Men becoming grumpier with age

Remove the audience.

My daughter christened my husband's armchair "the ranting chair" as he rants about just about everything. Definitely more grumpy as he has got older.

On reading the comments should I consider myself fortunate in having had fifty years with a man who could turn a hurricane, guess who? into a summer breeze
Yes he did have his own views/opinions but what became obvious without that so many portray, aggression or condemnation for /of others whose views/ opinions differ.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glad I'm not alone then, as I thought it was only my DH that had become a 'Victor'. Remove the audience is no good, as even if I'm in another part of the house I can still hear him shouting at the tv/computer. Even the dog comes running to me to hide from the ranting. Sometimes remote control/mobile phone get thrown across the room, which doesn't do them any good. I put this behaviour down to H having a stroke 8 years ago, but I am now wondering about dementia signs.

quizqueen Mon 07-Oct-19 11:21:16
Remove the audience.

I can't speak for other people's OHs, but mine doesn't need an audience. I quite often come in from the garden or wherever and hear him shouting or grumbling at the TV long before he even knows I'm there.

My dear old late husband would have been exactly the same as all these posts had he lived long enough.
I used to hop-it to bed before Question Time years ago but still heard him shout " bloody idiots " 2 floors up !

Mine's actually mellowing with age, becoming less quick to shout etc. Or have I finally just learnt his triggers? :D

Gardner gran I agree wholeheartedly with you. Those are the words I hear more and more frequently now, he gets himself worked up into a right tizz, he will throw tools down, curse the computer etc., It's like a toddler having a paddy sometimes. At first I thought it was just his way of getting me to sort out whatever it was. He never used to be this bad. He has frightened me on several occasions now and I have to get well away from him then he knows he's scaring me, (due to things in my past which I have explained to him). He will calm down - until the next time. I've noticed lately that this once laid back, lovely chilled chap is turning into a real grump. He's started to make comments in front of other people too which he thinks are hilarious but really aren't. I've pulled him up on this in private as they are hurtful but he won't stop. It's not a case of me being too sensitive, it's a real change in him.

Yesterday, the Dh, aged 62 grumbled about:-

-his phone
-the larder cupboard being full of bags
-his iPad
-his aching legs
-how cold it was
-crossing the road.

In fact, I won't go on because every single thing he did all day he moaned about and when I pointed this out he denied it. He is tetchy, grumbling and dissatisfied with every reason on earth to be grateful and happy. He sounds like a whining seven year old.

I can stop him moaning for a while but then he starts up again. I am heartily sick of it.

I don't not love him but I wish he could see how lucky he is. When he had a prostate cancer scare and it turned out to be OK he was relieved and I wondered why since he does not seem to value his happy, lucky, prosperous life at all.

I am lucky, mine has always been patient and even-tempered and still is. Good thing as I used to get wound up but not as much now. I haven't got the energy.

Yes I agree - my other half has definitely become grumpier. However on consideration is it more grumpy or less patient? Queuing at checkouts , indecisive drivers on the road , waiting for me if I’m late, banal television programmes - think gogglebox, strictly come dancing, people who walk slowly - oh the list goes on (and he’s only (59!). Can it get worse?

TerriBull went to see Judy at weekend and found my husband with tears in his eyes at the end. Having lost our DD in April this year his emotions obviously came to the fore at the sadness in Judy's life. Wouldn't have shown though when he was younger no matter what. He is much softer now.

To a certain extent my DH is a member of the grumpy old men's club as well. When it gets too bad, I try gently pointing out that it isn't very funny to listen to.

If he is on the "everything is going to hell in a handcart" trip, I point out that our grandparents and our parents said the same when they grew old.

Nothing is the way it was when we were young, but it never has been for any generation.

In fairness to men, I must admit that you would go far to meet anyone grumpier and sourer than my mother in the latter years of her life, so it isn't purely a man thing.

Retirement does seem to hit many men harder than it does women, perhaps because we are still attending to all the household matters we did alongside our careers, so we don't feel so old and useless.

Every item in the news requires a running commentary in this house and he is usually in full Victor Meldrew mode by the end of it, particularly when reading the paper. Terrible is his favourite description of each event.

Lol my husband is 56 too craftycat but so far shows no signs of grumpiness I’ve obviously got that to come going by previous posts

No....mine was a grumpy young man....grumpy middle aged man..... and now grumpy and aggressive old man!

Oh dear, I'm the odd one out here. My husband is quite laid back and tolerant nothing much fazes him. I'm the one who is irritable in the morning and can be very grumpy.

Saggi Quote [ No....mine was a grumpy young man....grumpy middle aged man..... and now grumpy and aggressive old man!] End Quote.

Well, perhaps Mr Saggi feels he has been married to someone who was a grumpy young woman....grumpy middle aged woman....and now a grumpy and aggressive old woman who rants about him on social media.

4allweknow sorry for your loss I know exactly what you mean, that describes my husband too.

Since I retired for the third time! I’ve become very laid back, no work responsibilities I suppose and I’m enjoying my time gardening, cooking, travel and sport. Everything does take a little longer!!.

FFS is what I hear constantly when he’s at home. Don’t get me started on being in the car with him. Nobody but nobody can drive according to him and everything is everyone else’s fault
He’s only just turned 52, god help me

Oh Minxie I get a lot of the FFS said as well! Thank you for all your comments Grans it’s good to know there’s others out there with a ‘Victor Meldrew’!

Married Bliss! Share and share alike!
Another opportunity to re-cycle one of GreatNan's classics as a light-hearted antidote to all the misery being displayed here!

"A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noted that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching,with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years and everything has been and always will be shared, 50/50" The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied "It's his turn with the teeth!"

it’s good to know there’s others out there with a ‘Victor Meldrew’

How so!?