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Is there any hope for me?

(64 Posts)
GreenGran78 Mon 21-Oct-19 22:19:46

I was never taken to the baths, as a child, so never learned to swim. A friend persuaded me to go with her, in my early teens, and someone pushed me into the diving pool, which gave me a phobia about water. To make matters worse, my brother was drowned when I was 18.
I have taken two swimming courses at our local pool, some years ago, but such panic welled up every time I tried to follow instructions, that I got absolutely nowhere.
Now, at the age of 80, I am wondering if it is worth invested in some one-to-one lessons. They are quite expensive, and I would probably be wasting my money, but my DD in Australia has just bought a house with a swimming pool. I would love to amaze her by casually going for a swim, next time I visit.
Has anyone else overcome this phobia, at a fairly advanced age? Would I be wasting my time and money? I feel so stupid, not being able to swim. My head says, “Do this, and this, and you will swim just like everyone else.” My instincts say, “Keep your feet on the bottom, or you’ll drown!”
Is there any hope for me?

Maccyt1955 Tue 22-Oct-19 10:57:31

GreenGran78 please go for it.
I too have a phobia of deep water but I go swimming regularly at my local pool, and my trick is to keep to the lane on the far left by the side, so that you can hold onto the side if you need to. You can also use the side of the pool to do exercises in the water.
The water is so soothing, it clears my head and is very stress defusing. Swimming is one of the best kinds of exercise too.
Another tip is to have some lessons, and then go to the pool at a quiet time of day, so that you don’t get splashed or dive bombed by over enthusiastic children.
You don’t have to do anything spectacular when you have learnt. You can keep to the shallow end if you wish.
You will not regret learning...I promise you.

Juliet27 Tue 22-Oct-19 10:58:34

Oh Greengran I’m pleased to see your name as I’d forgotten it but knew you were due to go to Australia soon and wanted to wish you a great time. As for swimming ...this may sound odd but when lying in the bath it amazes me how if you just relax, your arms just float to the top and make you realise just how buoyant we are. Relaxation is probably key. Yes, go for lessons but don’t do what my mother did in her 80s and wander into the men’s changing room in error!

Hellsbelles Tue 22-Oct-19 10:58:55

Would you be in the position of being able to have one to one lessons ?
Perhaps by having the instructor give you their undivided attention and knowing the sign that you are beginning to panic a little would help, rather than you getting past the point where you can cope.

Nanny41 Tue 22-Oct-19 10:59:39

Go for it! I have never learnt to swim and would love to, as in this country there are so many lakes and so many opportunities, and everyone can swim, but I would feel self conscious about having lessons as the only "oldie"I dont know if they do one to one here, I doubt it,maybe I will have a go one of these days.
Green Gran let us know how you get on please.

NotSpaghetti Tue 22-Oct-19 11:03:46

Go for it GreenGran78 - this time you have a real incentive! What a joy it would be!
?
Good luck!!

Nannan2 Tue 22-Oct-19 11:09:06

I too cannot swim.i went with school a few times,but when instructor said let go you'l float,i sank like a stone! (I only weighed 6 stones back then as wellgrin My youngest son(16)is the same- he tries,he sinks,very odd! Ive tried a couple of times as an adult,but i get bad backpain in one area lower back,instructor said it will 'go away' as i 'mustn't be doing it properly' but its always the same! Yes it would be nice,but don'tgrin know if its worth the bother now im 56

nokkie Tue 22-Oct-19 11:11:55

Stop dwelling on your age - its just a figure that people attach to you. If you are fit and healthy then private lessons are the way to go. Once you have had a few lessons you might be able to join a small beginners group which will be less expensive. Good luck.

Nannan2 Tue 22-Oct-19 11:15:28

See thats the thing,neither me nor my son seem to have a natural bouyancygrinhmm-its same for me with riding a bike,i could never get the hang of it-i never had the balance-and my son is same for that too- very strange!(im definately not learning to bike- ride now!grin

Nannan2 Tue 22-Oct-19 11:21:42

My other 'kids' can all swim,and my GC, 2 of them are at quite high levels of training,and even doing diving and now lifesaving,(ages 9 and 11) so maybe i should ask them for lessons when they've completed everythinghmm

LondonMzFitz Tue 22-Oct-19 11:22:16

Firstly I think you need to be kinder to yourself. You had a bad experience and a tragedy with your brother. Quote "I feel so stupid, not being able to swim". Really, be kinder to yourself.

Does your local pool to a pool exercise class? No swimming involved, just a lot of faffing around in water with feet firmly on the floor. Maybe see if you can go along and watch one before committing yourself, and have a word with the trainer. Join in as much or as little as you want. You need to find confidence in water first before - and I'm going to say it - chucking yourself in the deep end demanding swimming of yourself.

I love to swim but I know in myself I don't like to be in any depth where I can't touch the floor. I accept that of myself.

Semiruralgirl Tue 22-Oct-19 11:25:21

interested to read your message. I am 78, and had a similar experience in a swimming pool when I was about 9 years old. I was pulled under the water by some other children messing around, and ever since I’ve had a phobia about swimming pools and the echoing sound of children shrieking! I’ve had lessons, and can basically swim, but lose my confidence as soon as I go near a swimming pool. I was ok in the sea, but shaky, and if there was anyone nearby I would just stop. I’d love to be able to swim but just can’t get over my phobia. I’m even scared to float which everyone tells me is a good way to start swimming. I think I need some hypnosis or similar to get over the phobia.

Nannan2 Tue 22-Oct-19 11:26:43

I take my youngest sons and often my GC on holiday,and i sit by the pool or paddle a bit.we went once a couple of years ago,and life guard said " you must be in the pool with under 8's!" I said,"crikey mate,SHE could save ME!"grin

Nannan2 Tue 22-Oct-19 11:28:51

Yes floatings definately out for me too,semiruralgirlsmile

knspol Tue 22-Oct-19 11:31:52

Why not try water aerobics for seniors first of all, have seen these and water is at most chest high, might get you used to being in a pool and then when you are feeling more confident in the water try the swimming lessons.

TrendyNannie6 Tue 22-Oct-19 11:40:06

Greengran78 so sorry to hear about your brother, I feel it’s something you want to do so go for it, have a go take it slow you don’t know what you will achieve, good on you , I admire you greatly,

Heleneva Tue 22-Oct-19 11:51:53

I've had some private lessons and it really boosted my confidence. It helps if it's one of the pools that doesn't get so deepen mime was an Inxependant club so try maybe so where private. She had an by just telling my to bob under the water holding onto the edges at the shallow end, and breath out through my nose. It was very strange at first but was so useful.

Granless Tue 22-Oct-19 11:54:02

No brainer! Do it! Get yourself swimming lessons. I’m 72 and didn’t swim much mid-life. I now swim weekly to keep me supple (sort of), exercise muscles and the social side. Get on with it to keep what you have.

FC61 Tue 22-Oct-19 12:05:08

I have always been very afraid of water and in the past tended to panic. But living near the Adriatic Sea I made an effort. What made a huge difference was learning to float. I became an expert floater , achieved by relaxing muscles and letting go. After that swimming was easy. Just scoop water . I know floating is easier in the sea so I’m not sure how easy in a pool.

grandtanteJE65 Tue 22-Oct-19 12:05:38

I am much the same as you, though happily no-one has drowned in my family, and losing your brother in that dreadful way must make your fear of water much greater than mine.

You need a teacher who specialises in teaching those who have a fear of water to swim. There are plenty who do and of course you need to tell her the whole sad story of why you are so scared of water.

I have conquered my fear to the extent of knowing that I can swim and enjoying doing so, if the baths aren't to crowded, or if I am in the sea with someone I can trust to help if I become scared again.

At the baths I usually have a word with one of the life savers on duty and explain and ask him or her to keep a bit of an eye on me. If it is one of the days when I am not too confident I stay either in the shallow end, where I know I can touch the bottom, or out at the side, where I can grab hold of the edge of the swimming bath if I loose confidence in my ability to stay afloat.

I am happier swimming on my back than my front. A friend who is a very good swimmer taught me how to quickly get onto my back and float while signalling for help. I have never needed to use it, but it really helps to know I can.

Hazeld Tue 22-Oct-19 12:30:54

Go for it. You're never too old and if you can afford it, why not? I'm not sure how you find a one to one teacher, at the swimming pool itself maybe? Or Google it. Good luck with it and maybe send us a pic when you manage it on your own or one with your DD in Australia smile

Tillybelle Tue 22-Oct-19 12:35:37

Greengran
Lots of hope! Every hope in the world! Please do it! My friend did, also with phobia, now loves to swim.
Good luck
lots of love ??‍♀️

beautybumble Tue 22-Oct-19 12:41:39

This is something you want, so no you won't be wasting your money. A good teacher will help you to overcome the fears you have and then you'll be well on the way to a whole new lifestyle. Actually I'm not good in the water either so I should take my own advice and I think I will. So I expect the first thing to get used to would be how to put your head under water. Once you've mastered that the rest should be much more achievable than you/we thought. Its worth it and now I've talked myself into giving it a go as well. Good luck.

TommyWolf Tue 22-Oct-19 13:19:03

I have never learnt to swim after being thrown in the deep end on my first swimming lesson in Junior School. It has never really bothered me until last summer on holiday when my 6 year old grandson slipped and feel into the pool on the holiday camp, he is a proficient swimmer but my natural reaction was to throw myself into the water to ‘save’ him. I didn’t know he could swim so well. He went under then resurfaced and swam towards the steps. I was rescued by a 15 year old school girl. The humiliation still burns today. My family thought the whole episode hysterical! lol!!!

Lancslass1 Tue 22-Oct-19 13:22:50

Well done you Green Gran.
When I went to Australia I was persuaded to go into the sea
when we visited The Great Barrier Reef.
I am petrified of the sea.
I can just about swim.
I did have all sorts of inflatable things wrapped round me and four people who promised me they would make sure I was fine.
Would I do it again-no way but would I , in your position ,do what you plan to do ?The answer is a definite “yes”
There will be a shallow end to the pool where you will be able to put your feet onto the floor should you feel the need.
Good Luck and well done for even considering it.

Hm999 Tue 22-Oct-19 14:02:40

Someone I know learnt to swim on an intensive, residential (?) week's course.