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Middle of the night negativity

(44 Posts)
soos45 Sat 07-Sep-19 05:28:02

Does anyone else suffer from middle of the night negativity?
After the compulsory early hours bathroom, visit my mind refuses to settle back to sleep and works it's way through many facets of my life where things can go wrong- my health, DH's health, upcoming house move, finances, DS and DD's futures....and so it goes on. Can be an hour or more when I envisage anything that can go wrong WILL go wrong. Sleep eventually comes but this needs to stop. In daylight hours I'm a positive happy person ...and I really need a full night's sleep!! Any ideas???

Carillion01 Wed 11-Sep-19 11:58:57

I've always been a poor sleeper, even as a child. I must have had anxieties I never knew I had!
When I was three I had a 'Sooty and Sweep' annual that said in its back cover if you shook the pages over your pillow the oofle dust would make you go to sleep! Worked beautifully until my mother said it was ridiculous and didn't work.

Seriously though I agree with previous posters and feel things feel worse when you reflect on them in the wee small hours.
I have to make myself physically worn out or watch something unimportant on the iPad...that invariably sends me off.

Maggiemaybe Tue 10-Sep-19 21:17:24

At least us GN Maggies have more consideration than to be waking people up at the crack of dawn. We’re only very rarely demented or unsociable. wink

Rufus2 Tue 10-Sep-19 14:52:06

get woken at 5 am by a demented maggie knocking furiously on the window, thinking its own reflection is a rival!
Callistemon; That's not a sociable Maggie! shock At least my feathered friends don't get up until sunrise which is after 5.00am, although I'm usually not up until later (not as late as Burlington Bertie!), so I can't confirm that!
However, they don't get much of a reflection with windows being so dirty at this end of Winter; the tapping is a signal that it's their breakfast time, (after mine!) grin OoRoo

Callistemon Tue 10-Sep-19 13:50:04

Rufus I'm in your time zone.

I'm ok until I have to trek to the little room then I imagine every worst case scenario. When I eventually drop off again I get woken at 5 am by a demented maggie knocking furiously on the window, thinking its own reflection is a rival!

Rufus2 Tue 10-Sep-19 11:39:21

but sometimes I get to 0 and have to start again!
Grannybags; It's very annoying, but at least you don't get negative! grin As I've said elsewhere, I'm having lunch at your 3a.m. so feel free to chat!
Equally, our 3a.m is your tea-time, so if I'm still wide awake I could post and ask "what's for tea tonight" Cheers wine

Alexa Sun 08-Sep-19 10:00:38

One's vitality is low and there are no distractions to divert your attention from reality.

I tell myself the story of a favourite film. The rule is not to leave anything out even the dialogue, and recall as many visual details as possible as if telling the story to someone else.
I seldom think the story beyond the first two scenes.

Marilla Sun 08-Sep-19 09:54:24

I do sympathise with you all. I now do alphabetical lists in my head. Countries, cities, animals, song lists etc.
If my mind starts to wander off, I get back on track and start the list again. I have been surprised at how well this works on most occasions.

DanniRae Sun 08-Sep-19 09:48:44

That makes sense Fennel because if I am hungry during the day it can make me feel 'down'.

Chewbacca Sun 08-Sep-19 09:22:24

So many of us..... .

My way of getting back to sleep is by listening to iplayer radio; radio 4 or 4 extra. But it's not ideal when you have to be up for 06.30 to get to work or do childcare.
At weekends, if I'm really desperate to sleep, I take an anti histamine tablet just before bed. Knocks me out for hours!

Fennel Sun 08-Sep-19 09:04:26

I think I once read it's because your blood sugar level drops to its lowest then. Leading to depressing thoughts and feelings.
Could be that - I'm the same.
Maybe have some sweeties by the bed to suck if we wake up?

mumofmadboys Sun 08-Sep-19 08:22:14

If I wake in the night and start worrying and can't get back to sleep, I read my tablet for half an hour and then go back to sleep. Seems to work for me.

bikergran Sun 08-Sep-19 08:14:16

I can deff say the repetitive word saying does work! I use it all the time.

Also (not sure if it has been mentioned) but there is usually someone lurking around on Gnet during the long hours. if you need a quiet chat. (don't wake the other Grans up though), no giggling,or wild parties) smile lol.

bikergran Sun 08-Sep-19 08:09:47

I think the reason it happens at night is.....the house is usually quiet, others are sleeping soundly, there's not much outside noise, the kettle/tv/radio is not on so no distractions like there are during the day.

Once daylight arrives, we are concentrating on other stuff, getting up/dressed etc whats for breaky/lunch etc.

But the long twilight hours are the longest.

Calendargirl Sun 08-Sep-19 08:01:09

I think many women do this, don’t think men suffer from lying awake in the night, at least my DH doesn’t seem to.
I have odd nights when I wake and as you say various scenarios flit through my mind. Mainly stuff I can do nothing about, and unknown horrors that might happen.
Just part of being a wife, mum and granny I suppose.

soos45 Sun 08-Sep-19 05:38:32

Thanks absent and maggiemaybe....with a combination of both your suggestions I’ve just had the best sleep in a long time ....feel great this morning smile

Wheniwasyourage Sat 07-Sep-19 14:57:40

3am for me too (think I'm turning into my mother). Worries going round and round, either real, like current health problems or what-ifs about the DGC. I'll try the word repetition absent and your backward numbers, Maggiemaybe, and thank you both for the ideas.

It's reassuring to find that so many of us have this problem, I suppose, as sometimes it can feel very lonely in the middle of the night, even if there is someone else there but you don't want to spoil their sleep.

SilverDarlings12 Sat 07-Sep-19 14:37:17

You always make me laugh Rufus. Slainte.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sat 07-Sep-19 14:32:07

Yes, I'm the same. During daylight hours I'm occupied but in the early hours I lie awake with my thoughts - regret about the past which I can't change, concern about the present and worry about the future.

These continue as though they're on a repeating loop. I try to think positive thoughts, daydreams etc. I've no idea how much sleep I actually get. As I'm not falling asleep during the day it must be an adequate amount.

Rufus2 Sat 07-Sep-19 14:24:30

How about this! 3a.m UK time is mid-day here, lunch-time! Feel free to post me and I'll give you a running commentary on my lunch menu! Guaranteed to bore you back to sleep! grin

Davida1968 Sat 07-Sep-19 13:17:22

Yes, sometimes I do have the "keep-me-awake-in-the-middle-of-the-night-worries"; I had them last night. I take comfort from knowing that (for me) things will always look at least a little brighter/better in the morning. (And often a lot better.)

Sara65 Sat 07-Sep-19 13:08:56

We live opposite a care home, and there are always lights on throughout the night, I find that comforting, knowing someone else is awake.

EllanVannin Sat 07-Sep-19 11:00:55

Oh yes, 1000 and 1 things go around in the brain if I happen to wake in the night/early morning which isn't that often might I add but when it does, I have to stay up after my odd visit to the loo as I'm really wide awake.

I look out of the curtains to see if there are any lights on anywhere and signs of life, then I make a cuppa. It's usually between 02.30 and 0300am. It can be a long night. I tend not to worry too much as it doesn't happen often fortunately and can catch up on sleep the following night.

It's so quiet at the best of times where I live and dead of night is even more so with not a vehicle in earshot, not good if you're an anxious person. I'm always glad to see 6am to switch on the news and feel back in the land of the living.

seacliff Sat 07-Sep-19 10:14:42

Sometimes I try reading. It takes me out of myself.

It must be a lightish subject, a good easy to read novel, something that draws me in and makes me forget my problems. After 20 minutes I can often settle down again and the story is now what's on my mind. Worth a try, although I do realise that sometimes, you just can't face reading.

Bridgeit Sat 07-Sep-19 09:50:39

Me too, I think it is an unwanted but inevitable side effect of having a mother hen personality.
I believe if we grew up having to shoulder a little too much responsibility at too young an age it will have had some impact on our behaviour. ie If something goes wrong it will be my (our ) fault.
The adult brain, common sense & emotion then has to rationalise our thoughts to gets us back on an even keel, which can be exhausting.

soos45 Sat 07-Sep-19 09:50:10

Thanks for your responses everyone. Nice to know it’s not just me being a bit batty grin . Will try some of your suggestions...thanks.