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Daily Challenge #12 (Mon 20 April) - make us smile with your Q&A jokes

(66 Posts)
CariGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 20-Apr-20 09:35:13

We are feeling a touch Monday morning-ish here at GNHQ, so today's challenge is to make us (and everyone) smile with your favourite jokes. To keep it simple, we are asking for short and sweet Q&A jokes (What do you call etc etc)

Very much looking forward to seeing what you come up with. As ever, will start you off with one of ours...

Q - What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
A - Philippe Philoppe

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 20-Apr-20 13:29:33

Q - Why did the tomato blush?
A - Because he saw the salad dressing

moleswife Mon 20-Apr-20 13:30:00

How do you tell the difference between the head and tail of a worm?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

Nortsat Mon 20-Apr-20 13:57:37

Q: Where does a dog go, when it loses its tail and needs to get another one?

A: A retail store.

??

grandtanteJE65 Mon 20-Apr-20 13:58:57

Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?

A: It was embarrassed about having to change in the middle of the road.

(I know it's a hoary chestnut. Here's another):

Q: When does a Scottish gentleman resemble a donkey?
A: When he stands on his banks and braes (brays)

Pittcity Mon 20-Apr-20 14:10:35

How do you recognize an excellent farmer?
He's outstanding in his field.

Pittcity Mon 20-Apr-20 14:12:30

How do you get down off an elephant?
You don't. You get down off a duck.

lizzypopbottle Mon 20-Apr-20 14:30:42

My all time favourites:

Q. How do you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

A. A weasel is weasily identified but a stoat is stoatally different.

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A. No idea!

Q. What do you call a man with no ears?

A. Anything you like! He can't hear you!

cas58 Mon 20-Apr-20 14:56:37

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.

What do you call a girl between houses?
Alley

What do you call a girl in a frying pan?
Patty

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 20-Apr-20 15:06:04

Q - Why did Adele cross the road?

A - To sing Hello From The Other Side

chrissyh Mon 20-Apr-20 15:21:37

I stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun was.

Then it dawned on me.

grannydarkhair Mon 20-Apr-20 15:40:15

My son's favourite joke pre-school (he's now 40). I lost count of how often I heard him tell this joke to anyone and everyone.

How do you make a sausage roll?

Push it down a steep hill!

grannydarkhair Mon 20-Apr-20 15:41:48

What sits at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck!

MissAdventure Mon 20-Apr-20 16:05:54

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh.

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

Forestflame Mon 20-Apr-20 16:48:29

What do you call a man sitting in a cauldron?
Stew.
What do you call a man lying underneath a car?
Jack.

MissAdventure Mon 20-Apr-20 17:09:00

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?

Warren.

grandMattie Mon 20-Apr-20 17:12:38

Stop! Stop! They are so awful, I can’t stop laughing...

dontmindstayinghome Mon 20-Apr-20 17:26:04

did you hear the one about the blind skunk?
It fell in love with a fart.

What do you call a Dinosaur with no eyes?
A dyathinkesaurus.

MissAdventure Mon 20-Apr-20 18:08:20

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen.

nipsmum Mon 20-Apr-20 18:17:24

What happened to the paperboy, He blew away.

HiPpyChick57 Mon 20-Apr-20 18:18:43

Q. What can go up the pipe down but can’t go down the pipe up?
A. An umbrella

Q. What do you call a nun on a bicycle?
A. A cyclist!

MissAdventure Mon 20-Apr-20 18:31:28

What do you call a teenaged rabbit?

A pubic hare.

CherryCezzy Mon 20-Apr-20 18:37:53

Not sure what to make of this one but here goes ...

Q: What do you call a camp site?
A: Julian Clary

Bathsheba Mon 20-Apr-20 18:41:29

lizzypop I LOVE your weasel and stoat one! I laughed out loud at that!!!

CariGransnet thanks for this thread - it has really cheered me up just when I needed it most.

Bathsheba Mon 20-Apr-20 19:10:24

Q. How do you make a Viennese Whirl?

A. Put him on a merry-go-round.

merrellina Mon 20-Apr-20 20:15:57

Q What is the difference between a duck ?

A One of its legs is both the same.

I was told this many years ago ( in the sixties) still dont understand it ! !