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Going to a wedding alone...

(87 Posts)
Shizam Wed 12-Apr-17 21:38:50

Starting to dread it. A very old friend has asked me to her daughter's wedding. It's a huge one, involves a two-day stay, miles from home and I will be there as billy no-mates. Really only know the immediate family who will, of course be busy. Most of the guests will be far younger than me. Starting to have palpitations about the prospect of it all. Has anyone else faced this successfully?

Jayanna9040 Sun 16-Apr-17 11:18:20

Well Witzend, I was widowed quite young, am easily noticed in a crowd due to my size and am very deaf, so I guess I know what an ordeal social occasions can be! But the more you retreat from things the smaller your world becomes until even everyday stuff is scarey. And I have never met with anything except friendliness and being included. It's a wedding!

henetha Sun 16-Apr-17 13:27:28

I think you will be fine, Shizam. In recent years I've been to weddings, funerals, parties etc, entirely alone.
I am always overwhelmingly touched by how kind and friendly most people are when they discover you are alone.
Weddings in particular are lovely happy occasions and I bet you will find that you enjoy it.

Shizam Mon 17-Apr-17 00:44:03

I am so touched by all your messages, for and against going.Thank you again. Of course I will let them know if I'm not going, still have time to confirm.
Thinking about it, the ex who would have been plus one was always socially tricky, so it's just the thought of arriving alone. The only family members that could have been persuaded, if I'd asked for another plus 1, are busy that weekend.
So, it's either gird my loins. Or not!
Think my friend who invited me would be horrified that this has come to represent such a mountain to me. But it is quite hard being 'of an age' and single. Usually happy to hide in my bunker and not face up to this.

tinaf1 Mon 17-Apr-17 20:49:01

Have been reading all answers to this thread you have been given some great advice Shizam and really do feel for you , pretty sure I would feel same , on your last post you say about how your friend would feel about your dilemma, if you had a chat to her about how you feel do you think she would be able to make an extra effort ( along with all her other jobs for the day ? ) to make sure you were seated with someone you're comfortable with at the church and reception , Good luck whatever you decide

Shizam Thu 20-Apr-17 23:49:36

Little update. Asked friend if anyone from inn was booking cab so if I could join them. And said was feeling a bit eek about going alone, She said had already planned someone from family would come and get me and then I will be there pre wedding. Which is just brilliant.
Still have to conquer travelling there, day etc, alone! Went all over Hawaii alone when young. Youth is a wonderful thing!

trisher Fri 21-Apr-17 09:15:52

So pleased for you Shizam. Travelling when you are older is better because you become invisible as you age. You can wander around unnoticed, without any annoying comments or offers.

Welshwife Fri 21-Apr-17 09:19:35

I think that your friend realises it could be hard for you and so the family will absorb you into their numbers and you will have a fab time. - so far so good with your arrangements.

tinaf1 Fri 21-Apr-17 09:53:45

Have a great time Shizam ??

Lona Fri 21-Apr-17 09:58:10

Shizam Sounds like your friend is very thoughtful. Go and enjoy yourself and you won't be on your own because we will all be there too (in spirit) prodding you gently from behind ??

annodomini Fri 21-Apr-17 10:23:44

It's a bit of a balancing act, Shizam. You don't want to offend an old friend and I know you'd love to see her. However, you'd be away from home for two nights and might find yourself in a solo position among a crowd of people who mean nothing to you. I know - it happened to me and I wouldn't do it again! Maybe, if you really have qualms about it, you could ring your friend with a completely plausible excuse reason for not attending, and arrange for her and her husband to visit you for a weekend in the summer.

Shizam Fri 21-Apr-17 18:53:11

Love the idea Lona that you'll all be with me in spirit! Will keep that in my mind. Think wedding has come to represent all of my fears of facing future alone. Sure I must have felt lonely when I was young, in fact I can remember it. But feel so much more vulnerable now. Lost so much confidence. But hiding in my bunker isn't going to resolve that, so I will go. And see how my wobbly nerve copes!