No friends

I went to work in a charity shop about 4 years ago (it wa spart of the Jcenters idea) they "encouraged" you (then they coudl turn round and say you hadn't "tried hard enough to expand your skills"

Anyway I met with other staff in the shop and then the regular customers.
I became friends with one of the staff and we have enjoyed a couple of days out here n there.

Went to Whitby on a day coach trip had fish n chips in a the Harbour restaurant a lovely day it was too.

Also day out at Skipton with fish n chips (we like fish n chip) lol.

Although the charity shop is about to close and I have also got a paying job,we are still going to meet up.

Volunteering is pretty good as you can usually choose days/hours etc.

Joining today and hoping to get to know people in Surrey. Chertsey/Weybridge/Staines in particular. Not so easy to make new friends as we get older but we must try ?

PS I am not looking for a bosom buddy to tell all to, I have friends I’ve known since high school and before to do that with. But friends to go to the movies or out to lunch with etc would be wonderful!

Hello - I just found this site and am overwhelmed to find that I am not the only one who hasn’t many or any close friends available, and finds it difficult to make any. I thought it was just me. I live in the states, recently having moved from Seattle WA to a very small city in Idaho near the Canadian border after my husband retired. I had a few friends in my old city but after 3 years here I haven’t made one. I’m very friendly and can talk to anyone but no one seems interested in more. I’m 68, a retired accountant, and very outgoing. My recently retired husband says he isn’t interested in having friends or joining any clubs or groups and won’t even go to church with me. He is a nice person but has always been somewhat of a loner and doesn’t even want to go out and do anything even with me. I volunteer at a Hospice which I love but of course my patients all die, and though very nice most workers there are in their 40’s. I joined a garden club but it’s very clicky it seems as they all know each other. The neighborhood I live in is lovely but no one ever comes outside. I walk my dog and never see anyone. Plus it seems that in this town the women, young or old, are either divorced with children or widowed. I can’t invite anyone over because my house is fairly small - 3 bedroom 2bath - and my husband is always there! I have no place to entertain without him there listening in. I apologize for such a long first post. I am hoping someone has a thought or two for me. I’m very lonely for some female companionship and wish I could invite all of you over for tea or coffee and a chat. Thank you for being here and letting me join.

hi i live in Streatham , alone i see no-one , if anyone wants to meet for a wee tea, chat , just me n the tv , i am 68 , Scottish , would love to make some friends

hi
Its the 1st time I have placed a comment on gransnet are there any ladies out there living in Southport or near who would like to meet up for a coffee.

Volunteering is a very good idea bettyboo and joining groups which follow things you are truly interested in but are they going to make you the close, confiding friends you need?

I've never felt like you although I can perfectly understand it.

I have heaps of acquaintances but no real friends either but I am, by nature what you might call a sociable loner - I get on well with people but I don't get close, not close enough to confide my deepest fear anyway

I have a busy life because I joined a group made up of people from a different culture to my own, even speaking a different language, and it's truly fascinating to learn about and appreciate the differences.

Outside our social meetings we have cultural duties such as funerals and attending official meetings.
But then, at the end of the day, I do what I have done all my life - I come home, close the door and breathe a sigh of relief that I'm alone.
I hope you find real, genuine friends in 2019.

There is no edit button because hq won’t trust us with one although we ve asked so many times
It looks as if you are on the exact right thread Blue

What is wrong with me today? It is the right thread! Sorry folks. Why isn't there a delete button?

Whoops, sorry, posted on wrong thread, how did that happen?

After DH died I made myself go out and do things, because like many people I have many acquaintances, but not a real close friend. I chat to people and join in and think that perhaps one day a real friendship will happen, and until it does I just keep busy.

it would seem that I have lots of close friends on my Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, but it isn't the truth. I have no friends actually. I don't have a significant other. But I'm actually social and outgoing, not introvert. I'm able to make friends quickly. I hate surface relationship, so I choose to be alone.

Several years ago, after my divorce, I worked for 8 months, 5 days a week up in Cheshire and shared a house with 3 professional men aged 23, 30 and 37.
Whenever I went back after the weekend, they'd roll out the red carpet, so to speak and be smiley and happy. When I wasn't there, apparently, they didn't speak to each other, cooked at separate times and spent evenings in their own rooms instead of the lovely sitting room, conservatory or garden.
When the job came to an end I got presents, hugs...and a card which left me in tears. One had written, 'The heart has gone out of our home'.
Contrary to what appears to many on here, as my somewhat brusque and critical attitude, my friends and many aquaintances have said that life is never dull when I'm in their company and seems flat when I leave. I'm quite outgoing and will happily go into a pub alone and chat to strangers.
I think you have to try, in small ways, to dip your toe in social waters, stepping deeper on each occasion.
A stranger is a friend you do not yet know.

I do hope those of you who are genuinely wishing to meet new friends have great success. It must be difficult despite knowing there are so many in the same situation. I have always been an all or nothing type of girl. This has resulted in two female life long friends who I don’t see very often and countless aquaintences through work and other areas in life. I don’t count them as friends as I know very little about them apart from meeting up occasionally both socially and work connected. I’m fortunate to have a large close knit family and a DH who is there for me 24/7. He’s always been my best friend in the world and my heartfelt sympathies go out to those who have had and lost that special friendship. I can’t even begin to imagine how I’d feel but if the day comes I only hope I’ll cope and would wish the same for him.

Hi what area of Cheshire Lolly 69?

Hi lolly69. What part of Cheshire ?

Neleh. I am in a similar position. Retired 2 years ago, had no social life when working. My "friends" then were nothing more than colleagues, but that was OK at the time. Now I feel that I have no friends that I can meet up with, I have joined some groups, table tennis and ukulele, I chat with people at these groups but we are not "friends". I think it is difficult to make friends when you are older. Are there any groups that you could join? However I know only too well that joining a group does not necessarily produce friends, but it will give you some contact with other people.
I wish you well.

I live in Wiltshire. Have no friends to go out with or meet for a chat. I would love to have some close friends. My marriage has broken down and life is very lonely.

In so sorry to hear about your loss Franbern. Its hard to say goodbye to friends with whom you've grown so close and shared so much. I don't think anyone can replace them. But yes life can continue quite pleasantly with friends on a different level and we can hold on to precious memories with thanks.

I can sympathise with the original poster. My two closest, long=time friends died, - one six months before I retired from work, and the other six months later. My parents were long dead and my only sibling, a much older brother had died some years before that. My marriage had collapsed many years earlier.
On retirement I threw myself into joining local organisations, doing charity work, etc. etc.
Made loads of aquaintances, but none that I would call 'friends'. Think that friendship is based on many joint memories. This is wha I miss most about my two besties not being around now. There were things they knew about me and my family (and vice versa), that no-one else knew. But I had known them both for many, many years. My best friend I had met when we were both expecting our first child. We shared so many laughs, heart-ache, celebrations, etc. over the forty years we knew each other. For the last couple of years we would have a daily long telephone conversation with each other.
Took me several years to accept that the time of making real friends had passed, I still have one left and have always counted as a friend a sister-in-law, (although she and her hubbie have now moved some distance away). Life can continue quite well without actual close friends.

G'Day Stevie; Similar environment here! Living on my own at home, but I like my own company. Just as well, otherwise life would be hell. fighting all the time
One side-effect of getting "old" is that friends etc tend to fall by the wayside; can't remember how many lawn bowling colleagues I've farewelled.
My next birthday is July 8th (I'll be 91 years young!), so you've a long way to go.
If anyone bothers to ask me how I'd say, "Get some good genes", Get a sense of humour, Get out to computer classes to keep the grey cells churning and meeting like-minded seekers of knowledge!
One down-side will be the dearth of birthday cards on my mantlepiece , especially the "Happy Birthday, Darling xxx" one; not from a Grandad, I might add.
Oh! also, a dog is invaluable for company and keeping sane; my "Jessie" left me not long ago, but it's too late and not fair to get another. I used to talk to her (enjoyable, as she never answered back!) and I still do!
A bit like Jack on "New Tricks" No! I don't think I'm senile yet!
BTW a bottle or 3 of Shiraz also helps!
Good Luck, Steve
Rufus2 OBE

A few years ago I subscribed to the Saga Magazine , and at the back you had a penfriends and partnership page , I found some penfriends that way , and also through the then zone others , magazines depending on what ones you read you can find similar items in them its a pity Age UK do not do a magazine with those things in.
Mick

I belong to our local U3A but only joined one group which meets once a month. Otherwise I've got a dp who lives with me, an adult son who also lives here, and a ds2 who is married with 2 children of his own, living just a few miles away. They call on me for grandparent duties probably three times a week, daytime as well as evening. What with the house, the garden and the dog, I really don't have any spare time. The friends I have got don't live locally. I would like some, but like all newly retired people, I wonder how I ever found time to go to work!

I have a son who I see once a week and couple of friends I see occasion ally. But doesn't give me that close feel
I have lots of aquitances via some volunteering but still feel alone.

I liken it to being in a lonely marriage.

Some like to think I must be OK and I do get to go out but other times I force myself out by myself

Some virtual friends as well but is virtual a substitute?

So many of these posting are only children! I too am an only child (of two only children!) and remember being painfully shy as a child, which made making friends very difficult. I had no siblings or cousins to practise my social skills on and lived in a large detached house where neighbours were mainly older people and no children! I do recall that I was sent to nursery school at about 4 but I found other children confusing and illogical ? I wonder if these early starts make friendships harder?
I do have a handful of good friends “collected”? over several years from uni and work and one an old neighbour who taught my children to swim (she ran a swimming school) but as others have said, friendships require working at and give and take.
Also I agree with those that say when moving to a new area throw yourself into all local events and volunteering opportunities (if not working still) it’s the best way to feel a part of the new place as soon as you can. Friendships often develope from these but even if they don’t you will have fun ?