeeeeaaaase....no singalong sessions of 'Roll out the Barrel' and other world war two songs. Wrong generation!

The gardens would have raised beds of herbs and veg, lovely scented flowers, pergolas with grapevines and wisteria, an area for boules and chess, where we could sit and put the world to rights. Glasses of wine offered round whilst we are relaxing.

The menu woud be adventurous, with the odd traditional meal on offer. The chef would cook requests, not just what the majority want.

Art and culture classes or gatherings for those who want to participate. 'Show and tell' sessions so residents could talk about their lives and interests, if they wanted to. Rides out in the countryside or to the beach for some fresh air, lunch out, the odd concert or cinema trip. Film room for residents who love to take in a good film without being disturbed. Craft room where residents could share their old skills.

Permanent staff, and some on bank who know the home, not strangers from an agency who don't know what's in the records about the residents' likes, dislikes, needs and health issues.

Spur of the moment, unnanounced inspections. Mandatory training to be completed by all staff, tailored to the needs of the elderly, infirm and vulnerable. Volunteers to visit thise residents who are lonely, pets visiting, children encouraged to come in and not have to be quiet. Pets living there that residents can help to care for.

Residents can be taken to visit their homes if they wish, or enabled to spend one or two days with relatives where feasible. Put-u-up beds for family wanting to sty close durng illness or when residents are dying.

Freedom to send for takeaway meals, have your mates round for lunch, have a lie-in without cleaners coming in your room to change the bedding.

Don't know how anyone would make that lot work! Costs should have a ceiling with sliding scales of payment.

I'd like
Televisions that refuse to show soaps

Lots of trips out...to real places not places deemed suitable for grannies. So if the chippendales or similar are coming and grannies want to go it can be arranged ......just a suggestion not saying I'd go lol

Dancing

Never, never call me 'dear'

Once again when has said it all! But I would like the singalongs, just with my choice of music!

Could the 'show and tell' sessions be time limited please? I really don't want the same old biddy going on and on about the same thing day after day!

Perhaps it oculd be near a school or college where the youngsters come in to visit as part of their curriculum?

Can we have a minibus with full time driver please so that we can go out on spur of the moment trips? e.g., sun is shining lets go to the cricket/beach/pub etc.

Definitely having that chef who will cook what I want.

Assuming I can't get about can someone do my nails and hair please?

The college near my mum's nursing home would send students in to do nails, so one elderly woman had long acrylics with a leopard print pattern! She was thrilled with them.

Agree abiut the spur of the moment trips.

I cringed at Lesley Joseph's attempts to lead a singalong of 'Don't Dilly Dally on the way' typical of the patronising attitude to older people.
My ex is now in care home(mobility problems).He used to sing (baritone) solos ,opera,oratorio,lieder to professional standard.He plays his own CDs in his room but won't go near the communal gatherings.

individual flats with own front doors which lock and adjustable heating
internet access in every room
a cafe
a pub
a swimming pool
spa
restaurant
qualified staff 24 hours per day in a recognisable livery/uniform
a programme of seminars and educational programmes (optional)
tai chi
minibus
crochet lawn
golf course (9 holes will do)
tennis courts
badmington courts
exercise studio
gardens or a sun terrace accessible from every room
art studio

NO
bingo
singalongs
strawberry teas
dominos
quoits
sloppy tasteless food
PLEEEEESE

George as concierge, Rafa Nadal as gardener and somebody like Michel Roux or Raymnd Blanc as chef please? Maybe Liz Earle offering beauty treatments too. (Dream on)

susie - just love the notion of a crochet lawn!

I'm right there with you gracesmum

(and don't forget all our lovely dogs should be with us being treated like royalty!)

Some homes have quite a lot of those things already but the residents are not always interested.
when I think you are very optimistic about not sitting on waterproof chairs

We would be supplied with super-strength Tena Lady and non-crackling waterproof pants!
(For those who needed them, of course...)

susie if you need all those things why are you going in a home?!? If I could play tennis and badminton I would not be going into a home

Carry on with the fantasies, everyone - if GNHQ want to influence the creation of future care homes, maybe we'll be willing to forsake our 'massive, empty homes' and go to live in these little paradise homes

I'd be there like a shot if I could take OH with me! There'd have to be a granddads' shed!

Can I take my young "friend"?

A Jacuzzi
Coffee bar
Licenced bar -open all hours
Escorted trips to local pub.
Massage and other therapies ,beauty treatments available on site.
Visits from animals
Visits from local children,musicians etc.
A swing in the garden. Really,comfortable recliner chairs
Local dress shops/Oxfam bring in good quality clothes to have a dressing-up session
Instruction /support in IT skills at all levels

And all things that when suggested

Engines and things for the old gents (and any old ladies who want to) to tinker with.

Young gents for the old ladies to tinker with (if required lol) but no young ladies for old men cos that would just be pervy. Oh I love double standards

Exciting acts visiting not primary school choirs. They're cute at Christmas but excrutiating at any other time unless you have a child/grandchild taking part. Instead something like the Bobcats or Memphis Belle Orchestra or any other singer/band we think are good enough to entertain us. Circus acts like acrobats and fire eaters. Snake charmers.

Granny outings to big events like the Castle Howard Last Night at the Proms where we can take over the best areas and no one can move us because we're grannies.

Having staff remember that our bodies might be getting on a bit but our minds are still only 20.

No budgies or canaries unless to feed someone's pet cat.

Vampire

Double beds.

Joss sticks and hookah pipes to keep it sweet smelling

Yes! An 'Old Hippy' Lounge....

Swimming pool with hunky young life guards.