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What is pansexual? Layla Moran

(148 Posts)
boheminan Fri 03-Jan-20 09:55:41

I read today that Layla Moran, my local MP has come out as being pansexual. This has surprised me in as much as I've never heard of pansexual.

According to Layla (amongst other things)
it's all about the person, and that you love that person themselves, not if they're a man or a woman. Being pansexual means being attracted to people regardless of gender - which is different to being bi-sexual.

I've ended up feeling genuinely confused over this. Until now I assumed myself heterosexual, but after reading Layla's news, now I'm questioning myselfhmm

phoenix Fri 03-Jan-20 21:06:09

As far as I'm concerned, her sexual proclivities and activities are of no concern, providing they are with consensual adults who are able to give consent and don't frighten the wildlife.

"Policies, not proclivities" should be the mantra.

(Providing the policies are actually realistically deliverable)

HettyMaud Fri 03-Jan-20 21:09:38

Oh no.....something else to worry about!

HettyMaud Fri 03-Jan-20 21:16:39

I read an article which said that one day there may only be one sex - female. Because women are learning not to depend on men and so may one day evolve to be able to reproduce without them. Wish they'd hurry up then we wouldn't have to put up with all this nonsense.

Chewbacca Fri 03-Jan-20 21:22:10

I honestly don't give a tinker's cuss what sexuality someone is but I just don't "get" why anyone thinks that they have to tell the world and his dog what they do, and who with, behind closed doors. I've never felt the need to introduce myself to anyone as "I'm Chewbacca, I'm a nurse (or whatever) and I'm heterosexual". Why is it now so important to label ourselves regarding our sexuality? Does anyone really care what someone else does, provided it doesn't harm anyone else?

Doodledog Fri 03-Jan-20 21:34:04

I've never felt the need to introduce myself to anyone as "I'm Chewbacca, I'm a nurse (or whatever) and I'm heterosexual". Why is it now so important to label ourselves regarding our sexuality? Does anyone really care what someone else does, provided it doesn't harm anyone else?

Most of us don't have to declare anything, but as a journalist was about to run a story about her being in relationship with a woman, and maybe had evidence of other relationships of different 'types', maybe LM felt pressured into making some sort of statement.

Personally, I couldn't care less, but it is clear from some of the 'jokes' on this thread that a lot of people feel the need to comment on the labels, so maybe it makes sense to get in first.

Also, during the election campaign, Jo Swinson had very definite ideas about the Gender Recognition Act, so maybe it is deliberate LibDem policy to be inclusive?

Chewbacca Fri 03-Jan-20 21:47:32

But would anyone have cared that LM was in a relationship with a woman Doodledog? Even if a gutter press journalist was about to "spill the beans" about her sexuality, who would have actually given it a second thought? Does anyone really bat an eyelid these days? Does anyone really care?

Doodledog Fri 03-Jan-20 21:51:03

I don't, but just read the rest of the thread confused

SirChenjin Fri 03-Jan-20 21:52:34

Yes chewbacca - people do care. They laugh and mock, they take to social media to make revolting comments - in much the same way that gay people were treated in years gone by. Why else do you think the journalist was going to run the story?? They print crap like this because some people actually want to read about it - it sells papers bizarrely.

SirChenjin Fri 03-Jan-20 21:53:54

Oh, and it gives some adults on GN a right old larf, comparing it to having sex with saucepans hmm

Doodledog Fri 03-Jan-20 21:55:08

My thoughts exactly, SirChenjin.

Chewbacca Fri 03-Jan-20 22:03:44

Oh well.... I'd rather just live and let live personally. Can't be arsed getting het up about someone else's sexuality; we're all different in one way or another.

Luckygirl Fri 03-Jan-20 22:04:35

I really do not think that it matters what people do as consenting adults, but the need to label has become frankly confusing and has reached almost laughable levels.

The desire to be so strident about all this is I think a swing of the pendulum and gradually all this will settle down to a comfortable place in the middle where people do not feel the need to be standing up for their rights as society will have become more accepting; but at the moment we are on an upward swing.

Hopefully one day a journalist threatening to "out" someone for their sexual preferences will be a total damp squib and require no comment or interest.

Indeed - I am not the least interested in her sexual preferences or her desire to label herself.

Galaxy Fri 03-Jan-20 22:05:07

The papers arent interested in her sexuality in the way they arent particularly interested in the relationships of Ruth Davison Angela eagle etc etc. They are interested in the alleged fraud committed by her partner and the domestic violence incident involving Layla Moran and her previous partner. Why on earth would they care about her sexuality when there are other high profile politicians in same sex relationships.

BradfordLass72 Fri 03-Jan-20 22:07:46

I don't know who said it but they were right:

'There are those who will not understand; there are those who cannot understand and there are those who are too stupid to understand. Finally, there are those who are prepared to understand. They are in the minority but for the sake of society and progress, thank goodness they exist."

SirChenjin Fri 03-Jan-20 22:20:39

You tell us Galaxy - if they weren’t interested why were they about to publish a story mentioning her sexuality at all?? The answer is that it adds a certain something that is guaranteed to get the clicks to an otherwise boring story about yet another politician committing (or not) something they shouldn’t have. It’s disingenuous to suggest otherwise.

Good post BradfordLass -that last sentence in particular.

Galaxy Fri 03-Jan-20 22:25:42

Who says they were? I suspect they were going to publish a story of which sexuality was the least interesting thing. But if we are all talking about sexuality as Layla Moran presumably wants us to we are not talking about the serious concerns around this possible leadership contender.

SirChenjin Fri 03-Jan-20 22:36:10

I don’t believe for a minute that her sexual orientation - especially one that seems to cause so much confusion and hilarity - wasn’t going to be mentioned by the lower elements of the press.

Interestingly, the behaviour of our current PM doesn’t appear to have caused anything like that same consternation.

Oopsminty Fri 03-Jan-20 22:45:18

We don't need to know.

Nobody cares

It's like they are at Alcoholics Anonymous

Hi. I'm Layla. I'm pansexual

People are far more accepting than some would seem to believe

Hi. I'm Boris. I'm heterosexual.

Hi I'm Jeremy. I'm hetero too

Hi I'm Minty. I'm hetero and puppet lover

It's so unnecessary

I don't care

phoenix Fri 03-Jan-20 22:51:13

Bradfordlass there's a lot to agree with in that!

I have what might be seen as an oversimplified view, what people do with each other, as consensual adults, is their own business.

If those people happen to be in "public life" wether they be so called celebrities (in which case who gives a damn) or those in a position to have an influence in parliament, then if they are good, honest people, with the best interests of the country at heart, then, with sexual activities in mind, what they do and who they do it with matters not a damn!

Chewbacca Fri 03-Jan-20 22:52:23

Hear hear for that phoenix; my feelings exactly.

SirChenjin Fri 03-Jan-20 22:59:59

I agree - it should not matter in 2020 and I genuinely don’t care providing it’s not illegal and it’s between consenting adults in non-coercive relationships.

Others do care though - sex in all its voyeuristic forms sells papers and gets the clicks.

phoenix Fri 03-Jan-20 23:44:57

If you eat meat, then presumably you look in the butchers shop window, if you like what is on offer, you go in and make a purchase.

Ditto the greengrocer, and the baker.

Do you, before making your purchase, which you have decided to make based on the quality and price of the goods on offer, suddenly say:

"Oh, excuse me baker/butcher/greengrocer, before I actually buy your goods, would you mind telling me who you are going to be in bed with tonight, and what you are going to do?

janipat Sat 04-Jan-20 00:00:34

For goodness sake I thought sex was supposed to be fun! (disclaimer it can also be used for procreational purposes)
Of course jokes are going to be made, but the vast majority of people really don't care what other people are doing as long as it's legal. I think the joking is mostly about the absurdity of having to give every sexual activity a label, and trying to keep up with an ever moving/increasing list. I hope none of the critics are the ones who criticise Johnson for his sexual activity ( disclaimer, I don't like or support him and if he doesn't support the resulting children of his various unions he is an arsehole of the highest order) assuming they were all consensual. How many people watch films which seem to depict graphic sexual content, does that make them voyeurs liable for criticism? Personally I'd rather have sex than watch it, but each to their own.

trueblue22 Sat 04-Jan-20 00:37:34

grin

absent Sat 04-Jan-20 05:52:41

So much exhibition about people's sexuality seems slightly prurient and slightly flamboyant. I am a heterosexual woman but my sexual tastes and pleasures might be different from those of other heterosexual women – or not. I don't have to validate my sexual self or my body or my actions or my relationships or my attitudes in public – but in my private life, which remains my business.