I've always felt that it was for others to see an elder family member as the 'Head of the Family' not something one assumed just through a simple case of mathmatics. My father is still alive and yet none of us see him as the head of our family because of his intolerbale behaviour over the years. Perhaps I am odd but just being the oldest suvivor does not automatically make one the most respected member of the family. That accolade/responsibility should be given to the one who everyone (more or less) views as the family member who holds the family together. This might be through sheer hard work (organising all those get to-gethers),being the most knowledable and respected or perhaps just being the one everyone turns to when stuff goes wrong. For us it was our Mum and now that she is no longer around we are all a little rudderless but, of late, my sister and I are sort of 'sharing' the role though it is something that is slowly evolving and far from a formal appointment.
